Jetsam
by Niphrehdil
Summary: Merlin was disappearing. Ceasing to exist. The whispering ghosts were escorting him to the other side, and yet he just lifted his chin higher. -Try me," he answered dangerously.
1. Prologue

**Hey!**

It's been awhile. After I finished my multi-fic trilogy (Friendship called treason, Damages and First day of forever), I worked on several oneshots and small ideas. I think I wrote dozens of things, including small parts of multifics and so on, but never had the energy or the full inspiration to start a multific.

But here I am. I hope that some of you might remember me and my previous work and enjoyed it. This will be a multific if you want it to be. It means that if you want me to continue publishing this, please tell me - in other words, please give a review.

This is the proloque and gives you a short glimpse to the (possible) future chapters.

Ps. I'd like to thank the author _HighEmpress_ for encouraging me to start a new multi-fic.

Story: Jetsam (Prologue)

by: Niphrehdil

* * *

><p>The rain highlighted the desperate situation.<p>

-A-arthur..."

-Don't talk, Merlin."

The prince looked up and scanned the tower walls and windows around them. The great height could be felt - the air around them was different, thinner - and the hammering adrenaline in his veins made it even more obvious. They were high - very high - and the surrounding darkness and the ominous rain outside made it all much scarier.

Arthur cursed himself. He cursed his own stupidity and everyone who was involved in this.

He shifted his weight on his knees and felt how the icy feeling in his chest grew.

Merlin squeezed his eyes tightly shut and bit his lip.

-..rthur. You got to stop this. " he said, barely audible. His vision was blurry.

The prince didn't even notice how his grip tightened on Merlin's arm, that was slowly fading from sight.

Arthur held his own horror inside, focused on breathing and keeping his sanity together.

-I will. You'll be fine. So will the others. I will reverse this, Merlin." Arthur said, but his voice lost its strength and Merlin's name disappeared into the raging wind.

Because he knew that the options had run dry. His promise was empty.

He was scared. _Scared._ Arthur Pendragon was scared and the feeling was so powerful that he couldn't deny it, even from himself.

The thick marble walls didn't stop the rain coming inside and it washed over them in violent bursts that the wind sent. They were both soaking wet.

Merlin swallowed once more and leant even more heavily against the wall. He didn't even feel it properly anymore - like his whole body had gone numb and every touch could be felt through a thick curtain.

Which was more or less true.

Swallowing agony and forcing his eyesight to work, Merlin opened his eyes.

The black night surrounded them, and the unnatural rain mauled the castle. The air smelled like desperation. Merlin knew he wasn't completely there anymore - he was being erased, his memories and everything he had ever done and felt were drained from the world.

He was being erased.

He should feel bad. He should be furious and able to act, to do something about this - but he couldn't. He just lay there, his dying magic sensing how the world was sprained - dislocated. The rain felt wrong. The air felt wrong. The castle beneath him felt wrong - and Merlin could sense how it all was changing, slowly adding something that didn't belong and erasing something that did.

Merlin had imagined how he would die. In a fight, saving someone else - but not this.

_I'm not even dying, not in the true meaning of the word._

His body was shutting down. Merlin drew shuddering, broken breaths.

He had to close his eyes again, because he couldn't look Arthur in the eyes. The guilt was written all over the prince's face, on his eyes. Merlin looked past Arthur, and saw Nimueh standing there with a cold expression on her face.

Merlin blinked and forced her out of sight. When he opened his eyes again, she was gone. Instead, Merlin could make out the faint form of Will next to the pillars, watching Arthur and then turning his eyes to Merlin. He looked disappointed, and it stung Merlin's heart like a needle.

In one quick blink of an eye, Will was gone too.

Merlin forced his bleary eyes to lock with Arthur's.

_We need to do this _**now**. Merlin knew he was slipping away, and fast. Scarily fast.

He couldn't let this happen.

He wasn't going down without a fight, even if its price might soon become high.

Tick tock. Tick tock.

Time was running out.

_He _was running out.


	2. Chapter 1

Hey!

So I decided to post the first chapter. Just for the record, it was incredibly hard to write. The problem is that I know where I'm going but I didn't know how to start. :)

Oh well. I think that the first chapter isn't as interesting as I'd want it to be, but I needed an opener. Please tell me what you think. I'm still not sure whether I will publish the next chapters, even it the plot gets much (and I mean _much_) more complicated and detailed later on.

Oh, and about the timeline: this is set to season four.  
>Secondly, sorry about the spelling mistakes and the possible grammar mistakes - I once again I remind you all about the fact that I'm not a native speaker.<p>

Alright, that's about it.

No wait. Review? :D

Story: Jetsam (Chapter one)

by: **Niphrehdil**

* * *

><p>-Merlin?" Arthur asked. Quietly, unsurely.<p>

His servant glanced sideways. -What?" he asked, but his usual cheeriness was gone. Arthur bit his lip. He knew everyone in Camelot had been serious and distant in the past few weeks, but seeing Merlin being so quiet was...strange. It felt odd, as their usual banter had techinally disappeared and all was left was the occasional, small bits of conversation.

Arthur had somehow thought that the dark mood wouldn't take over Merlin. It somehow felt like that the situation wasn't officially serious before Merlin started to think that way. If he was starting to worry about it, it had to be bad.

Arthur hesitated. He didn't know what to do, or what to say. He wasn't good with words.

-Is there something bothering you?" the prince asked, and it sounded odd, even to his own ears. He rarely ever said something this straightforwardly.

It caught Merlin's attention, too, and he looked up, surprised. He eyed the prince, brows furrowed. -No...Well, yes. The situation with the outlying villages, of course." he answered and let out a small smile. Somehow, in Arthur's opinion, it looked fake.  
>The thought bothered him.<p>

_Is this really all about the reports?_

Of course, the prince was aware that he hadn't been that much around, sitting hours and hours straight in the council meetings, every day. He was the Regent, after all.  
>He had barely had any time to himself. And that of course meant that he hadn't really seen Merlin that much. Not to mention the knights' training or anything else.<p>

Now when Arthur looked at Merlin, and _really_ looked, his servant looked somewhat pale. Like he was spooked by something. Arthur scanned Merlin as he piled up some sheets. His hands were shaking. Just a bit - Arthur hadn't noticed it before. Not without looking closely.  
>He felt an uncomfortable sting between his ribs.<p>

-Merlin?"

-What, Arthur?" his servant answered, not looking up.

A moment of hesitation.  
>-Nothing." he said quietly, shaking his head.<p>

Maybe it was all in his head. Maybe Merlin was just worried like anyone else. He could be upset, too. Couldn't he?

After an hour of continous silence in the room, Arthur was going through the old reports again and again when Merlin quietly wished him goodnight. The prince was too deep in his thoughts to hear.

He let his eyes slide through to the report paper he was holding, and the words that were getting repetative nowadays popped into his view:  
><em>'people...gone mad...claiming...seeing hallucinations...apparition...stabbing each other...animals dead..."<em>

Arthur stared the papers numbly. He looked up and was about to open his mouth to speak, but the room was empty. And quiet. Very, very quiet.

This time, the prince couldn't ignore the bad feeling.

He hadn't even noticed when Merlin had left - and that hadn't happened in years.

* * *

><p>Merlin walked into Gaius' chambers. The fire was rattling distantly on the fireplace and the empty room that usually offered a safe place, seemed now ominous.<p>

Merlin's steps were heavy as he walked next to the fire, staring into the flames.

An umcomfortable lump in his throat made the anxiousness feel worse. Merlin breathed in and out, drawing the warm air into his lungs.

His mind was swirling. Merlin felt how the desperation had taken it's toll on him - he didn't even hesitate anymore.

_It has been too long. The situation can't be solved like this - Camelot's guards or scouts will never find out what's happening out there. Not quickly enough at least. They don't know what to search for._

The heavy burden of responsibility - and a hint of fear - settled into his shoulders, making it harder to breathe, to think.

_I need to do this. Now. _

Merlin closed his eyes for a moment. The faint heat of the fire seemed somehow comforting on his eyelids. Even if he felt cold - the goosebumps ran through his spine. His magic shifted restlessly.

Merlin drew a deep breath. _Come on. It's not so bad._  
>Slowly, he opened his eyes and forced himself to feel determined. All he needed was time. And good luck. Especially good luck.<p>

Merlin took a shuddering breath. _I'm sorry already, Gaius. Please don't be mad at me._

Dark chuckle rose to his lips but it faded away immediately. _Of course he won't be mad at me. He will be furious._

Merlin swallowed. _I hope Arthur doesn't find out. Because he'd kill me for this._

Again, the anxiousness made him feel oddly amused by the irony in that thought. _Alright, concentrate. This will work. It _has_ to work - there is no other option left._

So, reluctantly, Merlin turned away from the warmth. He forced all of the frantic, panicked thoughts into a locked place inside his mind until he was mostly calm. He couldn't afford getting scared. Not now - not with this.

His hands still shook. Merlin hoped distantly that Arthur hadn't noticed.

* * *

><p>-Oh, and Gaius, where is Merlin?" Arthur asked, and looked up from the papers. He had almost forgotten to ask.<p>

The old physician stopped and turned around, as other members of the council walked towards the Court Hall's doors in a steady stream. Their meeting has just ended. In the past weeks, they had held at least one council meeting during a day, sometimes even twice.

Arthur was partly in his thoughts, again worried about the new patrol reports that had arrived this morning - this time from the border of Cendred's kingdom. The prince glanced at the physician distantly, but something in his eyes drew Arthur's attention.

-What do you mean, where is he?" Gaius said, and his voice was sharp.

Suddenly Merlin's odd behaviour the evening before flashed in Arthur eyes. He stiffened and studied the physician more carefully. He didn't like the way Gaius sounded. -He showed up this morning but left almost immediately, mumbling something about helping you." Arthur explained.

Yes, that was true. Merlin had stopped by at his chambers, and Arthur cursed the fact that the new reports had arrived just then: he hadn't really paid much attention to his servant. And the word 'report' should be banned by law when this would be over. Arthur was sick of it already.

Gaius' eyes hardened, and it drew Arthur back to their conversation. The physician was clearly alerted. -Did he say anything else?"

-No." Arthur replied slowly, and noticed how Gaius' jaw tensed. -Why?" he added.

-For no reason." Gaius said and looked away. Arthur's brows furrowed._ He is acting strangely._

Arthur didn't like this at all. If Merlin had been acting strangely, and now Gaius...  
>-I think I'll go to find him then," Gaius said quickly and sounded too calm. Arthur noticed how he squeezed his left hand into a tight fist. -I bet he has gone to search those herbs. He should have done that ages ago, and as the winter is coming..."<p>

-Gaius." Arthur interrupted, and now his voice was demanding.

The physician looked now up. Arthur flinched - there was something in his glance that just proved his suspicion to be right.

Gaius looked suddenly much older than he was, as lines of worry shaped to his face. -To tell you the truth, Sire, he left this morning and told me he would be attending to you the whole day. I haven't seen him since. And because I have spent most of my day here in this council, I naturally presumed he was doing his chores."

Arthur felt how an uncomfortable feeling washed over him.

Gaius smiled reassuringly. -I'm sure he has been with the knights then."

-The knights are out on a patrol." Arthur said hollowly. -Merlin knew this because he prepared their horses for it yesterday morning."

A haunting silence filled the room.

Gaius looked away, almost sheepishly.

Then Arthur knew. He _knew_ there was something the physician knew that he didn't. Gaius was hiding something, something that was most certainly bad. The old physician had seen a lot of things, and something that upset him could _not_ be good. Especially when it had something to do with Merlin.

Arthur let ou a deep breath. -Gaius." he demanded. -What is going on?"

_I swear, if that clumsy idiot has gotten himself into trouble..._

Gaius stared at the floor. -To tell you the truth, I don't know, Sire. But I will most certainly find out." he mumbled. Then he looked up and a mask fell over his face, the efficient Court Physician polite-but-distant-look. Arthur knew it too well, having watched it from his childhood years.  
>-I will send a word to you as soon as I find him, Sire." Gaius added with the flawless mask on.<p>

Arthur hesitated._ You're keeping something from me.  
><em>

The prince glanced at the reports lying on the table before him. He knew he was the Prince Regent and he had the whole kingdom to rule. The situation was urgent and they still didn't have any explanation for it. They had been working on it for weeks, and it seemed to be only a matter of time when the damn nightmare would reach Camelot. But then again, Arthur felt an uncomfortable worry in his chest growing. If Merlin had really disappeared...The prince cursed mutely.

-I will come with you."

For a brief moment, Gaius looked shocked. It fed the bad feeling in Arthur's chest.

-But Sire, you are the Regent..."

-Nonetheless. "

Gaius' eyes widened a bit. -But I think it'd be for the best if you stayed, I can find him and remind him that he can't skip his chores like this..."

-Is there something you're not telling me, Gaius?" Arthur finally said, and now his voice was tensed. He leant a bit further, eyeing the physician.

_Merlin is not with the knights. If he told me he would spend the day helping you and then he told you that he'd be with me all day...You have no idea where he is. But you certainly have a clue. _

Gaius didn't answer. He didn't lie straight to the prince's face. Instead, he looked away and lowered his head.

Arthur took a deep breath.  
>-Alright. I will come with you. The reports can wait - there is nothing new to them anyway, as you well know." Arthur said and stepped forward.<p>

Gaius stiffened and there was look in his eyes that disturbed Arthur. Without saying a word, the physician turned around and started walking towards his own chambers.

* * *

><p>They didn't talk a word when they walked in the corridors.<p>

Arthur knew something was wrong. He didn't know what or how, but it had something to do with Merlin. And ever since Merlin had barely survived their encounter with Morgana and Morgause in the Isle of the Blessed...Well, Arthur had got a reminder that Merlin's impressive luck wasn't endlessly impressive.

They reached the door. Gaius hesitated for a moment, but then he pushed it open.

It was completely quiet.

Only the fire rattled distantly on the fireplace. Otherwise, nothing was out of place.

Gaius stepped in and scanned the room. He walked in, Arthur right behind him.

The room seemed perfectly normal.

Except when the bed by the fire came to view, with Merlin lying on it.

-He's _sleeping_?" Arthur said, sounding incredulous. He started to feel immediately irritated instead of worried. The prince let out a deep sigh and shook his head. -Unbelievable. Absolutely unbelievable! That lazy idiot_ skipped work_ just to get a nap."

Gaius loomed over Merlin, but didn't answer.

Arthur crossed his arms. -I swear I'm going to send him to stocks for this."

-It's alright." Gaius said, sounding oddly emotionless. -He has really been helping me, doing some research to the late hours. He has been working hard. It's no wonder he is so tired."

Arthur rolled his eyes. -Well, he could have asked a day off. This is ridiculous, I have a kingdom to rule and I have to run after my thick-headed servant..."

But something in Gaius' posture - slumped shoulders, the odd tune of his voice, his frozen spot - stopped the prince. He eyed Gaius more closely, but he had turned his back at the prince. _  
><em>

Arthur's eyes slid to Merlin. Then back to Gaius, and then back to Merlin.

There was something wrong with the picture.

Gaius wouldn't act like this if Merlin would be just sleeping. He would wake the idiot up and chew him out. But he didn't - he just stood there stiffly and didn't even flinch. _Alright. This is enough. There is definitely something wrong and you're hiding it from me. Whatever it is, I want to know right now._

-Gaius?"

-Maybe it's better if we let him sleep, Sire." the physician answered, but his voice was too controlled, too carefully formed. He sounded like a machine.

-Alright, I've seen enough." Arthur said as he walked next to the physician. -What is this about?" Arthur snapped. -You're hiding something and I don't like being lied to. I hope you have a good explanation to this, because otherwise..." but his voice trailed off as he realized one thing.

Arthur turned to stare at Merlin. Merlin's face was blank, and he seemed to be deeply aspleep because he hadn't even stirred, even if they were speaking rather loudly. _No wait._

_He is too still. _

A shiver went through Arthur. He turned to look at Gaius, and saw how the physician stared at his ward, eyes wide and hidden shock written all over his face. A lump started to form into Arthur's throat, and he felt anxiousness flashing. And anger.

-What. Is. Going on?" He pronounced every word clearly and angrily.

Gaius didn't answer. He was frozen, staring at Merlin like a statue.

Arthur swallowed and turned his head to his servant. Reluctantly, the prince grabbed Merlin's shoulder and shook him. Nothing. Merlin was like a rag doll.  
>-Merlin?" Arthur called and his voice was almost defiant.<p>

_Wake up, Merlin. And you'd better do it right now.  
><em>

Nothing. The prince glanced at Gaius and tried to shake his servant again, but nothing happened. No emotion or sign of any expression crossed his face. He was completely still.

Arthur swallowed his growing fear and shook Merlin once again. Nothing. His heart started to take pace,. Biting his lip, he slapped Merlin to the cheek. It had always worked before, even when Merlin had been knocked out during a battle. But now - there was nothing. Absolutely nothing.

-Gaius?" Arthur called, voice pitching higher.

The physician was still staring at his ward. -He is not dead, if that's what's you're wondering." he said blankly.

Arthur stared him mouth open.  
>-What's wrong, then?" he breathed out, hating the uncomfortable feeling that had settled into his stomach. Right now, he fought the urge to shake the physician and force some truths out of him.<p>

Suddenly, Gaius seemed to snap out of the trance he was in. He blinked and looked at Arthur. -He's fine." he said, sounding rather normal.

Arthur lifted an eyebrow. He really didn't know how to react to the physician's odd behaviour. But right now, it wasn't even important. He was feeling too anxious to care.  
><em>Concentrate.<em> -Well, why doesn't he wake up? He is not sleeping and I don't believe he has downed one of your sleeping draughts, either."

-No, he has not." Gaius said and sighed. He collapsed to the chair nearby, looking defeated. Arthur didn't like this at all.  
>-Well? What is it then?" he said restlessly, unable to control the slightly high pitch of his voice.<p>

-You're not going to like this, Sire."

Arthur crossed his arms and took a deep breath. -I'm not liking it right now either, so you might as well start talking."

A deep sigh. The physician avoided looking him into the eyes. -Fine, then...I'll start from the very beginning. All of this is entwined to the reports."

Arthur squeezed his hands into fists and raised an eyebrow. -I'm all ears."

A long, eerie silence filled the room. The happy rattling of the fire sounded odd compared to the serious atmosphere hanging in the air.

-First of all," Gaius started explaining, -Merlin is fine. And most importantly, he isn't dead."

The physician lifted his chin a bit. -He's in limbo state."


	3. Chapter 2

Hi!

It took awhile, but here is the second chapter. I'm really busy currently, so my update pace won't be as quick as it has been with my earlier stories, sorry.

But reviews are support. ;) They keep me writing. So please write me one, even if it's just a short one? Cyber cookies all around.

Story: Jetsam (Chapter two)

by: **Niphrehdil**

* * *

><p>It was empty.<p>

Merlin couldn't remember how he had gotten here or how much time had passed, but he was standing in Camelot's empty courtyard.

And it had never been this empty. Blue light and grey fog surrounded the ghostly sight, and it was eerily silent. Nothing moved. Nothing breathed. Nothing lived.

Merlin felt how he was faint. Faint like a feather, easily thrown into directions by the wind. He felt so light...outplaced. Like he was standing there, in the big marble stairs, but he really wasn't there.

Everything was odd. And yet so familiar. His mind was blurry - every time he tried to think clearly, his thoughts mixed into each other and all that was left was confusion.

He didn't feel anything. He didn't feel cold, or warmth. He didn't feel hunger or pain. He just was.

Well, his presence was filled with emotions. Confusion. Even a slight fear - Merlin knew he didn't belong here.

Even if he knew this was limbo, it didn't feel like it. It felt like the weakest dream you have just before you wake up, and you're not able to describe it afterwards. The more you try to remember, the more you forget.

Merlin was floating. He was...between. Between the real world and the normal rules.

Everything was blue. The light of the twilight time, when it's not completely dark and when it's not light, either. Something in between.

And this was _between._

Even if Merlin knew that he was in limbo, his mind started to play tricks on him. It felt like he had been sedated with several of Gaius' numbing potions: his thoughts were messy and they have lost their sharpness. Everything was dull: he wasn't afraid but he wasn't calm either.

Maybe the limbo wasn't like this when you were truly hurt or sucked into it by reason. Maybe this was how it felt like when you were a trespasser. Maybe because of it, Merlin found himself here, on Camelot's courtyard, and even the statue of a riding soldier seemed threatening.

Because this place was scary. Merlin wasn't easily spooked but there was something so unnerving in here that made him almost shiver - but he couldn't. There was no body that could feel shivering. There was just his soul - naked and bare soul, vulnerable to everything and yet he felt so strong.

It was him and his magic.

Merlin looked around. He tried breathing in the cold blue air - but he couldn't. All was left of him was his intuition and his mind. He let his eyes wander the stone walls and the fog - and there was something wrong in it.

He wasn't alone.

Restlessness crawled into his awareness. _Calm down. No one can you hurt you here. You just have to focus. You're trying to find answers._

Merlin knew he couldn't let go. If he let go of himself, he would be lost forever. That much Gaius had managed to tell him about this odd state - it was highly dangerous, risky, and should not be entered in any case.

Merlin's mind flashed the memory.

_-Have you any idea what could be going on in the villages?" Merlin had asked._

_Gaius had let out a sigh. -I'm working on it right now. Arthur's reports are very plain because the people that have reported them haven't paid attention to the right things."_

_-Right. So it means that this is a magical thing?"_

_Gaius had looked worried. -It seems so," he had added, more quieter. -But I haven't seen anything like it before. In fact, I have no idea what could be causing it." _

_There had been a long silence in the room, both of them had been in their thoughts._

_-Merlin," Gaius said, -All I can say that this is serious. Whatever it is, it has affected the nature and the animals. That kind of magic is dark and powerful, and it can shake the very balance of the Old Religion. One person can not weild such power. Not even you could."_

_Merlin had gasped, almost not believing his ears. -Well, does it mean that there are several sorcerers behind this?"_

_An old fire had burned in the physicians' eyes.  
>-That is the most disturbing thing. There is nothing that would suggest that. The people have gone mad, Merlin. They claim they see dead people."<em>

_Merlin had looked into the fire, a bad feeling in his chest aching. -Ghosts?" he said, almost whispering, and cold shivers ran through him._

_Gaius had been quiet for a long time. -I don't dare to say anything certain. But ghosts...spirits...or undead living. No matter what they are, it takes so much power and energy to control them or even call them that I fear for all of us."_

_Gaius' eyes had been filled with worry. -Merlin, even you couldn't do this. Remember Nimueh? He could raise Tristan de Bois, the black knight, from the dead. Morgause managed to enchant the knights of Medhir. But none of them could have even tried this."_

_Merlin swallowed. A dark atmosphere had hung in the air._

_-You know the rules of the Old Religion, Merlin. It's all about balance - life for a life. Even the most powerful sorcerers know this and hardly anyone has ever even dared to think about the possibility of laying their hands on it."_

_An ominous pause._

_-What's dead, should stay dead." Gaius had said darkly. _

_-Isn't there any way we could figure out what or who is causing it?" Merlin had asked._

_Once again, Gaius had been quiet for a long time. -There is one way we could observe the spirit realm. But I consider it dangerous and out of question."_

_Merlin had turned to look at him. -What is it?"_

_Gaius had looked suddenly paler. -We can not jeopardize the spirits to enter our world. If that happened, we could end up with the same situation that has been going on the villages. The only option is that we enter the spirit world." _

_Confusion lingered in the air. _

_-And that means dying." Gaius had finished. Merlin had blinked several times. -Dying? But..."_

_-Not in the 'traditional' way, of course. It can be done with a magical potion that lets the soul out of the body. Then the person is not really dead, but has entered the spirit realm."_

_Swirling thoughts. Then, a small question: -So, could the person be brought back alive?"_

_-Well, technically the potion just breaks the connection between the body and the soul. The soul goes to the so-called limbo state, where it's neither dead or living but something between. And naturally it belongs to both worlds, to our and to the spirit realm, so it can see and feel both of them at the same time."_

_-That doesn't sound so bad," Merlin had said with a slight, anxious smile on his face, even if a hint of fear had just crawled to his mind._

_Gaius' face had darkened. -No. Absolutely no. I already said that it is out of question."_

_Merlin had shrugged. -What's the worst thing can happen?"_

_Gaius had risen up from the chair, clearly upset. -You could end up dead. If something goes wrong - and it doesn't need to be a lot - you'll die. And I'm not taking the risk."_

_-But..."_

_-Merlin, I said _no_." _

The fog danced in slow circles. Gaius would be very angry when he got back. If he got back, that is.

But it wasn't important right now.

Merlin had the most vague feeling that he should be afraid, but he couldn't be.

He had to dig a little deeper, force himself to find answers. Merlin kept telling himself he was trying to help Arthur, trying to save Camelot and the people in the outlying villages. Gaius would understand that.

_Focus. You can't give in to this place. Remember what Gaius said, this is dangerous._

Merlin tried to focus. He couldn't just stand here, he had to do something. He tried to think how worrying the situation was.

All of a sudden, Merlin's mind flashed a memory of Arthur telling him about the reports.

_-I don't know. They're strange - in several villages, people have gone...mad."_

_-Mad?"_

_Arthur had looked confused. -Well...They claim that they see dead people. In matter of factly, people they have known before they have died. And...the people are talking to thin air, they stab strangers and some of them even have disappeared."  
>The prince had shook his head.<br>-And then there are the odd things that have happened all around in those villages - the kettle has suddenly gone and died, fishes wash up to the shore, birds fall from the sky. Some of the animals have just gone plain crazy and killed other animals and people."_

_Merlin had already then felt a growing bad feeling. -How is that possible?"_

_-I don't know, Merlin. I really don't know. Gaius suggested that it was a work of magic or then some kind of plague. And the worse part is that there seems to be no pattern at all. There are three villages that are located near to each other, and then some of them are miles away. Closest one is in the border of Cendred's kingdom."_

_Merlin had studied Arthur. He was the Regent, and the weight of the situation was clearly drawn to his features. He knew he asked the same thing everyone else did:_

_-What are you going to do?"_

_Arthur had looked exhausted.  
>-I don't know." he had said, looking defeated.<br>- What can I do? As long as I have no idea what is causing all this, I can't do anything to stop it. But all I know is that the villages have gone down, one by one, and it seems that whatever this is, it is coming nearer and nearer to Camelot."_

Then the memory was gone. Merlin blinked and gasped. Or tried - of course it didn't really happen. Instead, he tried to gather his magic, but it was distant. Like a curtain would had been pulled between him and his own magic.  
>It seemed ridiculous, because they were more or less the same thing, but...<p>

Suddenly Merlin heard a laugh.

Quickly, he turned around and saw a young woman standing further away, eyes on him.

She laughed, and her laugh was filled with joy and relief. Merlin's brows furrowed and he stared at the scene before him. He realized that the courtyard wasn't there anymore.

Instead, there was this massive forest around him. Merlin looked up to the trees. They were long, big and even a bit threatening. Merlin tried to look through them to see the sky, but all of a sudden they started shimmering.

Merlin gasped and looked down. This time, the laughing girl didn't look at him anymore. Instead, she was in a young man's arms, looking up with a gentle gaze.  
>They were clearly hiding - they kept looking around and whispering to each other.<p>

Merlin felt suddenly a bit embarrassed - he didn't know these people and he wasn't really even there, but still - it felt akward to watch.

They kissed several times. Then, distant shouts and screams could be heard. And the barking of dogs. Suddenly both of them were scared, even panicked, and the woman sent the young man running.

When he had started to run, the girl started to cry.

Merlin looked at the scene in confusion. Then the edges of his view started to shimmer again, and the blue light bulged into strange angles.

It was like water's still surface that had been broken.

Then, Merlin's eyesight focused again. This time, he saw the same young woman standing in front of a grave.

She looked like a shadow of herself. There was no emotion on her face. She looked so much older, and her clothes were black.

Merlin didn't need much imagination to guess what had happened, and felt instantly bad for her. Her story reminded him of Freya...

_No. Don't go into that. _

Merlin bit his lip and focused. All of a sudden, the scene changed again. The image of the courtyard flashed for a second, but then it was gone. Merlin startled when the girl was now standing right next to him.

-I need him." she hissed, angrily. -I want him. I will never stop loving him. I can not live without him. I want him back. I want him back."

Merlin looked at her, but realized she wasn't really looking at him. It was a disturbing sight, when she was almost touching Merlin. _She can't see me._

-I want him!" she said, partly pleading and partly defiant. Her desperate yell echoed in the air, and she disappeared into the blue air.

Merlin took a deep breath. He was alone again, and the courtyard seemed to be filled with steam. But then, the air shifted around him again and slowly, Merlin was able to make out a room.

-Mary, please, I can get the healer..." an old man said with a raspy voice, thin with emotions.

-No." A woman said with a weak voice, coughing. She was lying on a bed, and she looked very sick. -My darling, we have already shared 42 wonderful years. It is my time to go now." the woman, apparently Mary, said quietly to the man.

The man was about to cry. -But..." he whispered. -I can not let you go."

Mary smiled. -I'm old. Everyone has to die sometime, and now it's my turn. You have to..." her voice broke to coughes, -...understand that. Don't let the sorrow destroy you."

The man didn't answer. After a moment, the woman started coughing violently. It didn't stop, and soon she was coughing blood. The man became panicked and frantic. He started screaming for the healer, but no one came.

The scene disappeared quickly after that. Merlin felt helpless - he might have been able to help. Then again, he knew this wasn't real..._This is limbo. None of this is real. _

The courtyard surrounded him again. It's haunting emptiness seemed to be vibrating - it was so quiet and empty that it seemed omenous. The small scenes had gone and passsed so quickly that all that was left was confusion. Merlin tried to figure out why he had seen them - he had never seen those people in his whole life.

-Who are you?"

Merlin startled and turned on his heels. There was no one there.

Slowly, a shiver brushed his neck. Merlin straightened a bit and swallowed. The fog around him seemed to tease him, wrapping around his ankles as it was a long, blue snake.

He wasn't alone in the courtyard. And this time it was different - it wasn't like with the girl who had lost her loved one or the old couple. This was...disturbing. It crawled into his insides and Merlin sensed, even in this empty, odd space that it wasn't good.

He might be numb, but even he could feel this, sense that something was off.

-Who are you?"a voice asked again. Merlin turned around again, and startled when he found a woman standing few metres away. She was different than anything or anyone else before - she could clearly see Merlin. In fact, she was staring at him intently, studying him.

Her clothes were black with some purple mixed in. They were partly torn, and they looked heavy. She had dark hair which curled around her face. She looked confusing - her clothes and her features made her seem nice, but her eyes and the look on her face was...

They were tricky. Full of riddles. She was clearly clever and cunning. Yet, her lips curled into a small, crooked smile. It looked mocking and yet it looked...gentle?

-I asked you a question." the woman said. Her voice was soft...and yet it sounded cold.

Merlin tilted his head and squeezed his hand to a fist. The woman let out a huff.

-Well well, you are one of those, then." she said, almost cooed.

Merlin had to furrow his brows - this was wrong. She was _wrong._ She looked real, and Merlin was suddenly certain that whoever she was, she was alive. She didn't belong here, even if she clearly did. She was like a piece of a puzzle that had been forced to fit its place.

Merlin lifted his chin. -Who are you?" he asked, mirroring the woman's question. His own voice sounded odd. It didn't even sound much like him.

The woman crossed her arms. -So you're saying you don't know who I am?"

-No." Merlin said carefully. -I don't."

She lifted an eyebrow, and suddenly looked dangerous. -Don't play games with me. You are neither dead nor dying. You don't belong here. Otherwise you wouldn't be able to see me."

Merlin's mind was swirling. _How could she know? _Merlin took a deep breath. He knew he had to lie. What did people say usually in here?

-I don't know how I got here." Merlin said, hoping it sounded believable. -I was climbing down stairs and I...think I fell."

The woman tilted her head and the blue smoke danced around her. -Come come. You can not fool me. Your body isn't broken and it isn't suffering from any pain. In fact," she said and started slowly walking, circling Merlin, -you died." she finished.

Merlin flinched and forced the rush of faint panic back. -No. That's not true." he said quickly.

-Oh, but yet it is. Because I know. I know these things, and you are most certainly dead. You got lost when you followed those poor people's memories. While you were here, your body gave up. You see, the body can not live for long without the...soul, or whatever you want to call it. I'm not that strict with terms."

Merlin felt the slight panic raising. -You're lying - I didn't die. I can get back."

The woman rolled her eyes. -Alright, fine. Then why did you bother coming here? This is not exactly some sunshine holiday, now, is it? No. You want something." She lowered her head so her eyes could drill into Merlin's. -A deal?" she suggested, voice sugary.

The sound of the last word echoed notoriously. Merlin bit his lip. -Is that what you do? Deals?"

She threw her head back and bursted out to laugh. -I'll do whatever I please." she said.

_So who are you? _Merlin started to get nervous. He knew he should be going back.

The woman looked around, and her slightly confused face turned into an amused one. -This is Camelot, isn't it? Quite a spot you chose, being such a landmark and all. I bet you are in Camelot, aren't you? Of course. You seem to have a logical mind. I've been here, you know. A very long time ago." she said, but suddenly stopped, like realizing she was telling too much.

-But that is another story. So, tell me, why is your memories of this particular courtyard filled with some tall blonde man? He looks like a knight."

Merlin's eyes widened and he drew air so quickly that it hurt._ Arthur. How on Earth can she know about Arthur?_

The woman narrowed her eyes. -He's in many of your memories. In fact, he is infecting them like a disease." she stated and eyed Merlin more closely.

Merlin felt the fear rising. He needed to get out. Right now. She was getting a hold on him, Merlin could feel it - and he couldn't let her know who he was. Or most certainly, why he was here or anything else.

Suddenly, the woman started to scare Merlin. This wasn't just some innocent, odd-looking illusion that was appearing in limbo. She didn't belong here. She was real, flesh and bone - maybe not in here, but somewhere else.

The limbo was a cold, empty and a dark place. Merlin realized it know - he was slowly being drained. The woman was draining his memories. Limbo was supposed to be neutral. The space between. Not good or evil. Like magic - it just was. But this courtyard, the ghost version of it - was radiating something that felt wrong.

Merlin started muttering a spell. The woman's eyes hardened immediately.

-Witchcraft?" she hissed, and her voice was venomous. Merlin closed his eyes and concentrated on the spell. Suddenly his felt a pressure at the back of his head.

She stared at him darkly, and she seemed concentrated.

-Gwen?" she blurted out. She was clearly digging Merlin's memories with a heavy hand. _I have to get out. Before she finds out more._

-Gwaine? Le...Leon? Will? Hunith?" she listed.

Merlin covered his ears and almost yelled the last words of the spell. It felt like the air would have been punched out of him suddenly, and he was spent spiraling down quicker and quicker.

The blue courtyard turned into ash and the woman disappeared out of her sight.

-Emrys?" she whispered, her voice high, as Merlin felt himself drawn to the world of familiar sounds and scents of Gaius' chambers. He was almost there, the limbo was getting further and further away...

-Emrys." her faint voice said, now smugly. It echoed in Merlin's ears when he crashed back to his body, drawing a shuddering, sharp breath and snapped his eyes open.


	4. Chapter 3

Hey!

I know, it's been over a week. It might not seem much, but I usually update quicker. But now I have a good reason: besides the fact that I'm terribly busy, my internet connection was down for a week. So I couldn't add this chapter sooner, even if it had been already finished.

Well, here it is, anyway. :) Tell me what you think. Reviews are much appreciated and they keep me going and updating.

Story: Jetsam (Chapter three)

by: **Niphrehdil**

* * *

><p>When Merlin's sight cleared, the first thing he saw was Arthur.<p>

Immediately, his hearing followed, and loud gasps filled his ears. Merlin quickly realized they were his own, so he tried to calm himself down. He swallowed for a few times and took some shuddering breaths.

He was shaking. It was weird to come back to the real world, when the limbo seemed like a dream even if he could remember it so vividly. Being slammed back to his body, to feel, to breathe...It felt so familiar but yet it was hard.

-Merlin?" Arthur asked, and he sounded both angry and worried.

Merlin swallowed again, blinked and turned to look at Arthur. He was sitting at the bed by the fire. The heat of the flames seemed somehow relieving - the way the warmth felt on his skin and how it rattled - it was all so real. So firm.

Not ghostly echoes of the real world.

-Merlin?" Arthur said again, now sounding even more angrier. And worried.

Slowly the reality formed back around Merlin, and he had to adjust to it, no matter how crazy that sounded. It took a lot of effort to concentrate enough, but finally, Merlin managed to comprehend that the prince was actually there, and this was real. And Arthur wasn't happy.

_Oh no. He wasn't supposed to find out any of this._

-Arthur..." Merlin mumbled back. He didn't like the way Arthur's jaw was tensed. He looked...somewhat furious. _He is going to kill me. Well...at least Gaius doesn't have to bother to do that, then.  
><em>

Merlin gathered his voice. -I'm.."

Slap. Merlin gasped for the surprise as Arthur's hand collided with his cheek and his head was thrown a little to the side.

_Did...did he just slap me?_

Merlin looked back, somewhat incredulous. Arthur was almost pale as a sheet, and he had a dangerous gleam in his eyes. He was faintly shaking. The prince wasn't angry - he was furious. And well - he hadn't hit that hard, it had barely hurt, and Arthur _could _punch the lights out easily from people...But still - had he seriously just slapped him?

-Did that wake you up, _Mer_lin?" the prince asked. His breathing came out in heavy breaths. -Or do I need to tell you incredibly stupid, irresponsible, selfish and dangerous this little trip of yours was?"

-You slapped me." Merlin mumbled back. He immediately shut his mouth when Arthur glared at him.

-First of all," the prince said, and he radiated frustrated anger, -you lie, both to me and Gaius. Then you start mixing some potions here which I believe you really don't have the profession to understand nearly enough. And thirdly..." he took a heavy gasp.  
>-...you send yourself into...limbo?" the prince said, and sounded disbelieving when he said the last word.<p>

Merlin could only stare back to the prince. He felt how a bits of guilt crawled into his mind. He hadn't planned this. He was supposed to go to the limbo, find some answers, and get back as quickly as possible.

The memory of the whole place and especially the scary woman still haunted him gravely. Merlin was still shaken by the way she had crawled her way into his head and to his memories. And most of all, how quickly she had found what she wanted.

She was dangerous. There was something unnerving in her. Merlin wasn't spooked easily, but the woman was unnatural, even if Merlin was magic and had encountered some very old and very rare magical things. He felt it in his bones, as the woman's odd, sugary but cold voice was painted to his fragile limbo memories.

_You need to tell everything to Gaius, but right now, concentrate._

Merlin's awareness slided back to Gaius' chambers and to the furious prince. Suddenly, Merlin started to feel a bit angry, too.

_I was only trying to help. I risked a lot when I went to the limbo to find some answers. Even if I skipped work, it isn't this bad. I've done it before and you've never gotten so worked up about it._

He sighed. -Arthur, I was only trying to help. Gaius has been trying to find something, anything, for weeks and there was nothing. He mentioned about this way, and of course he forbid it because it was..."

-Merlin." Arthur said very slowly through his teeth, like he was about to explode. He clearly tried to keep himself together, drawing deep breaths.

Merlin just shook his head. -Look, I'm sorry if I worried anyone or caused any trouble, but you have to understand..."

-Merlin." Arthur repeated, and now his voice was so tensed that it alerted Merlin. The prince had lifted a hand to the air and he was clearly struggling with his emotions. He lifted an eyebrow, and glared at Merlin.

-You were out for two weeks."

Merlin's eyes widened and he drew air so quickly that it made him cough. -T-two...two _weeks_?_"_

Arthur swallowed and his fury was now barely controlled. -Yes, two weeks, Merlin. Two weeks. Sixteen days to be exact."

_Sixteen days? How is that...How did I...How..._

Merlin stared at the prince, mouth open. -But I was gone for like...twenty minutes." he said with a small voice.

Arthur shook his head and he looked suddenly tired. He let out a sigh and turned towards Gaius' potion table, leaning on it with his both arms.

Merlin stared the prince's turned back with a shocked impression.

_That is not possible. I just saw two of those people's memories of how their loved ones had died, and then I was in the courtyard...And then I talked to the woman...And then I casted the spell...  
>It couldn't have been more than twenty minutes. Or half an hour. Nothing more.<em>

_But two weeks...I was out for two weeks?_

Merlin stared at the prince and realized why he had deserved the slap. He felt immediately guilty for worrying people. Hopefully Gaius had explained the situation to Arthur...because he had seemed somewhat dead. Really? Two weeks? It was unbelievable.

_Oh no. Gaius _is _going to kill me._

-Just so that you know, the plague or whatever it is has spread to Camelot." Arthur said quietly. A hot rush of anxiousness washed over Merlin, and a bad feeling settled in. -When?" he breathed out.

-A little less than a week ago. At least, that was the first time they were reported to me." the prince said. His voice was hollow and raspy, and he sounded exhausted, like he hadn't slept in days.

The weight of the situation had gone even more heavier, and it was all piled up to Arthur's shoulders. Merlin suddenly worried for him - he had been working so hard to find the cure or an explanation.

And he realized how careless his behaviour seemed now. _I totally earned the slap._

It was unnerving how Arthur seemed so tired that he had lost all of the usual fire he had. Merlin observed him, now feeling incredibly reckless for going into the limbo.

-How are you feeling?" Arthur asked very quietly, like it was odd to ask. Which it more or less was.

Merlin swallowed and answered quickly. -I'm fine." he said automatically, before he even started to think about it. He felt more or less fine - he was alive and most importantly - felt like it, too. Maybe he felt a bit lightheaded, but that probably was no wonder.

Considering he hadn't eaten anything in two weeks, he was spectacularly fine.

Arthur just nodded tiredly. -Good." He hesitated. There was a small silence. - I shouldn't have slapped you."

Merlin smiled. This was Arthur's kind of apology.  
>-I'm pretty sure I earned it." he replied cheerily. But Arthur didn't even smile. He turned to look at him, and he looked like he was slightly in pain.<p>

-I have to get back to the Court Hall." he said hollowly. Merlin's worry grew. Arthur was about to burn out if he kept going like this.

-You should rest, you know." Merlin suggested. He hesitated. -...Sire." he added, and it sounded a bit odd. Merlin used the titles so rarely nowadays. Even Arthur rose an eyebrow for that.

-Being polite or formal is not going to get you out of this that easily, Merlin." A flash of amusement filled his face for a moment. -You should've seen Gaius."

Merlin's face dropped and he swallowed loudly. Arthur let out a small chuckle, even if it was a plain one.

-He'll be here soon. He has been working almost around the clock."

_Just like you, then?_

Merlin sighed. -Arthur..." he searched for the words, as the prince looked at him. It wasn't the distant look that Arthur wore in official meetings and councils. The prince looked even a bit lost. For a moment, he looked just like Uther, standing there in the light.  
>-...you really should rest." Merlin said quietly, and looked away.<p>

Arthur didn't answer. They shared the silence for a moment. The prince sighed and he straightened.

-Don't expect I'll let you out of this easily, either, Merlin. We'll talk later." he said before he reached the door. He turned around once more.

-And don't even _think_ about doing this again."

Then he left the room.

* * *

><p>When Merlin had eaten and gotten up from the bed, he had to adjust back to the reality. It was strange - everything felt so normal and the limbo seemed like a dream: the details were vanishing quickly.<p>

Merlin also wondered how normal he felt - he thought it was rather disturbing that his body had survived so easily through two weeks on its own. It was a rather scary idea.

But there was something else.

Merlin sensed it when he walked through the corridors - people hung their heads. There were fewer people than in the morning - no, two weeks ago...

The plague. Or whatever it was, it was clearly affecting people. They were scared. Paranoid.

_I can't really blame them._

Merlin had tried to avoid Gaius the past few hours. He knew the physician would be angry but he had also a lot of work to do. Merlin hesitated - he knew he should be heading back to the chambers. So, even if an uncomfortable feeling lingered in his throat, he knew he would have to go through this sooner or later.

So, reluctantly, he headed back to the chambers. He opened the door and froze the second the room came into view.

A tall man turned around, clearly expecting someone, and looked confused when he saw Merlin. Merlin stared the man for awhile and realized he knew him.

_The king of Mercia, Lord Bayard._

He bowed quickly. -Sire." he mumbled. Merlin really hoped that the king wouldn't remember what had happened the last time they had met. But of course, the whole thing was hard to forget.

-Aren't you that serving boy who claimed that I tried to poison Prince Arthur?" Lord Bayard said with a tensed voice.

Merlin didn't really know what to say, so he just nodded. It was very akward - he had almost gotten Mercia and Camelot to a war because of Nimueh and the poisoned chalice. And he wouldn't be able to explain it all. Mercia and Camelot hadn't been in very warm terms after that. Arthur wasn't eager to talk about it; he always got quiet and avoiding when the whole poisoning was even mentioned. He didn't want to talk about it. Merlin didn't bring it up anymore, it was an unspoken rule. Arthur hadn't really been witnessing many of Merlin's near-to-death experiences, but the ones he had, he didn't really want to talk about them.

He seemed to froze everytime when they were mentioned.

-I see you are well." Lord Bayard said, but he sounded a bit bleak. -Are you still serving as the prince's servant? Well, he is the Regent nowadays, but..."

Merlin nodded again. The king was quiet now, and Merlin dared to look up. What he spotted behind Lord Bayard froze him.

A woman stood near to the bookshells, wearing a heavy black and purple dress. Merlin's heart skipped a beat and an icy shiver went through him - even his magic shifted restlessly. It was _her._

-I expected the Court Physician to be here soon." Lord Bayard continued, but Merlin didn't hear a word. The world had stopped around him. He stared at the woman who was partly turned away, and the position hid her face.

She was holding a book.

-Do you know when he will be here?" the king asked. Merlin just stared. Eyes wide, holding his breath. The limbo seemed to reform around them - just him and the woman who had so easily broke into his mind and his memories. The woman who wasn't most certainly dead but he wasn't the same kind of trespasser as he had been.

No. Merlin's magic was suddenly acting like a dog that had been suddenly hit with a belt: it had rushed forward, on alert, every sense and fibre on their sharpest, like violin strings in the verge of snapping in two.

She was...she was...she was unnatural.

-You hear me, boy? I expect such a peasant to show me some respect. Especially when we think about our short but...meaningful past together."

Merlin's world had gone into slow-motion. All that was in the room was her. And the dust that danced slowly around her, the way her heavy dress was sprawled on the floor, the way her dark hair looked in the light. How real. How flesh and bone she was, just like him.  
>She must have a scent. And she breathed. She was <em>real<em>.

Merlin had just seen in limbo about an hour ago, and there she was.

-Look at me, you disrespectful fool!" Lord Bayard said now so sharply that it snapped Merlin out of his trance. He blinked, let out a breath he had been holding and turned at the king.

Instantly he bowed. -I'm sorry, my lord. The situation has been stressful to all of us." he said quickly, hoping that the king would buy it. The woman hadn't even lifted her gaze up during their conversation.

Lord Bayard lifted his chin. He studied Merlin, and then tilted his head. -I changed my mind. I'll give you a task."

Merlin bit his lip. -What is it, Sire?"

-I will go to my chambers. And you will send the Court Physician to me instantly after he has arrived." he said and walked forward.

Merlin tried to stare at the floor as the king headed to the door. But he suddenly stopped right next to Merlin, not turning his head.

-And if you even dare to look at my ward Larva," the king said in a low voice, barely audible, to Merlin's ear: -...I'll make sure you will be punished in the worst way possible."

Then the king walked out of the room. -Larva, let's go." he said aloud before his steps got distant.

Merlin breathed in long gasps. In and out. In and out. It seemed that his ears were filled with the sound. He stared at the woman. _Larva? Larva. That is her name. _

The name had a bad echo in it. It sounded something that should ring some bell but it didn't.

The woman - Larva - turned some pages in the book. After a moment, she let out a huff.

-Medical science? How fitting." she said, and closed the book with one hand. It let out a rather loud sound. Merlin stared at her with confusion. Her voice was different. It was nothing like it had been in the limbo.

It was deep and soft. In fact, she sounded like another person._ Is it...is it really the same woman?_

The woman put the book back to the table. -I bet you have to have friends in high places to be able to cure all of the diseases they list in here." she continued, and let her hand brush the surface of the table as she walked around it. Slowly. Carefully.

-But..." she turned to look at Merlin, -...I haven't studied the whole subject much. I'm not in the position to argue about it." She let out a quick, empty smile.

But she was different. She looked...different. She was...different?

_It isn't her. Or is she?_

This Larva reminded the limbo woman gravely, but not completely. It was like...the kind of familiarity that you see among siblings or even cousins...But it couldn't be exactly the same person. Even if her clothes, hair, everything, was so similar...It wasn't the same.

She was so...real. She seemed so...normal? Not powerful. Harmless.

And harmless was far from the woman Merlin had met in limbo.

Larva eyed Merlin, and looked distant but polite. -I'm sorry, I shouldn't be bothering you here anymore." She let out a faint smile. -Everyone's busy right now."

Merlin stared at her in almost chaotic confusion. She seemed...nice. Which was a screaming contradiction.

Larva seemed to be akward when he didn't answer. She looked away, almost shyly.

-Um, I should be going." she said quietly, and started walking towards the door. When she passed Merlin, her scent flew by. It was deep and flowery. Sweet. Even if it had shades of more heavier scents.

_She is real. Alive and breathing. But she can't be the same woman. She seems so...ordinary, even kind._

Merlin's eyes were followed her to the door. There, she stopped and turned once more.

-Are you really the Prince Regent's manservant?" she asked, now acting like an overexited 5-year-old. Merlin's mouth cracked open. -Y-yes..." Merlin stuttered. He swallowed. -My lady." he added slowly. _If that's the right term. If she is really Lord Bayard's ward..._

Larva smiled quickly. -It must be fascinating. Do you know him well? I mean, have you ever talked to him outside of your chores?"

Merlin lifted an eyebrow. -Of course." he said, and when Larva's smile faded a little, he continued, trying to sound somewhat polite: -I -mean, yes, I have...talked with him." _This is weird._

He forced a smile. -My lady." he added again.

Larva let out a blooming smile. -That is really exiting. I mean, of course I've known Lord Bayard for almost my whole life, but...many people won't ever get this close to a royalty, you know?"

Merlin tried not to wince or lift an eyebrow. -No, they don't." Then he faked a smile again.

-Well," Larva said and opened the door, -I should be going. Thank you for the chat, uh...?"

-Merlin." Merlin answered automatically and instantly regretted it. He cursed inwardly. She might seem normal but she was still like a spitting image of the woman in limbo. He didn't trust her.

Larva smiled. -Alright, _Merlin_." The way his name sounded on her lips made a shiver crawl up to Merlin's spine.  
>-It was nice to meet you." she said with a wide, confusingly sincere smile and winked an eye.<p>

Merlin fought the urge to flinch. Then she turned away, her dress letting out a soft sound as she disappeared into the corridor.

Merlin stared at the door with glassy eyes.


	5. Chapter 4

Hey!

Here is chapter four. The chapters haven't been as fast-paced and action-filled as I'm used to write, but I've been aiming to build some things slowly.

My internet connection is working now, yay. :) Hopefully I'd be less busy some time soon so I could update more quickly. I'm just afraid that's not going to happen. We'll see, I guess.  
>By the way, I can't wait for season 4 to start! It seems it's been taking forever to start airing...<p>

Oh well. Let's get into the chapter.

Reviews are support and energy boosts and all good things like that. Want to write me one? Please do.

Story:Jetsam (Chapter four)

by: Niphrehdil

* * *

><p>When Gaius finally walked to the chambers, it was almost nightfall.<p>

Merlin sat next to the fire, eyes transfixed to the flames. He didn't even hear the physician coming. He was too deep in his thoughts, too lost in confusion and doubt. Everything seemed to be a mess. The limbo, the timelines, Larva...And Arthur.

Besides everything that had happened, Merlin worried about the prince. And it was hard to handle so much worry and uncertainty, especially when he had no idea what to do, or what to even think.

When Gaius dropped a heavy book to the table with a bang, Merlin startled away from his thoughts and turned around. When he saw the physician standing there, Merlin swallowed. Gaius' face was blank. Unreadable. It was a bad ability of his - he could seem completely emotionless no matter how he might feel.

Merlin hated that blank expression - it was never a good sign.

-Gaius." Merlin said and smiled carefully. -I'm awake." he commented slowly. There was a short silence.

-Oh? Is that so?" Gaius asked dryly and his eyebrow reached an impressive height. Merlin bit his lip. _I'm in so much trouble._

-Gaius, I know I owe you an apology. You told me not to use the potion and I did, anyway. It was dangerous and stupid." Merlin listed. -But..." he turned his gaze to the floor -...I had no idea that the time passes differently in here than it does in limbo. I thought I'd be gone for like twenty minutes."

Gaius' face darkened. -And you thought you wouldn't get caught, didn't you?"

Merlin bit his lip. -Well..." _It's better not to lie._ -...yes. But only because I knew you would try to stop me."

Gaius took a deep breath. -Merlin." he said slowly, clearly calming himself down. -Do you have_ any _idea what you have done?"

Merlin looked up. He was about to say he did, but the look on the physician's face stopped him. The words were left unsaid and Merlin just looked at him, unable to say anything.

-There was a reason I told you not to enter limbo, Merlin. The risk of getting lost and fading away slowly until your body would die is the least of them." Gaius said.

Merlin just shook his head. -But..."

-No, Merlin." Gaius said and eyeing him intently.  
>-What were you <em>thinking<em>? I think I made it perfectly clear that trespassers aren't allowed in limbo, not in any circumstances. You don't even the slightest idea what you put in stake. Not to mention that I had to explain to Arthur what was going on."

_Oh. Well, that explains how he knew the truth._

-And don't tell me that you're worried about him because he seems exhausted. He _is _exhausted, and sitting here by your side everyday for two weeks didn't really help in that."

Merlin looked up, surprised. -He...he was here?" His brows furrowed. -All the time?"

-He spent most of his time in councils, but yes, he came here every day for a half an hour or two."  
>Merlin felt touched by the prince's behaviour. It made sense now why Arthur had been there when he had woken up. And then, Merlin felt even more quilty.<p>

-But that is important right now." the physician said. Then he looked at his ward for a moment. Without a word, he walked next to Merlin and pulled him into a hug.

Merlin was so surprised that it took a moment before he responded.

-What am I going to do with you, Merlin?" He said, sighing. Merlin couldn't help but to chuckle. There was a small moment where everything was said and nothing was spoken aloud. The small gesture of affection summed it all up.  
>Then Gaius pulled away and sat heavily into a chair opposite of him.<p>

Merlin studied him. He had dark bags under his eyes. He looked old, much older than he was. Merlin felt how a small lump formed into his throat. Everyone was exhausted, worried and at loss what to do.

-Well," Gaius started, -what did you see?"

Merlin bit his lip and his emotions rushed forward instantly. The hollow feeling in his stomach appeared again.  
>-I saw...the courtyard. Camelot's courtyard. Except it was like the ghost version of it. Then, I was suddenly thrown into people's memories...I didn't know any of them. First, I saw a young couple in love. They weren't clearly allowed to see each other...But then the man died. The girl grieved him gravely. And the other memory, I saw an old couple. I think the woman, called Mary, was sick. She was clearly dying and his...husband I guess...was there with her. She started coughing blood and I think there was nothing that could be done."<p>

Gaius listened intently, eyebrow raised. -So there were no connection between these two memories that you saw? Except they showed you how those people died?"

Merlin's mind swirled. -Well, I didn't exactly see how that young man died. I just saw the girl visiting his grave." He could almost hear how Gaius' mind was working quickly. Emotions crossed the physician's face, as he concentrated on something.

-So, you saw the girl's memories, not the young man's?" Gaius said.

Merlin scanned everything he had seen. -I guess so. Why?"

Gaius looked confused. -She didn't die, right? It was the young man. So there should be no reason why her memories linger in limbo. If they were the memories of her loved one, then it would be understandble. But it doesn't make sense. She could not have been in limbo. Or then she has been gravely injured after that."

-You think..." Merlin searched words, -...she did something to herself?"

-Do you think she might've?" Gaius said quickly. Merlin's brows furrowed as he tried to remember. _She was desperate. Broken. But could she have..._  
>-She kept saying 'I want him back' ." Merlin just answered distantly.<p>

Gaius looked away for a moment. -Why did you see just those two memories? If you have watched them almost for two weeks, it couldn't have been unimportant. Limbo is also a rather personal space, it shouldn't throw random things at you..." the physician mumbled.

Merlin just took a deep breath. -But that is not the most important thing right now. What is that...I met a woman in limbo. And she could see me."

Gaius head snapped back at him. -Excuse me?" he said, tone suddenly much sharper.

Merlin didn't like the sound of it - not at all. His own bad feeling grew instantly, and all of his instincts said that he had been right, the woman had been dangerous. The atmosphere in the room had just gone heavy and dark. Gaius' eyes gleamed in the dim light. Merlin swallowed.

-I met her after I had seen the memories. At first, I couldn't see her, but then she appeared to me in the courtyard." He dropped the volume.  
>-Gaius, there was something very wrong about her. She was unlike anything else in limbo. She was...real. She was as real as me, I could feel it. And she was powerful. She started to dig into my memories, real memories. She named Gwaine, and Will, and my mother...She saw Arthur. And when I realized that she was going deeper and deeper all the time, I decided to escape. I cast the spell to get back, and she found out that I have magic and that I had used it to get into the limbo."<p>

Gaius' face darkened. -Did she found out anything else?" he said, voice low.

Merlin swallowed and his stomach turned unpleasantly. -My name. I mean, the one the druids use." he almost whispered.

Gaius' face twisted. His hands clenched into fists.

_That is not a good sign._

The air seemed suddenly heavy to breathe. -But the most disturbing is that when I woke up...she was here." Merlin said.

Gaius looked startled. -What?"

Merlin felt how the slight anxiety just fed itself all the time. -Lord Bayard is here."

Gaius nodded distantly. -Yes, to discuss possible solutions to the situation with Arthur."

Merlin's eyes were wide. -But he has a ward. He called her Larva."

Gaius mouth cracked a bit open. -Her? Was it her that you saw in limbo?"

-I think so. She looks almost exactly alike, but there are certain things that differ...Her voice is different and she doesn't look exactly the same. And she seemed nice when I met her this afternoon, but in limbo..."

Gaius rose up from the chair, and clearly tried to manage his thoughts. -Bayard has had a ward for years. If I remember correctly, she was thirteen when he took her into his protection. Larva...That was her name."

Merlin shook his head in disbelief. -That can't be her real name."

Gaius huffed. -It is. She was secretly laughed at because of it, but she had said that her mother had named her. And that she didn't want another name."

Merlin stared at him. -But...Larva? As an insect? Who gives a name like that to their children?"

Gaius threw him an odd look. -You are named after a bird. Don't slip away from the subject."

Merlin bit his lip for the retort. Gaius could be so sharp-tongued when he wanted to.  
>-I haven't met this Larva before. I remember her distantly from their first visit to the Court Hall three days ago."<p>

-Three _days _ago?"

Gaius lifted an eyebrow. -Yes. Lord Bayard seems rather protective over her. It is a bit strange, as they have never been close. Not until the few past years, I heard."

Merlin suddenly remember what task Lord Bayard had given him. -Lord Bayard told me to send you to his chambers right away."

Gaius sighed. -Of course he did." He swallowed and brushed his eyes, something he very rarely did.  
>He got up from the chair.<p>

Merlin stared at him, surprised. -Are you really going to go? Now?"

-Yes. I have to. He is Mercia's king after all. And maybe I'll find out something about his ward. We'll try to figure out this all out later on." Gaius said and walked to the door.

-And Merlin," he said, throwing a warning glance at him, -no visits to the limbo anymore. We are dealing with dangerous things and very powerful, dark magic here. You must be careful. "

* * *

><p>After two hours of continous confusion, worry and a bad feeling that Merlin just couldn't shrug off - he finally decided that he should meet Larva again. He was getting nowhere with his conclusions and the weak theories that he had been building.<p>

His meeting with Larva had just been so disturbing - not to mention he could still remember the limbo rather vividly.

So, even if Merlin felt himself reckless and maybe even a bit hasty, he stepped into the quiet corridors. Twilight time had settled, and the light was something between blue and brown.

Torches were lit, and a few guard stood at their post.

Merlin could almost taste the fear in the air - people were scared. Everyone watched over their shoulder. It reminded him about the times just before the battles, when people were all quiet - holding their breath before the strike. It would have been easier if someone would have just been really doing something, but this sickening wait and growing despair was worse. The crows sat on the gargoyles just outside the windows, like they would feel how the whole castle radiated uncertainty._ Maybe I shouldn't be even doing this. Maybe this just another bad idea.  
><em>

But then again, Merlin felt like he didn't have an option.

Gaius had told him where Lord Bayard was staying, and Merlin headed there. He really hoped Larva had another chamber, because he didn't want to meet Bayard again. He was walking rather quickly, but then something caught his attention.

He was just passing the great doors of the Court Hall, when he froze.

The door was open. Just a little, like someone had just gone in without opening it fully. Merlin's brows furrowed. There weren't any guards on the doors, which was odd considering he had always seen at least one guarding them.

Merlin eyed the door. He glanced at the direction where Lord Bayard's chambers should be, but hesitated. _Strange. No one should be in the Court Hall this hour. Not even Arthur...and there would be guards if he was here..._

He bit his lip - he had a hunch that this might not be a good idea. Then again, he was certain that if he didn't check, it would bother him.

So, slowly, Merlin reached the door and laid his fingers on the old wood carefully. He could see a small part of the hall from here - the blueish light bathed on the marble floor. Just a few candles were lit, but no torches.

_Alright. For better or worse..._

He pushed the door open. It squeaked and the sound echoed in the large room. The effect was rather loud and odd - the sound twisted into an odd angle.

Merlin stepped into the room, and the air felt immediately colder on his face. It was rather surprising, as he knew Arthur and the council had spent hours in here earlier. And the Court Hall had never been really a chilly place.

Ignoring the odd thought, Merlin looked around. The light was rather dim, the candles couldn't reach all of the corners. A shiver ran up Merlin's spine - the place looked rather ghostly. Which reminded him...

_No. Stop. Concentrate._

Merlin turned his head to the left, and froze. Just in front of the big paintings, stood a familiar form. The black and purple dress looked like ink on the floor's surface.

Merlin drew a quick, shuddering breath_. Alright. There is something wrong about her. Why is she, out of all places, in here?_

Right on that moment, Larva turned her head towards Merlin. The light of the candles pulsed back and forth, making the shadows dance on her face and on her dark hair.

-Merlin?" she said, sounding something between surprised and glad. Her voice echoed, and Merlin hated how his own name sounded, repeating in the room. Once again, it was confusing how much she looked like the woman in limbo, but then again, she didn't.

Larva had her hands behind her back, and she turned her head towards the wall.  
>-I was admiring all of the paintings in here. Bayard told me a thing or two about Camelot's history. We don't have so much art in Mercia. Shame, really."<p>

Merlin studied her carefully. He hated how his emotions took a dive into confusion once again. And doubt.

-Much of these are pictures of the previous kings. I heard some of them died in a battle, some were asssasinated. It's horrible, isn't it? I mean, think if something like that would happen to Bayard...or Prince Arthur."

Merlin's eyes hardened immediately and he straightened up. Anger flashed. _Did she just threaten Arthur?  
><em>Merlin tilted his head and bit his lip. She sounded so innocent and young, like she was simply naive. And Merlin hated how he couldn't tell the difference - was she innocent? Or was this all just a facade?

Larva shifted a bit, walking towards the next painting. Her heels and the suffling sound of her dress made the room sound like there were dozens of bats in it. Merlin drew a quick breath.

-Oh. Here is another one. Truly marvellous."_  
><em>

Merlin wouldn't take the risk that Larva was just someone innocent who had nothing to do with this. Enough innocent people have already died. So, no matter how hard it was, he was stuck trying to figure her out.

-It's fantastic. The way the artist has used all of the colours and the highlighting - impressive." Larva continued, sounding enthusiastic. Merlin's brows furrowed deeper.

-My lady," he said, carefully, -...may I ask why are you admiring the paintings so late at night?"

Larva turned her head and flashed a smile - that might have been just a little a bit too wide.  
>-I love art. I collect fine paintings, I have my own gallery for them back in Mercia. Paintings are fascinating...eternal - they have caught the moment. The people in them can be seen, even after years they have died."<p>

Merlin took a breath and nodded. -I see." he just said quickly.

-Don't worry," Larva said playfully, - the late hour and the precise time on the clock doesn't bother me." She paused to look at Merlin.  
>-I'm not scared of the dark."<p>

The dim light of the candles flashed in her eyes, and for a moment, she looked...She looked everything but naive, innocent or harmless. It was like she was playing with Merlin.

Then the moment was gone in a blink and she turned back to the paintings.

-I could stare at these for hours," she said, now sounding eager again. -They tell stories. About history. You can learn so much from life just by reading history, Merlin. Believe me, I know. I hated the whole subject when I was younger, but when I finally grabbed the dusty old books, I was hooked."

Merlin just stared at her. Confusion wasn't the right word for what he felt, because it was an understatement. _History?  
><em>It was like her every word could have a double meaning, a secret sharpness. Like she would indeed be testing Merlin, like the first moves on chess game.

-History and art...they're like magic." Larva said, and the last word was almost hissed.

Merlin flinched and looked away.

-Oh, right." Larva said after the sudden, deep silence. -I've read a thing or two about Camelot, too. Fortunately I happen to know that magic is banned here. I mean, magic is forbidden in some parts of Mercia, too, but healers are allowed. Like your teacher, the Court Physician would be." Larva said.

Merlin snapped his mouth shut. He wouldn't let anything slip. If she was trying to get more information, she wouldn't get it.

Larva glanced at Merlin and looked suddenly a bit startled. -Oh, sorry. I should have realized that magic isn't really something that you can chat about. It could kill you, right?" Then she let out a bubbling laugh.

The sound of it made Merlin feel a bit sick.

-Oh well, I won't be talking about magic again. At least, not around the Regent. He'd surely sentence such person to death." she said with a teasy voice.

Merlin felt how anger and frustration now bubbled inside his veins. -My lady," he said, his voice coming out a bit sharper than before, -may I ask what's the story behind your name?"

Larva lifted an eyebrow, and she looked immediately colder. She eyed Merlin, clearly not liking the question. But then she let out a small smile again.

-I've been picked on about it for my whole life." she said.

Merlin forced a smile_. I'm done being polite. _-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make it sound like that. I'm just curious."

Larva turned now towards Merlin and shifted her weight. In the weak light, she resembled the limbo woman much more than before.

-My mother named me." Larva said slowly. -She died when I was young. I was raised by other people before Lord Bayard took me to his care."

-I'm sorry to hear that." Merlin answered automatically.

-Don't be," Larva said, and sounded a bit...amused?  
>-I'm rather glad how I was raised." she said, lifting her chin proudly. Merlin looked at her, trying to understand if there was a hint.<p>

Then, suddenly, she walked towards the door, pass Merlin. -I think you are right, it's getting late. I think I've seen enough for today."

Just before she reached the door, she stopped. She laid her hand on the doorhandle and turned her head once more to Merlin.

She had a crooked smile on her face. -Most people laugh because I'm named after an insect. It's fine, I could have changed it to another one, something much more female and easier. A name that anyone could have, normal and nice. But what's the fun in that? A larva is just an insect going to metamorphosis. No one would have laughed at me if I had been named 'Butterfly', would they?"

The shadows of the candles danced on her face. Her eyes gleamed, like there would have been two embers in them.

She lifted her chin. -Besides, the name that we use doesn't really include everything we are. Or what we could be called. Right, Merlin?"

Larva let out a smile again, but it was different this time. Something in her posture changed, the way she looked...She suddenly reminded Merlin about Morgana, flashing a dark smile. She twisted her hand in the doorhandle, and for some odd reason, Merlin felt a sudden sting in his own wrist, quick and painful. Then it was gone, before he could even register it had been there. Like a sting of a needle that had sunk into his bone and then disappeared.

Merlin had barely time to even think about it, when she let go of the handle and continued:  
>-Sometime's you just need another point of view to things to understand." Then she pushed the door open, and suddenly half of the candles went out. A cold breeze brushed Merlin's skin.<p>

The room was very dark now. And cold. Something that it usually never was.

-My name...Larva." she said, her dark eyes flickering to his. -Try that in Latin."

Then, after flashing a bright smile at Merlin, she vanished into the doorway. Twice during the same day, Merlin was left staring at the door after her.

It was the moment he knew, for certain and without a doubt, that it was all just a play. A game that she was playing. He just wasn't sure how dangerous that game was. And oddly, it was like she was trying to scare Merlin.

It was really the time to act. The time to get into the bottom of this mess.

As Merlin left the Court Hall and headed determinedly to Arthur's chambers, he grabbed his right wrist distantly with his other hand. For no particular reason, it was now aching._  
><em>


	6. Chapter 5

Hey!

So here's chapter five. It's rather different than the previous chapters, but like I said (or warned) you in the beginning, there will be more to the plot than it seems.

About Larva's name, we will get back to it later on. :)

Also, I'd like to give my personal thanks to the user named 'Fate and Dreams Collide'. Her wonderful words and support made me feel so more confident about this story and myself that it's just amazing. Thank you!

So. Here's the familiar but so important request: please write me a review?  
>I love how some of you have theories about what's happening. :)<p>

Ps. Have you seen the new trailers and pics for season 4? I'm thrilled. Fortunately they air the season earlier than they were supposed to at first! I have two favorite glimpses in the previews: one is when I saw *spoilers ahead if you haven't seen the trailers and/or pics* the clip where Arthur tells Uther he has to go and a tear runs down his cheek. (I was able to make it out only in the video with better quality, not in the previous blurry ones) And then there's the pic where Arthur stands next to the horse they have lifted unconcious Merlin on and looks worried. Season 4 here, now, right? :D

Okay, end of spoilers. Now, let's get into the story.

Story: Jetsam (Chapter five)

by: **Niphrehdil**

* * *

><p>The guards outside Arthur's chambers seemed restless. They shifted their weight continuously, glanced around and none of them said a word.<p>

Merlin knew them, and he also knew they were friends with each other. Their silence seemed much more worse because of it.

When Merlin walked to the door, the guards barely looked at him. They saw Merlin dozens times during the day. He, Uther, Guinevere and the knights were the only ones who weren't questioned before they could enter. Actually, the guards were ordered to ask everyone why they wanted to see the Regent, but Merlin had concluded that the guards had just grown bored. They weren't really interested in which chore Merlin was doing when.

Merlin passed them and opened the door, without knocking, of course. The room was full of candles and the fire was rattling on the corner. Arthur was standing next to an open window, clearly deep in his thoughts.

Merlin closed the door and looked around. The place was confusingly clean - clearly someone else had taken care of it while he had been in limbo. It seemed weird somehow, too, because the slight mess just made the room feel much more lively.

-It's late, Merlin." Arthur said without turning his head.

Merlin sighed. -I know that."

-Well, why aren't you sleeping, then?" Arthur asked.

-Why aren't you?" Merlin replied rather sharply. The prince turned to look at him. Merlin almost startled - Arthur looked like a ghost of himself. He looked drained, like he had been just dragged out of a battlefield after fighting nonstop for three days in a row. Or a week.

The prince didn't, little surprisingly even, answer anything. Instead, he turned back to the window.

Merlin bit his lip. Distantly he flinched, too, when his wrist was still aching.

-There's no reason why you should be up all night." Merlin said. -The situation will be the same in the morning, so you might as well sleep."

-Says the idiot who spent two weeks sleeping." Arthur mumbled. Even his teasy words seemed tired, like they were automatic.

-I wasn't sleeping." Merlin corrected, and instantly regretted it. Arthur raised an eyebrow and glanced at him. _Don't get into the limbo conversation right now. That's the last thing needed here._

Instead, Merlin quickly drew a breath and said: -Do you happen to know anything about Lord Bayard's ward, Larva?"

Arthur looked confused, but answered anyway: -Well, not much. That Bayard took her into his care when she was thirteen or so. She is first time in Camelot now."

-Why? Why now?" Merlin asked, almost a bit too eagerly. Arthur eyed him suspiciously.

-Why do you want to know? Is there something you're not telling me?" the prince asked.

Merlin bit his lip for frustration. Arthur was irritatingly sharp, even if he was exhausted.  
>-No. I'm asking out of pure curiosity. I met her today. I'd just like to know something about her."<p>

Arthur hesitated for awhile, but then seemed to decide that the explanation was good enough.

-Well, Bayard talks about her all the time. Which...is quite strange because from what I remember, they were never close. There were even rumours some years ago that Bayard had wanted to abandon her during the coldest winter, to sent her into the wolves."

Merlin's mouth cracked open a bit, and a faint warning bell rang in his head.

Arthur shrugged. -But obviously, they seem to have come to terms about it." Then he was quiet, and Merlin knew that if he tried to ask something more, Arthur would realize that this wasn't just curiosity. And if told the prince why he had suspecter her, it would get much more complicated.

So, reluctantly, Merlin looked around and noticed that everything was already put to place for the night. There was nothing to do, no chore left. _Yet Arthur hasn't told me to leave._

Merlin felt himself useless, just standing there. But then he spotted the table that was full of papers, aside with a wine carafe. In his thoughts, he walked next to it and started gathering the report papers that were sprawled on the table.

Arthur didn't say anything. He just stood there quietly, like a statue.

Merlin just sighed - why couldn't the prince just get some rest? He wasn't some machine that could go on endlessly, even if Arthur seemed to think so once in a while.

Shaking his head, Merlin grabbed the wine carafe and pulled it up from the table. The second he did, agonizing pain hit his right wrist and with a yelp, his fingers just slipped.  
>The carafe hit the floor with a loud breaking sound, and the red wine splattered all over the floor. Millions of pieces of broken glass filled the floor tiles, partly turning red now.<p>

It all happened so quickly that Merlin just froze. He froze to stare at the floor, heart thundering for the fright, and a bad, very bad feeling spreading coldly into his chest.

He could hear distantly how Arthur turned around and cursed how clumsy and idiotic he was, but stopped after a moment.

Merlin couldn't see anything but the wine. And the pieces of glass. He was frozen to feel anything, to hear anything.

He was completely still.

-Merlin?" Arthur's distant voice asked. Now a bit more worried and less angry. It was careful and he was clearly getting closer to him. Seconds passed. Merlin was holding his breath. And yet his heart still thundered loudly.

-Merlin?" Arthur asked again, and now it was something between confused, worried, frustrated and careful.

The prince was standing right next to him, that was Merlin sensed through the haze.

-Merlin, this isn't funny." Arthur said. -Hey," he said and nudged Merlin a little to the side. Instantly, Merlin's instincts rushed forward and he drew a quick, shuddering breath. He closed his eyes for a moment and then turned to look at Arthur, eyes wide.

Arthur eyed him and looked somewhat confused. And worried. -You shouldn't drop things, Merlin but it's not _that_ bad." he said, brows furrowed.

Merlin could feel how the colour drained out of his face, how he started to feel dizzy.

Arthur seemed to notice it too, and he got serious. -Merlin? What's wrong?" he asked slowly and clearly, raising his hand into mid-air, ready to catch his servant if he fell.

Merlin wasn't able to form words. He was just locked_. Gaius...I need to get to Gaius. Now.  
><em>Those were his only coherent thoughts, and he tried to follow them. With shaky steps, he turned towards the door.

After the third step, his knee gave in, but fortunately Arthur was quicker.  
>He caught his servant and almost lifted him up to the chair nearby.<br>-Sit there." he ordered, voice suddenly harsher. -It's not the time to be a girl, Merlin. No fainting." he said.

Merlin had trouble to focus his eyes on the prince. The room was spinning. Round and round...

He couldn't hear the prince's word anymore. His ears were ringing and black spots danced in his eyes. He was quickly diving into the blackness, before something yanked him back.

Merlin blinked several times to realize Arthur had slapped him to the cheek._ Twice in a one day... _The prince stared at him intently. Merlin blinked again and felt slowly how his awareness flooded back.

-Now, what the hell is wrong with you?" Arthur asked. Even he looked a bit startled.

Merlin took a quick breath, but wasn't able to say anything. Instead, he looked down to his arm and his right hand. Arthur followed his gaze and suddenly took a sharp gasp.

-How did you..." The prince shook his head and reached his own hand toward Merlin's, but didn't dare to touch.

He looked up to Merlin, and now he was serious. -How on Earth did you manage this? _All _of your fingers..."

Merlin looked at him, unable to understand. Arthur clearly waited an answer, but realized he wouldn't get it. -They're...they're all broken." Arthur breathed out, staring at Merlin's twisted hand.

Merlin held his breath again. It just hurt _so much_.

-Did you break them somehow when you lifted that carafe up?" Arthur asked, sounding disbelieving. Merlin just looked up, feeling dizzy again. He wasn't able to look down at his own hand, where the fingers have snapped broken from the middle joint. They were all sticking up now in an unnatural angle.

-Gaius..." he managed to say.

Arthur nodded. -Of course."

-No." Merlin said. He suddenly realized that Gaius was with Lord Bayard. -He's...he's not there. You...can do it." he said, fighting against the pain.

Arthur shook his head. -No, Merlin, I'm not twisting them back."

-Have done it before..."

Arthur shook his head again. -That was only one time and one finger. Gaius is a physician, he knows what he's doing. Now come on. Can you walk?"

Merlin wanted to say no, because he didn't want to move an inch. Even a small movement caused the hand to flare up in pain.

Arthur sighed and rolled his eyes. -I'm not going to carry you. It's still just the hand - I have fought with a broken arm."

Merlin shook his head and huffed in pain. -It's different." he breathed out.

-No it isn't. Now come on, Merlin, let's get you to Gaius. Before you faint again."

Merlin decided it was best to try to delay. -Didn't...faint."

Arthur rolled his eyes. -Yes you did. Or do you often fell forward until you hit someone's shoulder?"

-Yes." Merlin answered stubbornly. They had suddenly fallen into their old habit of teasing each other. It was rare nowadays, when Arthur was the Regent and they had so much worrying or big things on their hands. Immediately when something like this happened, old habits kicked in.

Mercilessly, Arthur pulled him up to stand.

Merlin couldn't really remember a thing from the way back to Gaius' chambers. He had walked - that was what he knew for sure, but how much Arthur had had to aid him was another thing. The prince had sent one of the guards to get Gaius - and because of Merlin's odd rambling, Arthur told the guard not to mention it was about Merlin. Merlin kept mumbling that Lord Bayard hated him so much already.

The next thing Merlin realized was Gaius sitting next to him and taking a grip from his wrist.

-Fingers just don't break on their own, Gaius." Arthur's voice said distantly.

Gaius was silent, but he had a dark look on his face. He looked like he couldn't agree more, staring at the still very broken fingers in Merlin's right hand.

Merlin blinked and Gaius noticed he was awake. Their eyes locked, and the physician looked suddenly angry.

-I'm sorry," Merlin said, almost automatically, with a hoarse voice.

Gaius took a deep breath and shook his head. -Don't be. There's no reason to."  
>Merlin sat up carefully and stared at his own hand, feeling a bit sick and dizzy when he saw it. But surprisingly, he didn't feel any pain. Just when he was about to ask, Gaius started to answer:<p>

-I gave you something to numb the pain. But unfortunately, I won't twist them back until the potion has faded. And before you ask why, I can tell you the answer: I need you to feel your fingers so I know they're on the right place."

-So they're dislocated or broken?" Merlin asked, biting his lip, not really eager to know.

Gaius sighed. -They are all dislocated except your thumb. I'm actually more worried about your wrist."

-What about it?" Arthur asked sharply and walked closer. He looked frustrated and tired.

The physician threw an odd glance at Merlin. -There seems to be a small fracture in it. It will be rather painful after the potion wears off. The fingers might ache a day or two, but this will heal for weeks, even a month."

Merlin looked carefully at the physician, and then Arthur. The prince looked disbelieving. Gaius looked at Merlin such way that told him there was more to this. So, even if his head was still rather dizzy, he realized that Gaius knew something he didn't want the prince to know.  
>And Merlin could already feel how a bad feeling and anxiousness started to settle in. And he guessed that it had something to do with the plague or whatever it was. Suddenly Larva's words flashed in his mind. <em>-Try that in Latin."<em> He needed to ask Gaius what her name meant. And he had to tell about their conversation overall...

-Did you hurt your wrist? Why didn't you say anything?" Arthur asked, crossing his arms.

Merlin was drawn back to the situation and he sighed. -I...don't even know what happened." _Well, that's at least true._

Gaius tightened his grip on Merlin's wrist a bit, but Merlin couldn't even feel his fingers.

-You need to rest, Sire. I can take it from here." Gaius said to the prince before he had the chance to continue asking questions.

Arthur glanced at the physician, then Merlin and his bad-looking hand. -Are you sure about that?"

-Yes, Sire. It's not the first time I've put this boy back together again." Gaius said, and his dark tone surprised everyone, even Gaius himself who seemed to notice the hint he had just thrown. Arthur's brows furrowed and he stared at the physician's turned back.

Merlin bit his lip for the short, tensed silence. Merlin could already hear how Arthur would ask _'what's that supposed to mean?'.  
><em>-Thank you for getting me here, Arthur." he said quickly. The prince nodded distantly and seemed to be distracted.

Merlin once again noted how ghostly Arthur looked like, exhausted and drained.

A knock interrupted the silence.

-Sire?" a guard asked from the door.

-Yes?"

-The knights have just returned from their patrol. I was told to inform you this immediately." the guard explained. Arthur tilted his head.

-Who gave you this order?"

The guard's eyes slid from Arthur to Gaius and then back to the prince. - Sir Leon did, my lord. He says one of them needs medical treatment and will be brought here soon."

Merlin didn't miss the worry flashing on Arthur's face. -Do you know which one of them is hurt?" the prince asked sharply.

The guard shook his head. -No, unfortunately I don't, Sire."

-How badly is someone hurt?" Merlin asked the guard, even if he didn't technically have the authority to do that. Arthur didn't seem to mind, though. Obviously he had been about to ask the same question, too.

The guard clearly tried to remember. -Well...They were saying something about bloodshed. That's all I know, Sire."

_Oh no. Bloodshed...?_

Arthur nodded. -Dismissed." he mumbled and turned towards the fireplace, and the guard disappeared from the door. Merlin felt how worry started to make his stomach clench. The knights usually got back from patrols with only few scratches. It was horrible to know some of them had been injured. It was even worse not to know who it was.

Merlin glanced at Arthur, but the prince stared at the fireplace, fists clenched. A heavy atmosphere had just landed into the room. Gaius was clearly thinking fast. -Sire, would you mind holding Merlin's hand up for a moment? If I have to treat bleeding wounds, I need to prepare."

-I can hold my own hand up." Merlin commented. The situation could soon be serious, but he still was a bit offended by the way he was treated like a five-year-old.

-No, you can't. If you haven't noticed, Merlin, your other hand is also numb. You won't be able to hold anything." Gaius paused and turned to the prince. -I'm sorry when I have to ask this from you, Sire, as it isn't the Regent's job to hold injured hands. I can ask someone from the kitchens to help in here..."

Arthur shook his head. -Gaius, it's fine." He looked even rather amused. Merlin couldn't help but to chuckle, when Gaius traded places with Arthur.

-Look who is not acting like a prat." Merlin said as the prince took a careful grip from his injured wrist. Arthur glared at him. -I would be careful with my words if I couldn't use my hands."

Merlin fought the urge to roll his eyes. But the growing worry for the knights washed all of it away. Gaius was walking around the room, picking some herbs, gathering some bandages and all such things.

Merlin felt himself rather useless, sitting there with Arthur, who was holding his bad-looking hand up in the mid-air. The numbness felt weird, because Merlin could hardly even feel the prince's fingers. But the hand was the last thing he was thinking right now. He was already building the worst scenarios possible of what had happened to the knights.

-Sire." Gaius suddenly said after some long minutes. -If the injury is severe or needs much work, I won't have the time to put Merlin's fingers back together in a long time, perhaps even hours. Now, I happen to remember that many years ago, I taught you how that is done, Sire. I know it's a lot to ask something like this once again, but..."

Arthur gaped at the physician. -Me? Do you want _me_ to put his fingers back together?"

Gaius sighed. -Only if there is no other option. The numbing potion wears off about in half an hour, and that's when the finger should be replaced."

-Well, can't it wait? I mean, they're still just fingers..." Merlin started, too.

-No. It _can't_ wait, Merlin. If the fingers aren't put back soon, a blood poisoning will slowly start to take place. And that's the last thing we need right now."

There was a silence. Arthur eyed Merlin's fingers with a wary look for a long time. Then he sighed. -Only if I have to. But I won't guarantee that I'll get them right."

-Great." Merlin mumbled, and noticed that the numbing potion was already wearing off a little. He bit his lip.

-Isn't there any other physician's in Camelot beside you, Gaius?"

Gaius continued to gather books and herbs. -No, I'm afraid not. Three of them are working in the outlying villages, trying to figure out what's causing the people to go mad. The fourth has...caught the plague...or whatever it is."

-Fantastic." Arthur retorted.

After a heavy silence and minutes that felt like hours, they started to hear some distant shouts from the corridor. Merlin could tell they were the knights. His heart took pace as he tried to listen who were talking. Sir Leon was the first one to arrive to the door. He was covered in dirt and blood, which was clearly not his own.

-Gaius. Sire." he greeted quickly and pushed the door open. Then, Elyan, Gwaine and Percival came into view. They were all partly carrying, partly dragging a pale Lancelot between them. His chainmail was soaked in blood, and it was clearly fresh. The knights brought him to one of the beds and laid him down. Gaius rushed forward to inspect the wound.

All of the knights looked dirty, tired and beaten. They stepped back to let the physician work, and their faces were worried and serious. There was something else, too - something Merlin hadn't seen before. They were acting...strangely. None of them said anything to each other, everyone avoided eye contact.

Arthur clearly wanted to ask questions from his knights, but was stuck with holding Merlin's hand up. Sir Leon, however, walked next to him and bowed his head. Little pieces of dirt fell to the floor from his hair.

-Sire." he breathed out.

Arthur nodded and scanned his knights with his eyes. -What happened?"

Leon looked instantly away and his face hardened. -It's...it's takes a while to explain all of it."

-What happened to Lancelot?" Arthur asked sharply, and all of the other knights glanced, wide-eyed, to Leon.

Leon bit his lip. -He was stabbed." he answered. The heavy silence of the other knights made the words sound somehow even worse.

Before Arthur had the chance to ask anything more, Leon swallowed and said: -I'm sorry Sire, but I wish to give you my report about our patrol in private."

Merlin almost flinched - that hadn't happened ever before. The knights had become close friends, and Arthur always talked to them equally. Even if Leon was the head of the knights and he had technically higher status than the others, he had never used it before.

Arthur eyed Leon, then the others. Unnatural tension lingered in the air. Everyone stared the floor, avoiding the prince's eyes. The small sounds of Lancelot's ragged breathing and Gaius movements highlighted the deep silence.

-Fine. You will report to me after an hour." Arthur said with a careful tone. Sir Leon nodded humbly. -And send here someone who knows something about treating wounds. It doesn't matter who it is. After that, you can all go and rest." The prince said.

_This feels so wrong. They've never been this formal with each other._ _There is definitely something off._

The knights nodded and left the room quickly. Merlin breathed slowly in and out, trying to get a glimpse of Lancelot. The pain in his hand was getting worse. It was aching now, and no matter how much he tried to fight it and tell himself that Lancelot was far worse hurt than him, it got more and more painful.

Soon a maid arrived to the chambers, and informed Gaius that she knew the basic things about wound treating.

Merlin bit his lip as the pain grew and he started to feel Arthur's fingers around his wrist. He hated how he could feel how the colour started slowly to drain out of his face and how he felt more and more dizzy all the time.

Arthur had been watching Gaius working for the past twenty minutes or so, when Merlin had no other choice but to open his mouth. -Arthur...I think that will take more than a half an hour."

The prince turned to look at Merlin, and was clearly surprised how quickly his servant had gotten worse. Arthur glanced at his fingers and looked reluctant. Then finally, he clearly prepared himself.

-Alright. I will have to twist them back one by one." the prince said, and he didn't sound as sure as his own words. Merlin couldn't suffocate the small anxiety forming a lump into his throat.

-I will start with the forefinger." Arthur mumbled and took a grip from it. Merlin yelped automatically, as the touch made his hand flare up in pain. Arthur locked eyes with him.

-I'm not any more eager to do this than you are. But it seems I have to do this anyway. So no fainting, Merlin. I know this will hurt but only for a short time." He took a breath. -Are you ready?"

-No." Merlin answered and wanted to pull his hand away.

-On three." Arthur said, took a grip from his forefinger. -One...Two..."

Merlin closed his eyes tightly.

-Three."


	7. Chapter 6

Hey again!

I finally had the chance to update a bit sooner than I thought. :) So, it's time to get Merlin's fingers fixed.

Please review? :)

Story: Jetsam (Chapter six)

by: **Niphrehdil**

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><p>Merlin had experienced pain several times in his life - he had been punched, poisoned, kicked, knocked out, beaten, hit with an arrow and thrown with countless objects. But the pain that shot throug him as Arthur pulled his finger to its place was almost paralyzing.<p>

An awful crack filled the air. The room spun around, and Merlin wasn't sure had he screamed out loud for the pain. Even if he could now feel that the finger was on its right place, it just_ hurt_. Not to mention his other fingers that had flared up in hot pain when the hand had been moved.

Merlin tried to calm his own unsteady breathing down. He felt dizzy and sick. Why did the fingers had to be dislocated? If they were broken, he could just down some numbing potion and that would be it. But no, of course they had to be pulled back while he was awake and very much able to feel all of it.

-Merlin?" Arthur called. He sounded surprisingly quiet. Merlin blinked several times and tried to ignore the pain. He soon noticed that Arthur was pressing his free hand to his shoulder, and Merlin realized he was leaning heavily against it.

Slowly, he forced himself to sit up again. He bit his lip. The prince eyed him carefully.

-The forefinger's fine now. The middlefinger is the next."

Merlin shook his head. -W-wait." he breathed out and had to swallow to gather his voice. -Not yet...Give me a moment."

For Merlin's surpise, Arthur just nodded without arguing. Instead, he glanced back to Lancelot's direction. Gaius and the maid were doing their job in silence.

Merlin felt nauseous. It was like his hand would be burning. The fingers sticking up in odd angles just made him feel even worse. He had to close his eyes for a while to stop the dizziness taking over again.

In any other situation, he might have thought that this was rather ridiculous. He was in the brink of fainting all the time just because of his fingers. It didn't even make any sense how they had gotten dislocated in the first place. And Lancelot was far worse hurt than he was.

And Merlin was worried for him and the other knights' behaviour. And he still hadn't figured Larva out, or told Gaius about their last conversation. And out of all people, Arthur had to be the one who was yanking the fingers back to their places.

Merlin felt, all and all, miserable. He really didn't want to faint, or Arthur would never stop calling him a girl. _Well, not like he wouldn't do that anyway.  
><em>But right now, it wasn't the problem. The prince wasn't teasy anymore. He was serious, clearly disturbed by the knights and the odd happenings in the evening. The atmosphere in the room was heavy.

Arthur turned to look at him again. -Ready?" he simply asked.

Merlin bit his lip and wanted to say no - what he really wanted was to come up with some healing spell that could fix his fingers far less painfully...But he was terrible with healing spells. And he couldn't exactly use magic while Arthur was practically holding his hand.

So, reluctantly, Merlin nodded. -But Arthur," he said hastily, -...please don't count. It makes it even worse." Arthur nodded, looking rather sympathethic.

There was a silence. Few seconds, that felt like hours, passed. Merlin wanted to look away, but he kept his eyes stubbornly on his right hand. Arthur took a firm grip on the next finger and Merlin suffocated a yelp.

Then, he pulled. This time, Merlin had to cry out. A sickening crack synched him as the paralyzing pain shot through him in waves. The room blurred into a mix of colours and even if Merlin sensed he was falling forward, he couldn't help it.

When he hit Arthur's shoulder, it forced the awareness back quickly.

Merlin just felt so sick he wanted to bury his face into the prince's shoulder, no matter how weird it normally had been or how awkward it would have made Arthur. He just wanted the pain to stop.

Distantly, he thanked his luck that Arthur wasn't wearing an armor or chainmail, because that would have left a bruise to his forehead.

-Merlin? Are you awake?" Arthur asked with a careful tone and nudged him a little. Merlin let out a moan as he slowly tried to pull himself back to sit. -Unfortunately, yes..." he mumbled and tried to blink, but the room spinned sickeningly and he fell forward again, only to collide miserably with Arthur's shoulder for the second time.

The prince sighed. It had a hint of worry in it. -There's only two fingers to go. You're on the halfway already."

-That doesn't help at all." Merlin mumbled and tried to pull himselt to sit. This time, he more or less managed to balance himself. Adrenaline pulsed through his veins, and Merlin was sure it was the only thing keeping him concious. He felt sick, disoriented and miserable. His ears were ringing distantly and the worry for the knights was present as a constant pressure on his chest. He felt cold, and that was odd, because the room was rather warm.

Merlin just hated this. He hated how dangerous the whole situation had turned into, only in two weeks. He hated how exhausted Arthur looked, how Gaius was working around the clock, how quiet Lancelot had gone on the other side of the room and he hated the pain that ached, pulsing it to everywhere and making it hard to stay focused. And he hated Larva, her confusing behaviour and enigmatic words.

-Ready?" Arthur asked once again and this time, Merlin kept quiet. _No, I'm not ready, but I know this has to be done._

-Arthur..."

The prince glanced up. He looked so much more lively while there were no members of the council around, or the messengers or the guards. He was...just Arthur. The way he was, in the moments when he wasn't the Regent. Merlin had an odd thought - it was rather crazy that the future king of Camelot and the current ruler was pulling his servant's dislocated fingers back to their places, and not even complaining. _Not being a prat._

It was the moment Merlin realized how much Arthur had changed from the day they had met on the market place. How much more he was a king than an arrogant prince.

Merlin let out a weak smile. -Nothing." he said. Arthur lifted an eyebrow. -That worries me more than the fainting. Did you hit that thick head of yours?"

Merlin chuckled and shook his head. -No. Just...thanks."

-For what?" Arthur asked, and he did sound puzzled. Merlin sighed. -For the fingers."

The prince rolled his eyes. -I wouldn't be thankful if I were you. That's the last thing I'd feel. This must hurt like hell."

Merlin had to wince. -It does. But...you wouldn't have to. I mean...you're the Regent."

Now Arthur looked really confused. -What has that anything to do with this? Gaius would do this if he could. Leon is the only one who has put a shoulder back to its place before, but that didn't really go too well. And I bet he is rather tired."

There was a tensed silence. Both of them were drawn back to their concern for the knights. Merlin shifted slightly, careful not to move his hand._ It's for the best if we don't talk about it right now._

-Why didn't it go too well? I mean with Leon and the shoulder?"

Arthur blinked and was interrupted from his thoughts. -He...he managed to yank it but it didn't go back to its place. He had to do it three times to get it right."

Merlin paled even if he didn't want to, and swallowed. -Alright. Then...please get it right on the first try."

Arthur mumbled something back, but Merlin didn't pay attention. The prince took the next finger and without a warning, he pulled.

This time, Merlin didn't even cry out. He just froze, forcing himself to stay upright and stand the pain. He pushed the dizziness back and calmed his own breathing, slowly but surely. It took a moment but he managed to get through it.

Arthur stared at him intently. Merlin blinked several times. The adrenaline was dying out. The pain started to get worse and worse. -Alright. The last one then." he said quickly. _Before I pass out._

-Are you sure?" Arthur asked and the light of the fire reflected on his eyes.

Merlin just nodded, biting his lip. The little finger can't hurt that much, right?

For the last time, Arthur pulled. A cracking sound followed. Merlin gritted his teeth and stayed quiet, the pain bolting in his body. He fought back to the dizziness as well as he could. He swayed on his place, trying desperately to cling onto his eyesight which was currently a blurry mix of lights and colours.

Merlin squeezed his now-fixed fingers a bit, but it was a very bad idea - they did move, but they also protested violently for the movement. An agonizing wave of icy pain washed over.

-Arthur." he stated, remembering the prince was still opposite of him. Then, he gave in to the pain and fell forward.

* * *

><p>It was dark. Merlin had to blink several times to make sure his eyes were open, but they were. The room just was pitch black. He took a breath and realized he was lying down. Merlin had to wait so all of his instincts adjusted back, before he could be sure where he was: in his own room.<p>

He felt incredibly sharp considering he had just woken up. Merlin tried to remember how exactly had he ended up here when he couldn't remember going to bed. Then it all hit him with a bang, all the way to his dislocated fingers and Arthur pulling them back to their places.

Merlin cursed inwardly - obviously he had fainted, no matter how much Arthur would tease him about it later. Maybe it wasn't that bad though - he had gotten through the most of it fine.

Carefully, he twitched his fingers a little. The movement sent a dull ache throughout them, but it didn't really hurt. Merlin let out a relieved breath and thanked Gaius beforehand for giving him a numbing potion. Also, his hand was wrapped in bandages, the thickest part around his wrist.

Merlin sat up, only to notice he had clearly been given a sleeping potion as well. He knew the taste that still lingered in his mouth, and his head protested getting up so quickly. But otherwise, he was fine.

The pale light of the night shone through the window. Merlin walked to the door and opened it. The chambers were quiet - only a small fire was rattling in the fireplace. Merlin walked further, only to notice Gaius leaning on a chair next to sleeping Lancelot. The physician was clearly asleep, too.

Merlin hesitated for a moment, but decided not to wake them up. They both needed to rest, and Gaius had surely done everything there was to be done to help the knight. So, with quiet steps, Merlin left the room.

The corridors were hauntingly silent. The few guards that had a night shift, stood on their posts tiredly and without saying a word. Merlin passed them and wondered if Arthur was still awake. It he wasn't, then Merlin wouldn't disturb him - that prince _needed _to sleep. But...Merlin was still gravely bothered by the knights' earlier behaviour.

_How long was I out? Sir Leon must have given his report...hours ago?_

Merlin thought about stopping and asking a guard what the time was. But he didn't really want to. It was bad enough that the castle was radiating fear and restlessness in the day, now it seemed to be even more bleak.

So, Merlin went on. Distantly, he moved his fingers lightly. They were working now, but the ache was still there. He really hoped the numbing potion would last until morning. For one, because he didn't want to know how much the fingers should ache normally and two - he didn't want to go through Gaius' potions in the dark, even if he might have been able to know the right one. With his luck, he'd just pick the wrong one and that wouldn't lead to anything good.

Like that one time... Merlin bit his lip. He had accidentally given Arthur a potion that worsened the memory instead of one reducing headaches. The prince hadn't been too happy about it after a day of forgetting where he was, who Gwen was or where even Camelot was located. Or when Gwaine told him that the kingdom was actually called 'Gwaine' and he had believed it.

Merlin couldn't even chuckle for that - Arthur had been so angry that it hadn't been funny. Or at least, not funny enough back then. He wasn't even allowed to joke about it, even if Gwaine found it hilarious even after all this time.

_Alright. Concentrate_.

He sighed and continued. After three corridors, something caught Merlin's eye. He stopped and turned to his left, where the light had just flickered. The long corridor was dim and there were no guards in it, because it led to the part of the castle that was rarely used. Merlin had to narrow his eyes to be able to see better - and then he saw it. The form of a man, with the long red cape he knew too well.

Lord Bayard stepped into the corridor from one of the chambers that were not in use. He didn't make any sound, he just stepped to the corridor. The candles were flickering because of the air breeze caused by his cape.

The king of Mercia stopped for a moment, clearly seeing or hearing something. Suddenly, he turned his head towards Merlin, and Merlin had to suffocate his magic rushing forward, on full alert. The moment was eerie. Their eyes locked despite of the long distance. A cold shiver ran though Merlin. He couldn't see Lord Bayard clearly, but it was certainly him. And the look on his face was...something he had never seen before.

Cold. Emotionless. Ruthless. And at the same time, frightened and blank.

For a few short seconds, they stared at each other. The haunting moment lingered, and the candles flickered angrily, even if no one moved. The whole corridor seemed to pulse, as the long shadows danced in the empty space between them.

Then, the moment was broken. Without making a sound or saying anything, Bayard turned around and walked away, disappearing behind a corridor.

Merlin was left to stand there alone, deeply disturbed by the sight. _What the hell is he doing here in the middle of the night?_

Another shiver went through him, and even the numbing potion couldn't fade it's chillyness. Merlin swallowed. The empty corridor stared back at him, but the candles were burning steadily now.

Odd thoughts swirling in his head, filled with doubts and suspicion, Merlin knew there was something wrong in this. He had known there was something going on from the moment he had woken up, but the extent of it seemed overwhelming.

He was in two minds whether to follow Bayard or not. But...something, just something, maybe a hunch told him it wasn't wise. There had been something so off with the king that Merlin sensed that was nothing that should be figured out in the night.

So, even if suspicions still dominated his mind, Merlin continued his way to the prince's chambers. The guards didn't bother to ask, even if it was the middle of the night.

Merlin, however, stopped. -Is he asleep?" he asked with a quiet voice.

The guard shrugged. -At least he hasn't left in a few hours." one of them answered.

Merlin nodded and pushed the door open with his healthy hand. He would have wanted to see that Arthur had gone to sleep, but then again he wasn't surprised to be proved otherwise. Several candles were giving light to the room.

Merlin closed the door and spotted Arthur sitting in a chair opposite of the fireplace that wasn't lit. He was deep in his thoughts, and looked even more worried than before. And even more exhausted than before. Merlin cursed the prince's stubborness - he was burning himself out. And quickly.

The noises alerted Arthur and he looked up. His brows furrowed as he saw Merlin.

-Merlin?" he asked, and eyed him.

Merlin nodded. -You should be resting."

-So should you. Why are you up, anyway? Gaius gave you a sleeping potion." Arthur asked, but his voice was hoarse and raspy, like he hadn't been using it in hours.

Merlin nodded. -It seems that wore off already."

Arthur eyed him for a while. It was quiet, and Merlin saw that there was something bothering the prince. Arthur's emotions were written on his face, but Merlin couldn't read them. It was like there was too much to handle. Which wasn't really a wonder, considering. _Hope it's not because of anything that has happened when I was out._

-How is your hand?" Arthur asked.

-Better." Merlin said and studied the prince. -Thanks to you."

Arthur turned back to stare at the empty fireplace. -It was Gaius who bandaged it and gave you those potions."

Merlin nodded. Sometimes it was amusing how the prince wasn't used to be thanked. Right now, the atmosphere was too dark for that.

-Yes, but you did all the work. Even if I complained and..."

-Fainted?" Arthur said and now he did sound amused. He threw a teasy glare at Merlin. Merlin let out a small chuckle and couldn't help but to smile. -Sorry for that, too."

Arthur let out a huff. -You did wake up for a moment, though. At least your eyes were open. But I'm sure you don't remember any of that. Gaius just stuffed the potions to you and you mumbled something incoherent. Then you were out again." he said. But then slowly, his smile faded and he became serious again.

Merlin had to look at the ground for awhile. The unsaid question lingered in the air. Merlin had to search the right words.

-Arthur..." he started quietly. -Did Sir Leon visit you?"

The prince's expression turned into a lot darker one and he looked like he didn't want to answer. -Yes, he did." he said as quietly as Merlin.

There was a silence again. Merlin hesitated. -Did...did something happen on their patrol? Something bad?"

Arthur kept his eyes on the fireplace. -Yes." he sighed and he shifted a little. -But Merlin..." he shook his head. -That can wait until the morning. I will come and see how Lancelot's doing. Gaius already said that he should be fine, but..."

Merlin studied the prince. He wanted to know so badly what had happened. It had clearly been important. He had millions of questions in his head. Half of them circled around Larva, Lord Bayard, limbo, the woman in limbo, the odd way his fingers had been dislocated...and the knights.

It seemed that things were just piling up, and without any clear reason. He didn't even have any idea were they all connected to each other, or was it just all a great amount of bad luck.

Merlin let out a deep sigh. His eyes wandered in the room. He noticed that the spilled wine and the pieces of glass had been cleaned up. Some of the report papers had few red stains, though.

-Arthur...Just please tell me what's going on." Merlin finally said.

The prince didn't look at him.

-What happened to Lancelot?" Merlin asked carefully.

-He was stabbed. Near to his shoulder. It's nothing serious, because the blade missed. Five inches lower and he would be a dead man."

Merlin shook his head out of pure confusion. -Lancelot is a good fighter. No one has ever gotten that close to him, not even in the training field. I've learnt a thing or two about wounds, too, being around Gaius so much. And even if I was a bit clouded by the pain from the fingers and I saw Lancelot just by a glance, I saw the wound. That knife wasn't thrown, it was hit with a force. Whoever it was, he got close. Too close."

Merlin was a little surprised by his own fast thinking - he hadn't even analyzed it all conciously in his head. Arthur turned to look at him, brows furrowed. He was clearly surprised, impressed even, by his conclusions. Then he looked away again.

-You are right. He was stabbed from a near distance." He was quiet for a long time. -And also, he is a good fighter. The reason why he was caught off guard so completely was because he was sleeping."

Merlin felt an awful sting in his stomach. -Sleeping? But...if they had a camp..."

-Percival was the night watch. He was doing a good job, as usual, but...he couldn't predict this one coming. Because this caught everyone off guard."

Merlin didn't want to believe any of his shaky conclusions and the chilly feeling in his chest.

-Because..." Arthur said and his eyes wandered in the walls. -Because it wasn't an enemy who attacked." Arthur turned to look at Merlin, a dark look on his face.

-It was Elyan."


	8. Chapter 7

Hey!

So I finally got the chance to update. :)

Season 4 started. I've had several days to recover now, but...holy crap it was awesome! It was the best season opener ever. And one of the best episodes in the show, maybe even the best. Well, if we won't count the next one, which seems it'll be heartbreakingly good, too. (And I'm talking about the clip from the next episode, I think I died a little when I saw it. SPOILER here, skip it and go to the next paragraph if you want to avoid it: That was the most intense scene between Merlin and Arthur ever. I mean really. Merlin's dying and Arthur is in the verge of tears. And their small conversation...Just watch it already if you haven't! :D

Season 4 - I believe the show is going to top itself. Like several fans have said it before, I seriously believe that the writers took a small trip to this site, because most of the episode felt like you'd be reading fanfiction. Including the whump. :D

Okay then, back to this story. Please, please, tell me what you think? :)

Story: Jetsam (Chapter seven)

by:** Niphrehdil**

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><p>Merlin had stared at Arthur for a long time now. He was shocked and stunned, and was barely able to believe what he was told.<p>

-Elyan?" he breathed out, with all of his confused thoughts leaking through his voice.

Arthur returned to stare at the fireplace. The look on his face darkened.

Merlin opened his mouth, but then closed it again. He had no idea what to say. Or ask. A sickening worry and an awful suspicion washed over him.

-But...how?" Merlin managed to ask.

Arthur let out a long sigh. -It...it had all happened quickly. They had been sleeping. Elyan had been sleeping, too. Suddenly, he had sat up, sweaty and erratic, mumbling something incoherent and acting like he had an urge to do something. From what Gwaine had described, he had just turned to stare at Lancelot who had been lying next to him. Elyan had continously said 'no', like he would have been talking to someone. Then, he just...stabbed Lancelot."

Merlin shook his head in disbelief. A shiver went through him, when he imagined the whole scene. A lump formed into his throat. He wasn't able to answer.

Arthur was clearly imagining it, too, eyes transfixed to the empty fireplace. -Fortunately it had been dark, and Elyan had missed a little. Instead of stabbing Lancelot to the heart, he hit the shoulder. And after just a few seconds he had done it, he had started panicking. Like he had realized what he was doing. He had apologized dozens of times and tried to treat the wound, badly shaken and shocked."

Merlin had to swallow, trying to force the awful feeling down, but it didn't go anywhere.

Arthur lifted an eyebrow, looking almost bitter. -Then they had rushed here as soon as they could, not letting Elyan near anyone and watching him all the time. He had almost been too ashamed to enter the city walls, but they had forced him to continue, unwilling to abandon him even then. He hasn't said a word, and locked himself into his own chambers for the night, claiming he didn't want anyone to enter."

Merlin just shook his head out of pure disbelief. -But..." he started, but no question came out.

Arthur was quiet, too. For a long time, none of them said anything. They shared the mutual shock and disbelief, concern and disturbed thoughts. _How on Earth could Elyan do something like that? They're friends, close friends...They would die for each other. Sacrifice everything to save the other. It makes no sense. Nothing makes sense._

Despite of the fact Merlin tried to push the certain thought back, it hit him anyway. _What if Elyan's got the plague?  
><em>He didn't want to believe it. He felt bad for even thinking it, and yet, it all would make sense that way. The symptons - suddenly snapping and killing other people. _Has he seen his dead loved ones? Has he gone mad?_

Merlin couldn't answer his own questions. He felt helpless. He looked at Arthur, trying to understand.

Arthur leant his forehead heavily to his own hand, not even trying to hide his confusion and exhaustion. -Merlin..." he said quietly, staring at the floor.

-I don't have any idea what has gotten into him. Is it the sickness or something else...It has all gotten out of control. People in the lower city had killed each other. Dozens of them have gone crazy, claiming they see the dead walking. The crops have suddenly rot in the fields. Birds are falling from the sky..."

The prince took a breath. -I can't control any of it, because there seems to be no cure. Gaius has done everything he can." he said, sounding something between desperate and angry.

-Arthur, there has to be a way to fix all of this." Merlin said, even if he desperation started to crawl into him, too.

-Well what is it, then?" Arthur snapped, turning to him. -What can I do? There _isn't _anything I can do. I'm just sitting here, every day, reading more and more reports. Dozens of people are already dead here in Camelot. More are dying everyday. The number could be hundreds in the outlying villages and behind the borders. Whatever it is, it has no pattern. It doesn't pick only peasants, it picks the noble as well as the royal. It doesn't spread through touch or water. It doesn't spread from a person to another, because there have been families where only one or two have gotten mad. It has no logic, it has no cure. The people just murder each other. How can we possibly fight something like that?"

Merlin blinked. The prince's sudden outburst had been loud and angry. The prince took a breath, and he seemed to calm down. He just shook his head, and turning away.

-I'm sorry, Merlin." he said quietly. -That was unnecessary."

Merlin could only pity the prince. -It's alright. You have been under an enormous pressure. It might be good to let out a little steam once in a while."

He paused for a moment, choosing more careful tone. -But Arthur...you can't go on like this. You _have _to rest. This isn't your fault. And as you said, you can't control it. It seems no one can. So we have to just...try to find out what's behind it. Burning yourself out doesn't help at all."

Arthur was clearly about to protest. -It isn't that simple, Merlin..."

-Yes, it is. You're the Regent, I know, but it doesn't mean you're responsible for this plague. You can't save everybody and no one expects you to. You're already doing everything you can."

-Am I?" Arthur shot back, brows furrowing.

Merlin fought the urge to roll his eyes. -You are sitting here in the middle of the night, worrying and trying to figure out the solution. Yes, I think that's more than enough."

-But that doesn't seem to make any difference. People are still dying and killing each other. And now, it has gotten Elyan. I can't just sit here and wait until it spreads to Leon and Gwen and Gaius and yo-..." Arthur cut himself off, biting his lip. He looked away and Merlin studied him empathically.

-I just can't sit here and do nothing." the prince almost whispered.

Merlin sighed. The prince was so righteous and worried that it was almost irritating. He didn't have any idea what to do. Merlin hesitated - should he tell Arthur about Larva or Lord Bayard's odd behaviour? Should he tell him about his limbo memories?

_Should I go back to the limbo? _

No. _That is a bad idea. Gaius would kill me. And if the woman is still there..._

Merlin stared at the prince, but he stayed silent.

The helpless atmosphere hung low in the night air.

* * *

><p>Merlin spent the rest of the night going through Gaius' books, trying to find anything useful. As it turned out, there was nothing.<p>

When the morning finally came, Merlin got out of his own room and entered the physician's quarters. Gaius wasn't there anymore, but he had left a small vial to the table which had Merlin's name written on it. Merlin took it and downed it thankfully - his fingers were aching already - and almost startled to notice that Lancelot was sitting on the bed, awake.

-Hey." the knight said with a raspy voice. He was leaning heavily against the pillows, clearly still in pain and quite pale, but much better looking than during the night.

Merlin smiled. -Hey," he greeted and walked next to the knight, pulling a chair with his healthy hand. -You look better."

Lancelot let out a weak smile and noticed the bandage. -What happened to your hand?"

Merlin's face darkened. He hesitated for awhile, and then glanced quickly around the room, making sure it was empty. -I...don't know."

-You don't know?"

Merlin was so happy that he could talk to Lancelot as freely he could talk to Gaius. Without leaving certain parts off.

-No. It...didn't really make sense. For no particular reason, they got dislocated when I was lifting a wine carafe last night." Merlin explained. -Arthur pulled them back to their places."

Lancelot's brown furrowed, and he was about to ask, but Merlin interrupted him. -But, right now, it's not important." He hesitated for a moment. -How...how are you feeling?"

A shadow crossed Lancelot's face. -I'm alright. Or...at least I will be. Gaius said it will take time, but the wound will heal properly."

There was an unspoken, heavy question in the air.

Merlin swallowed, but couldn't ask it.

Lancelot sighed. -I suppose you heard what happened."

Merlin nodded, studying the knight warily. Lancelot looked away. -I can barely believe Elyan actually did it. Not even if I noticed something was wrong." he mumbled. Merlin sharpened his hearing.

-You noticed something was wrong?"

Lancelot looked confused. -Merlin...I don't know how to say this, but...He started acting weirdly. At first, he seemed distant. Then...then he stopped sleeping. He always wanted the night watch, and went to gather firewood or something else when it was over. He was edgy. Then...after a week without sleeping properly, he finally had to rest. Then came the nightmares. He talked in his sleep, sweating and mumbling something about someone called 'Tom'."

_Tom? Elyan's and Gwen's father that Uther got executed?_

-And then there were times he mentioned a woman's name, and sometimes he said 'Gwen'. It was like he had been arguing with someone."  
>Lancelot said and shook his head.<br>-After that, he tried to stay awake again. I told him he had to rest, but he didn't seem to listen. He was quiet, and snapped at anyone who tried to talk to him. He continued it until he wasn't able to stay upright anymore. Then, on that night, he lost it. He just got up, took the knife and..."

Merlin nodded, looking away. The image seemed so wrong. Lancelot took a deep breath.  
>-But Merlin...That look on his face when he did it...It was murderous. Insane. It was like it wasn't Elyan at all."<p>

There was a long silence.

-Do you have any idea what's going on here?" Lancelot asked with a heavy tone.

Merlin squeezed his eyes shut. -I wish I did."

* * *

><p>After an hour, Gaius finally returned to the chambers. Merlin was already waiting for him.<p>

-Ah, Merlin. How is your hand?" Gaius said.

-Numb." Merlin answered honestly. Gaius nodded distantly and checked over Lancelot, who was now sleeping. Then he slowly sat next to the table, looking even more tired than before. Merlin hated how the feeling of worry bothered him again gravely.

-Gaius..."

The physician lifted his chin. -Merlin. Not a word about resting. I simply don't have the time. Instead, you might want to fill me in about your fingers and everything else."

Merlin studied him. -I don't know what happened to my fingers. They were fine, but when I lifted that wine carafe up, the pain suddenly hit me."

-Fingers don't get dislocated on their own, Merlin. And not even you can manage to lift an object in a such way that it would dislocate anything." The physician looked serious.  
>-Whatever it was, it wasn't natural. Did you notice anything strange before it happened?"<p>

Merlin scanned his memories. -No, not really...Except that my wrist ached a little."

Gaius lifted an eyebrow. -Did it receive a hit or something like that?"

-No. Nothing. It was fine."

Gaius sighed. -Well, what were you doing before it happened?"

A cold shiver went through Merlin. -I...saw Larva." The physician stiffened. Merlin took a breath. - I saw her in the Court Hall. She said that she was admiring the paintings in there...We talked, and sometimes it felt like she was throwing hints at me. She talked a lot, but didn't say much. I don't know...she is so confusing." He paused.  
>-But she said that her name means something in Latin."<p>

Gaius got up and took a book from one of the shelves. He opened it and came back.

-Larva." he mumbled as he went through the pages. After a moment, the physician stopped. -Here." he said and crouched closer.  
>-Larva. 'An uterus in the medical sciences'...But I hardly believe Larva's mother was familiar with any medical terms." Gaius said, the eyebrow reaching an impressive height. Then he continued:<br>-It says in here: 'the original meanings of the word: Ghost. Evil spirit. Demon. Skeleton. Most precisely, the word refers to a mask'."

Gaius looked up. They shared a dark look. A cold shiver crawled up Merlin's spine. For a moment, the room seemed to feel colder. Ominous. _Ghost...Demon? _Suddenly, Larva's word flashed in his mind:

_-Besides, the name that we use doesn't really include everything we are. Or what we could be called. Right, Merlin?"_

His magic shifted restlessly. Merlin had a very bad feeling, once again. -I knew there was something off with her." he mumbled.

-A mask?" Gaius said and closed the book, eyeing it worriedly. -What could that mean? A mask for what?"

Merlin swallowed. -But she can't be...a ghost. She is real. Flesh and blood."

Gaius sighed. -You're right. She can not be a ghost." He studied Merlin. Merlin's thoughts were swirling.

_-A larva is just an insect going to metamorphosis. No one would have laughed at me if I had been named 'Butterfly', would they?"_

She had been so equivocal.

-But Merlin, are you sure she isn't just Lord Bayard's ward?"

Merlin looked up and nodded. -Yes. There is something about her that just doesn't feel right. She seems nice on the outside, but it's like she would be playing with me. And she resembles the woman in limbo so much...Could they be the same person?"

Gaius' old, wise eyes were full of concern. -I don't know, Merlin. It might be. But even if they were the same person, we don't know if she has anything to do with the plague."

Merlin felt utterly frustrated. -I know. It just doesn't make sense. Any of it." Merlin tried to put it all together, but it was like a big puzzle which had a missing pieces and the existing ones mostly didn't fit. He let out a pained sigh.  
>-There's one odd thing, too. Last night when I was going to see Arthur...I saw Lord Bayard walking in the corridors in the middle of the night. Acting oddly, not saying anything. He just stared at me and then left."<p>

Gaius listened him intently. -I noticed he was acting oddly, too. When I met him yesterday, he seemed different than some years back. He was absent-minded and vague, not like the king I used to know."

-Do you think something has happened to him? Arthur mentioned that he and Larva had never liked each other, not until recently."

Gaius shrugged. -I hardly believe Lord Bayard has anything to do with this. He came here to negotiate with Arthur about the situation."

Merlin got up, and walked a little circle. -Gaius, we need to do something. Arthur is in the verge of burning out. Elyan's has locked himself into his chambers. Lancelot's hurt. Lord Bayard is acting weirdly. I have no idea who or what Larva is or is she connected to this whole thing. I don't know what is going on or how it can be fixed."

Gaius eyed him carefully. -Merlin. What if...what if you told Arthur the truth?"

Merlin paled and turned to stare at him, wide-eyed.

Gaius huffed. -Not...that one. If you told him about everything we've discussed here. Maybe he could help."

Merlin let out a relieved breath. He was feeling anxious and restless, and it seemed that his wrist had started to ache again. -What do I even have to tell? Suspicions, hunches?"

The physician studied him with his old, wise eyes. -You might want to remember Arthur is not dum, Merlin. He might be unobservant time to time, but right now he is the Regent. He has learnt to believe you, no matter how crazy you have sounded all over the years. Why not give it a try?"

Merlin shrugged. The thought felt odd. He was in two minds. Arthur didn't need any more worries right now, and giving him an odd description of the past two days wouldn't probably help.

Gaius stood up. -Whatever you decide, I will try to persuade Elyan out of his chambers. If he really has the sickness, he might give us important information how it works." Then the physician left the room.

* * *

><p>Night came quickly.<p>

The twilight time wrapped everything into a blue light.

Merlin had waited for Gaius to come back. But it seemed that either the physician was still trying to persuade Elyan out of his chambers or then he had continued his way. Either way, Merlin was alone again. And since Arthur had told him he was no use with one working hand, Merlin was stuck in the room. Lancelot spent half of the day sleeping, so he wasn't any good company.

Merlin went through several books but found nothing useful. Instead, he decided he had to get out. To see Arthur. Or Elyan. Anything but to sit here and wait for answers that weren't there.

So, Merlin got up. Undecided, he just walked in the corridor, wandering around. Then he suddenly remembered seeing Lord Bayard during the night. He hesitated for a moment. _This might not be a good idea. Something is off with him._

But then again, what else could he do?

So, taking a deep breath, Merlin headed towards the spot he had seen Bayard in.

This part of the castle was rather eerie. It was almost completely empty. It had dozens of chambers and rooms, and hundreds of corridors, but it was rarely used. When there was a big feast, the guests stayed there. And few maids and servants used it as a shortcut sometimes, but Merlin rarely was here. Arthur had once told him that he shouldn't even go in there, because he could get lost.  
>Merlin had asked if Arthur had ever gotten lost, and the prince said that no, he knew the castle like his own pockets, but as he had put it: 'people like you might get lost in there'. There had been no particular reason this wing of the castle had been abandoned. It just was.<p>

Which made the fact of Lord Bayard walking in there much more unnerving.

Merlin walked quietly. When he reached the door that Lord Bayard had come out from, he peeked in. The room was empty. There weren't even any furniture. Brows furrowed, he continued.

Once again, the familiar bad feeling started to grow. Merlin let his eyes wander in the dusty walls radiating chillyness and the spider-webs hanging from the ceiling. The candles were still lit in here, but there weren't many. The corridor was dim.

Merlin's steps slowed down. He was cautious now, all of his senses on alert.

There was something very ghostly in this part of the castle. It was quiet - too quiet. No sounds could be heard except his own breathing and the sound of his boots touching the stone floor. They seemed extremely loud now. But Merlin continued walking, eyeing the closed doors.

He passed three corridors and took a few turns. There were hardly any candles here. Merlin just stared at his surroundings with confusion - why would Lord Bayard want to spend his time here? The whole place was unwelcoming, cold, dark and empty.

Merlin stopped. It was just an instinct - he stood now in the middle of the corridor. The silence seemed brooding, heavy - like it was so unnatural that it weighed the air down. An uneasy feeling settled.

He waited. _Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock._

Then, in the blink of an eye, all of the candles went out. Merlin gasped and blinked several times, but it was pitch black. The nearest windows were far away. A bad, bad feeling he had started to flourish now. Should he lit up the candles with magic?

Merlin could only hear his own breathing. Heavy and rapid.

The haunting blackness surrounded him. He couldn't see a thing. Merlin bit his lip and decided it was safe to use magic - there was no one there.

-_Forebearnan_." He whispered and the candles came alive again. Merlin held his breath and looked around quickly - but the corridor was empty. _Alright. This is weird._

Merlin took a careful step forward. Nothing happened. He took another, and stopped again. Without a warning, the candles were blown out again, and the darkness swallowed him in an instant. He bit his lip. Restlessness started to grow. This wasn't natural - it was work of something magical. He stayed still in the blackness.

He listened.

There was a soft sound - very faint. It echoed and the sound twisted many times before he could hear it - it was a shuffling sound, like a silky fabric being moved. The corridors sighed the sound. Merlin stiffened and tried to trace the direction of the sound, but couldn't. It all circled in the empty corridors, bouncing back from walls and ceilings.

Then a soft laugh broke the silence. It was a female's voice - the laugh was playful...mean. Cold.

Merlin took a breath and lifed his chin in the darkness. He tried to ignore the shivers crawling up his spine. It was the same kind of haunting feeling he had felt every time the Dorocha had screamed. Ghostly, frightening and dreadful.

It was followed by the suffling sound - like something heavy had been dragged on the floor somewhere.

There was something unnatural in this castle and he knew it.

Merlin considered his options - he could turn around and leave. Or he could try to lit up the candles again.

A sudden sound made Merlin startle - steps. Loud, clear, heavy steps from somewhere. They echoed and twisted and echoed so he couldn't make out which direction they were coming from. But they were getting louder - whoever it was, it was getting closer.

Merlin didn't even hesitate - he whispered the spell to the candles immediately. The candles flickered and the flames in them bounced, like they would be in heavy wind. And then they went out, again.

Merlin's heart started to took pace. He tried to listen where the steps were coming from, but couldn't. -_Leoth_." he said, and the small white light lit up in his healthy hand. Its light was faint, but it was the best option right now.

Then suddenly, the steps quieted. Merlin turned around, seeing no one. The corridor was empty. Merlin decided it was best to leave.

He started quickly walking to the direction he had come from. All of the candles had gone out from the corridors.  
>Merlin glanced over his shoulder, but it was eerily quiet now. When he turned back, he froze to his place.<p>

Merlin breathed out rapidly. A figure was standing between him and the last corridor. Merlin backed away few steps.

-Merlin..." a broken voice said. It took a few seconds to realize that he knew the voice. Merlin stared in shock, taking one step closer. The light reached the figure.

-Elyan." Merlin said, incredulous, and took one more step forward.

The knight shifted dangerously. -No. Don't get any closer." he whispered. Merlin froze again. Elyan was covering his face with his arm, but Merlin could tell his face was filled with tears.

-I'm so sorry, Merlin." Elyan said.

Something in his voice told Merlin that this wasn't about Lancelot. An awful lump formed into Merlin's throat. -W...why?" Merlin whispered and took one step backwards. The situation had just turned threatening and scary.

-For helping to kill Arthur." Elyan stuttered, and his voice was breaking. He sounded frantic and frighteningly shaken.

-What? You haven't..." But Merlin's voice faded away. A crippling fear started to rise.

Elyan shook his head. -I'm sorry Merlin. For helping to kill Arthur and...and _you_." he hissed. Merlin took one step backwards, eyes wide.  
>-What...what do you mean? Elyan, this is not you. You wouldn't do anything to hurt Arthur..."<p>

Except, his mind reminded him, Elyan _had _stabbed Lancelot. Merlin drew air in so quickly that it got stuck to his throat.

-No, he wouldn't," a low voice said from behind Merlin, -...but I would."

Before Merlin could do anything else, the magical light faded away and the last thing he saw was a flash of a blade.

Merlin dived forward, hitting Elyan. The knight got him into a tight grip. Merlin struggled to free himself, but Elyan was stronger. Merlin could hear how the other man was coming closer, and with a quick realization he knew they were going to stab him in the back.

Elyan gripped him tighter as he tried to yank his arms free, but couldn't. Magic builded up inside of Merlin, and with an angry spell he shouted:

_-Dpislethc!_" and Elyan was sent flying backwards, making Merlin to fall in the process. He cried out as he fell right onto his injured hand and an awful crack followed.

Adrenaline rushed in his veins so loudly that Merlin had barely time to register anything else. He knew he had to get up, now, and _run._

His heart thundered in his ears as Merlin struggled to get up with one hand, but the other man was faster.

Merlin felt how a boot was hit to his back with a crushing force, all of the air escaping from his lungs. He crashed right back to the floor, gasping air painfully. Magic rushed forward again, but something stopped Merlin. He looked up just in time to see that Elyan was now running away from them, an unsheathed sword in his hand.

_No! Arthur..._

Merlin screamed out and without a second thought, he sent a violent burst of magic after Elyan, without any spell - it was born out of pure desperation and fear and worry - it made the walls shake as it swirled forward. It made the air electrify and rattle dangerously, but Elyan turned around a corner just in time to avoid it - and the magic hit the opposite wall with a massive force, making it shake and the ceiling started to crumble.

Merlin struggled to get up, because he _couldn't_ let Elyan anywhere near Arthur, he couldn't. He had to protect Arthur. He didn't care about anything else, it was the only thing in his mind.

But another kick into his back made him hit the floor again with a force, and Merlin cried out for pain._ Arthur!_ his mind screamed at him, his magic screamed at him. His every instinct screamed it at him. The sound of it was so loud that it made his ears ring and fill the air around him.

But before he could even think about defending himself, a violent hand grabbed him by the shoulder and shoved him around, making Merlin's back meet the floor. Merlin gathered his magic immediately, the spell already on his lips, when a cold blade was pressed hard to his neck.

The spell died to his lips and Merlin could only feel how the blade made a small cut when he tried to move. He froze to his place, unable to draw a breath without causing the blade to cut him.

Merlin blinked and looked up, only see a hollow, empty face above him. -Not so fast, sorcerer." Lord Bayard said with a blank voice.

He had no emotion on his face, no feeling in his voice. He had no light in his eyes. -Not so fast." he said.


	9. Chapter 8

Hey again!

So. I've had three exams lately (well, I should be studying for the third one right now...:D) but I wanted to post this as soon as I can.

I have few things on my mind. Firstly:

*spoiler *, season 4 just decided to kill characters from my story without letting me now in advance. :D So uh...Lancelot's still alive in this. I don't really think they killed him off permanently, at least considering the trailers and the rumours. Oh yeah, and Arthur is now KING. Seriously, what happened to this show? Season 4 has been...so awesome that it's unbelievable. (I can't BELIEVE it. :D) They've had more character and plot progress in three episodes than they've had in two previous seasons. I'm just loving the series even more than before, can't wait for the upcoming episodes.

Okay, secondly. I'm terribly busy once again, so hopefully you understand I'll update when I can, but that might not be that often right now. (But I can still promise it'll take max. two weeks)

Thirdly. If someone is still reading this, I wanted to share something that is rather stupid but somewhat funny. You do know Percival, right? His name doesn't mean anything particular in English, but kind of does in my native language, Finnish. It sounds something that could be translated like Arse-cival. I cracked up when they first mentioned his name. :D To be honest, it sounds like a medicine lotion for arses.

Sorry. I had to share that. :D I hope I didn't ruin the character for you. :S

But anyway. To the chapter.

Review?

Story: Jetsam (Chapter eight)

by: **Niphrehdil**

* * *

><p>Merlin kept completely still. He didn't move an inch - he was pinned against the floor, holding his breath, feeling the cold blade against his neck. And he also felt how a small trickle of blood was already flowing down from it.<p>

The knife was sharp. As sharp as a razor - Merlin knew that if he struggled, Bayard would cut him. The king was staring at him with blank eyes. Merlin tried to calm himself down, to think clearly - but his heart was thundering in his ears and the growing fear for Arthur made the panic crawl slowly towards him.

Lord Bayard had no malice in his voice. He didn't have a satisfied expression on his face, or a smug one. He looked...empty. Like an empty shell of someone. He had no emotion on his voice, on his face, on his eyes. He was unreachable, acting like a mindless slave. He just stared at Merlin, and his words had sounded like they were learnt. Merlin tried to draw quick conclusions, because he would soon ran out of air.

Magic wasn't an option. He couldn't send Bayard flying backwards because of the blade. Making a sleeping spell was too dangerous, too. Merlin wished so badly he knew a teleporting spell. But even if he could do that in theory, he had never done it before and didn't know even a spell for it. Besides, it would take some time. And Bayard just might be dragged along with him.

All of his thoughts swirled in seconds, and Merlin's panic grew. All of his options seemed to have run dry. Bayard didn't say anything, he just stayed still. Merlin tried to move his hands, but his injured fingers protested violently. His eyes were suddenly blurring - but not because of the fingers.

_I'm running out of air._

Merlin was starting to panic. Arthur was in danger, he was running out of air, Elyan had gone crazy, Bayard wasn't himself..._  
><em>Quickly, he took a small breath, but felt how the blade drilled into his skin again, deepening the wound.

In a small moment, Merlin realized he was going to die if he didn't do anything, and very soon. He decided it was best to die fighting, at least. So, defiantly, he gathered his magic until it was bubbling in his veins, almost boiling. All of his emotions, panic, anger, worry and desperation mixed into it. Merlin bit his lip for a moment, and then decided it was now or never.

In a blink of an eye, Merlin released an outburst of pure magic. No spell was said. In two quick seconds, a massive pressure wave crashed everywhere around him and on the same second Bayard screamed out in surprise, and was sent flying backwards.

Just when Merlin felt the weight of the king to lessen, Bayard's hands were also yanked back. In a fleeding but horrible moment, Merlin heard a slicing sound. Flesh tearing up, a sound that he had so often heard in battlefields and fights, a sound he had been used to but it still made him nauseous every time.  
>The time seemed to slow down and for one fraction of a second, Merlin thought he had heard wrong. For a one numb moment, he thought he had made it without a scrath.<p>

But then, the pain hit him. A massive, burning, white hot pain hit him, and the air got stuck to Merlin's throat. He felt something warm and sticky flow down his neck, dangerously quickly. Instinctively, Merlin's hand flew to cover it, and he realized in horror that he was bleeding. Heavily.

He gasped for breath and fought against the panic. He needed to get up. He needed to get up and fight, and save Arthur. Adrenaline kicked in.

But when Merlin struggled to get up, he just fell down miserably, strengthless. His body just didn't cooperate. _Oh no. No, no, no.. I'm going to die if I can't get up._

Merlin heard distantly how Bayard growled and was getting up somewhere further away.

The time seemed to stop for a moment.

Merlin stared at the ceiling. The tiles on it were grey and old. His own shaky breaths sounded very wrong, they were raspy and shuddering, too short. And they echoed oddly. Merlin could hear his own heart beating, it filled his awareness.  
>The corridor was dark. The only light came from the next corridor, that was somewhat close to the main corridors and the lively part of the castle.<p>

Merlin tried to form coherent, logical thoughts, and think how long it would take Elyan to get into Arthur's chambers. It didn't even cross his mind that even now, he was thinking Arthur.

He was bleeding and holding his neck with his bandaged fingers that Arthur had fixed. _Arthur._

Somewhere from the back of his head, he could almost hear the prince's voice teasy and yet so commanding voice: _Get up, you idiot. Don't just lay there and get yourself killed._

Merlin blinked. Determination filled him. He could hear how Bayard was standing up now. Merlin knew he would bleed out if the wound wasn't taken care of. So, with a shaky healing spell he had tried to learn, he whispered: -_Lácnian."_

He didn't know whether it was the panic or the determination, but he could feel how the wound closed up just a bit, just enough to slow down the bleeding. Merlin gasped and repeated the spell, and again, the wound healed a little. It was still dangerous, but it wasn't fatal. Merlin had bought time, and forced himself to struggle up now.

This time, he managed to stagger up. Bayard was almost at him, but Merlin ducked away when the king swinged the blade towards him, and for a moment, Merlin thought that finally Arthur's habit of throwing objects at him had done him a favor.

Then, Merlin broke off to run. _I can't fight him, not like this. And I need to go after Elyan._

His steps were unsteady and shaky - he could barely stay upright. When he finally reached the main corridor, a guard turned to look at him. His eyes widened with shock.

-G-get...get the knights. The prince is in danger." Merlin said with a voice he couldn't recognize as his own. The guard looked shocked, staring at him.

-Go!" Merlin shouted at the guard, and the stunned man finally followed the order. Merlin didn't give a damn about the fact he didn't exactly have the authority to order the guards, because right now everything that was on his mind was Arthur.

Merlin headed to the other direction, glancing quickly back. Bayard was nowhere to be seen, so maybe he hadn't tried to follow him. Merlin rushed forward, maids and servants stopping to stare at him and the blood covering him. He was still pressing his neck with his injured hand. But he didn't pay attention to any of them.

When he finally reached the door of Arthur's chambers, he noted in horror that the door was open, guards nowhere to be seen. Merlin rushed in, realizing he had no weapon besides his magic. But he didn't even hesitate using magic if it came to it - Arthur's life had always came first.

When he entered the room, he scanned the sight immediately. When he saw Arthur standing in the middle of the room, an overwhelming relief washed over him. The prince was holding a sword and staring at the floor. Merlin's eyes slid to the direction, and he saw Elyan lying there.  
>And...he was crying. He was crawled up in a ball, weeping face down. His sword was lying uselessly on the ground. His sobs filled the room.<p>

Merlin looked quickly up and made sure Arthur had no visible injuries on him, but he seemed perfectly fine. Except he looked shocked, disbelieving and he was out of breath - there had obviously been a fight. He didn't even notice Merlin entering, he was too stunned.

Merlin took a few calming breaths, as the huge relief washed his panic away. He could feel how the adrenaline started to die away, how his heartbeat started to slow down. And also how he started to feel blurry and disoriented, when he exhaustion finally caught up with him.

-A-arthur?" he whispered and the prince startled and turned quickly around. When he saw Merlin, his eyes widened.

-Merlin? What happened?" he asked, eyeing his servant from head to toe. Merlin took heavy breaths and tried to answer, but he felt awfully dizzy. He swayed on his place, unable to form a coherent phrase. Distantly, he heard people running in the corridor. Familiar voices...one of them was Gwaine.

_Arthur's safe... _Merlin thought, and it was the only thing he needed to know. He took support from the wall with his free hand and lowered himself slowly to the floor, leaning heavily against the cool stone. He pressed his injured fingers harder to the wound, ignoring the pain both in his finger and neck.

-Merlin?" Arthur asked with a wary tone. The prince eyed him and then Elyan, hesitant to leave the knight unguarded but clearly wanting to find out what had happened.

Fortunately, the knights rushed in just then. They had drawn theirs swords, and when they saw Elyan, mutual shock spread to their faces. The weeping knight had covered his face.

For a moment, none of them said anything. Awkward and heavy tension filled the room.

They all knew that something was seriously wrong with Elyan. Gwaine turned to look at Merlin, and his familiar cheeriness was nowhere to be seen. -Did _he_ do that to you?" he asked, sounding both disbelieving and angry, pointing his finger at Elyan.

Merlin shook his head a little.

Gwaine nodded, but before he got the chance to answer, Leon stepped forward. -What are your orders, Sire?"

Elyan's faint sobs filled the room for a while, as Arthur didn't reply straight away. Instead, he stared at Elyan, mixed emotions ons his face. -I think it would be the best if he spent the night behind locked doors." Arthur said with a quiet voice.

Sir Leon nodded. Without saying anything else, the knights quietly picked Elyan from the floor. Elyan didn't struggle. Oddly, his eyes were transfixed now, and he stared intently to the thin air, like he was seeing something that wasn't there. Then a pained expression spread to his face.

-Father, I'm so sorry..." he whispered.

Merlin blinked in surprise. _Tom? Is he talking about Tom? _Quick thoughts ran through his mind. _Tom is dead. Either he has gone mad or... _  
>Elyan's eyes were full of emotion: regret, sadness and affection. <em>He really sees something. Or at least thinks so...<em>

Merlin would have wanted to ask Elyan did he really see his and Gwen's executed father standing there in the middle of the room, but when he tried to talk, all that came out was a gagged breath. _This isn't good..._  
>The knights pulled Elyan with them towards the door. The broken knight turned to look over his shoulder, looking shattered, eyes lingering on the exact same spot than before. Merlin studied him with confusion - that kind of affection couldn't be pretended. Elyan really saw something, whether it was just on his mind or really there, and was deeply shaken by it. Then the knights disappeared to the corridor.<p>

Leon stayed, of course. He stood quietly in the doorway, hidden shock in his eyes. The humble knight stared at the floor where Elyan's sword was.

-Sire." he began, quietly. -Was there a fight here?" he asked.

Arthur was also frozen to the spot he had been standing all this time. He stirred and turned to look at Leon. -Yes. Well, not much of a one. Elyan came in here and just...attacked. It took a moment, but I made him lose his sword. After that, he just...looked shaken and started to...cry uncontrollably. He didn't answer me when I tried to ask why he had attacked me. Instead he kept babbling something about Gwen and Tom...Among other things that made no sense."

There was a long silence in the room. Merlin took short, small breaths because it hurt to breathe properly.

-Do you think he has the plague?" Arthur asked from the knight.

Sir Leon swallowed. -I truly hope not, Sire. But...considering the past events, I'm afraid so."

The distant sounds from the corridor seemed loud for awhile. Arthur placed his sword absent-mindedly to the nearest table. The metallic sound seemed cold and unpleasant. _At least Gaius can examine Elyan now...And maybe get some answers._  
>It seemed to be the only good thing in this mess.<p>

Merlin was starting to feel tired. Very tired, actually, now that the situation was mostly over. He should just warn Arthur about Bayard.

Merlin took a breath. -r..thur." he squeaked out. The prince looked like he had been just brought back to the actual situation. He turned to look at Merlin, and after a short moment, the prince was by his side.

-Leon, inform Gaius of what has happened and that we're coming there shortly." Arthur said to the knight, who just nodded obediantly and left. Then the prince knelt down and looked at Merlin's wound with slight anger.-What on Earth happened? Who did this?"

-Bayard." Merlin said, and managed to make it sound almost normal. Arthur just blinked blankly one time.

-Bayard?" he asked. -_Lord_ Bayard?"

Merlin nodded faintly. -Elyan and him attacked me." he replied. Arthur stared back at him, mouth open a little. -What? What for?"

Merlin fought the urge to roll his eyes. He needed to cough to get his voice work again. -I don't know...Elyan's clearly out of it anyway and Bayard...well, I think he's not Bayard anymore. Not in the way we knew him before, at least."

-Merlin, you're not making any sense."

-Arthur, there is something seriously wrong with Bayard. He's...different. Like he'd be under an enchantment."

Arthur's eyes hardened instantly when magic was mentioned. -Well, that explains it, then." he mumbled. Merlin ignored the poignant sting in his heart.

-Now, let's get you to Gaius. From what I can tell, the wound isn't that bad, but it needs to be stiched up."

Merlin already knew how utterly happy Gaius would be to see him like this. It's not like he hadn't caused enough worry already. With a serious expression on his face, Arthur pulled him up to stand.

* * *

><p>Merlin took a deep breath. He succeeded without causing himself any more pain. Gaius had cleaned up the wound and stitched it up - it seemed he had healed it surprisingly well with magic already, considering it had been quite bad in the first place. Merlin would have felt proud of himself - healing magic was something he was <em>not<em> good at - but seeing Lancelot sleeping in the corner and the worried lines on Gaius' forehead made that feel unimportant.

Gaius did his work quietly. Merlin had explained everything that had happened twice - to Arthur and to the physician. Arthur had sent some guards to find Lord Bayard, and now he was sitting on the chair next to the fire. He was quiet - he hadn't said a word after they had arrived.

Everyone was on a bad mood. The situation had gone worse - which seemed ridiculous considering how bad it already was. Merlin couldn't swallow the uneasy feeling when he watched Arthur from the corner of his eye.

Gaius and Arthur were both in the brink of exhaustion. Collapsing. They had been working around the clock, trying desperately to find a solution. They were both yawning from time to time, dark circles and bags under their eyes. Their eyes were almost blear from the tiredness. And Merlin hated it. He hated that two people he cared the most were in this condition.  
>Once again, he cursed himself for going to limbo. Or getting to trouble, again.<p>

The silence was brooding. Like it had been for so long time now that Merlin had trouble remembering what it had been like before. Lancelot sifted on his bed sometimes, and the sound seemed very loud in the room.

When Gaius finally finished fixing the wound, he also changed the bandages to Merlin's injured hands and wrist - the previous ones were soaked in blood. But then a guard interrupted their numb silence.  
>-Sire," he breathed out. -Sir Leon sent you a word that Sir Elyan is now safely located, and that the other knights guard him personally. Also, we found Lord Bayard and asked him to meet you. He is waiting for you now."<p>

Merlin glanced the guard, then the prince.

Arthur nodded. -I'll be there right away. Double the guards around the west wing. Make sure there are several around Lord Bayard's chambers."

-Yes, Sire."

-Dismissed." The guard bowed his head quickly and left. Arthur got up while Lancelot mumbled something in his sleep. Merlin eyed the prince._ I don't like the fact you're facing Bayard alone._

-Gaius?" Merlin asked, and his voice was still rather raspy. -Is it ready? I need to go with Arthur."

-No." Gaius and Arthur said exactly in the same time demandingly. Merlin blinked and looked up, confused. Both the prince and the physician looked back at him sternly.  
>-You're not coming." Arthur said. -If Bayard did this to you, I'm not letting him anywhere near you." he said calmly.<p>

-But..."

-Mer_lin_." Arthur said with oh, so familiar tone, which told him he wouldn't change his mind. Merlin bit his lip and glanced at Gaius, pleading.  
>-I agree with him. You're not going." the physician simply said and continued his work without any hurry.<p>

Frustrated, Merlin looked at Arthur. -But Arthur..."

-No." Arthur said and walked to the door. -For once, just once, do as you're told, Merlin." he said before he left the room.

Merlin _didn't _want to obey. He wanted to rush after the prince, make sure that the ghostly Bayard wouldn't do anything to hurt him.

-Merlin." Gaius said with a tired voice. -He is capable of defending himself. You should rest."

-So should you. And Arthur." Merlin retorted, irritated. Gaius looked at him dryly and his eyebrow challenged gravity. Merlin sighed.  
>-I'm sorry. It's just...Bayard was so...strange. Like he had no personality left in him. He resembled more an empthy shell than a king." Merlin said quietly.<p>

Gaius continued his work again. He didn't say anything.  
>Merlin shook his head. -There is something very wrong with him. And Elyan, too. The Elyan I know would never hurt Lancelot or Arthur in any situation. But...he acted like he had gone out of his mind."<p>

Gaius tied the last knot and let go of Merlin's injured hand.  
>-Maybe I'll find some answers now that I can go to talk to him." Gaius said while he piled up all of the supplies.<br>Merlin studied him with slight shock. -You're going _now_?"

-Yes, of course. The sooner I question him the better."

-But...it's close to midnight."

-Nonetheless. You know as well as I do how urgent the situation is. You're a good example of it."

For a moment, Merlin just stared at Gaius, disbelieving, frustration rising. -Are you and Arthur going to get yourself killed!" he snapped. -What is it with you people when you don't _sleep_?"

Gaius checked over Lancelot quickly and took an old book from a shelf, ignoring his outburst. -You are overreacting, Merlin. You of all people should understand the seriousness of the situation. There is time to sleep and rest later. As I'm the only physician left in Camelot right now, I need to look into this."

-But this is ridiculous, you can't..."

-Merlin, please do as Arthur ordered you to and stay here. Watch over Lancelot and rest a bit. Send for me if something comes up." Gaius said, sounding tired and somewhat emotionless. And then he was gone.

Merlin was left alone in the room, filled with frustrated anger. _Rest? _I _should rest? I spent almost two and a half weeks sleeping! Well, not exactly sleeping, but..._

_This is crazy. Arthur is meeting Bayard with just a few guards with him. And Gaius is going to the dungeons. And Lancelot is sleeping. And I still have no idea what on Earth is going on._

Merlin fought the urge to bang his fist to the wooden table. It wouldn't do him any good. He'd probably break something again accidentally. He was just so _sick_ of this. He was so tired of being confused and having no clue what was happening.

_To hell with Arthur's orders. If everyone else is running around in the castle in the middle of the night, then I'm not going to just sit here. It's time to get some answers._

And he just might know who could give them.

After quickly checking Lancelot was alright, Merlin pushed the door open and walked determinedly into the corridor. He headed towards Lord Bayard's chambers, certain that the king wasn't there. Someone else was.

_Larva._

The guards had been doubled just like Arthur had commanded. It brought some kind of comfort to Merlin - at least he wouldn't be trapped like with Elyan and Bayard. Someone could hear if he got in trouble.

When he reached the right wing, Merlin forced himself to ignore the hesitation and the messy thoughts and just keep on walking.

-Is Lady Larva here?" Merlin asked from a guard. The fancy title still sounded odd in his mouth.

-She is in her chambers." the guard said. -But Lord Bayard has strictly ordered us not to let anyone in during the night." he continued. _Oh. Strictly?_

Merlin studied the guard. He hesitated for awhile. Arthur was _not_ going to be happy about this. -The Regent ordered me to share a word with her." Merlin lied without twitching a muscle. Lying had become so easy throughout the years that it sometimes scared him.

The guard shut his mouth, then opened it again. He glanced at his fellow knight, clearly in two minds. Merlin didn't feel proud of himself, but continued anyway.  
>-I can ask him to come here personally if..."<p>

-No, no." the guard said instantly and moved away. -Fine. But don't stay long."

-I won't." Merlin promised and pushed the door open that lead to the guest chambers. He felt slightly bad - pretty much everyone in the castle knew who he was, so he often got the chance to order people around even if he didn't any authority to do so. People always assumed that he had the right to go where ever he wanted and do pretty much anything he wanted without no one asking many questions. It had been handy from time to time, but he still didn't feel good about it.

Merlin's thoughts were interrupted when he entered the small room between the guarded door and the chamber doors. Merlin was quiet for a while, listening. But it was quiet. Almost too quiet. The candles had been blown out. Was Larva sleeping?

That was a rather rare thing to do nowadays, it seemed.

Merlin decided it was best to knock. He knocked the door with his healthy hand and waited.

Nothing.

He knocked again. And waited.

Nothing.

Merlin bit his lip and considered his options - he could go back and come back later. Or...he could just go in uninvited. After all of the confusion and the events, the latter seemed reasonable. So, without letting himself think it through, Merlin pushed the door open.

A dark room came into view. Blue light of the night was filling the room - the white curtains moved faintly in the night wind. There were no candles. It was eerily quiet. Once again, Merlin got the same odd feeling he'd had before. The uneasy, warning feeling. He wasn't sure if it was his magic or just a hunch - or both.  
>He stood in the doorway, eyeing the room.<p>

Slowly, he stepped in. There was a big bed in the opposite wall. Merlin took quiet, careful steps. When he got closer, he could make out a form. There was someone in the bed. Someone with long hair.

Merlin froze. So Larva was really sleeping?

The deep silence followed his swirling thoughts. The white curtains waved in the gusts of air.

-It's a bit rude, you know." a voice said and Merlin almost jumped out of his skin, backing away and raising his healthy hand into mid-air. His eyes darted back and forth, trying to find the one who had spoken, heart thundering in his ears for the scare.

-Do you often sneak out to ladies' bedroom to watch them?" the same voice asked, and Merlin realized it was Larva's. He glanced at the bed, but the voice didn't come from that direction. Then, suddenly, Merlin spotted her. She was sitting on a chair, leaning her arms to the back rest. She was sitting so still that he hadn't spotted her - she had been sitting there all the time.

Merlin stared her in surprise. He couldn't really see clearly because it was so dark._ If she is sitting there then who's in the bed?_

-My l-lady..." Merlin stuttered, trying to find something fitting to say.

Larva let out a chuckle. Somehow it creeped Merlin out, even if her tone was amused.

-I'm rather flattered, really. Don't worry, Merlin."  
>She tilted her head. -I won't turn you in." she said with a teasy voice, but it sounded hollow. Merlin lowered his hand and tried to suffocate the bad feeling that had hit him again.<p>

-But at least you could tell me how you got in. I believe there are guards outside the door." Larva said.

Merlin searched for the words. -I...I'm sorry. I came here to inform you that...that...the guards have been doubled. Just in case. I didn't mean to...intrude." he stuttered. He wondered if that had sounded even a little believable.

-I see." she replied with a puzzled tone. -So the Regent sent you out of all people to tell me this? How sweet of him." Larva said, sounding something between enthusiastic and mocking. Merlin raised an eyebrow. He cursed under his breath how confusing Larva was.

-But...now that you know this, my lady, I might as well...go back. Sorry that I bothered you." Merlin said and took one step towards the door.

-Not so fast." Larva said, mirroring Bayard's words in a way that made a shiver crawl up from Merlin's spine. Somehow he was sure she was playing games now.

-First..." she said and tilted her head. -I want to hear how you got your neck hurt."

Merlin was quiet for a while. _I'm not telling you anything. How did you even know? It's so dark that you can barely see me here..._

-An accident." Merlin answered. The white curtains moved somewhere behind him, and a chilly gust of air brushed faintly his hair.

-An accident?" she asked, sounding sincerelly empathic. -How unfortunate. What happened?"

Merlin didn't want to answer. -I think it would be unpleasant for you, my lady, to hear. So I think I'll wish you goodnight and leave, before the guards come and get me."

Larva got up. She got up from the chair so quickly that it almost startled Merlin. -But, oh, I'd really like to hear it. I love stories, remember?" She walked slowly towards Merlin. She looked different in the dim light - even disturbing. She wasn't a small woman, she was about the same height as he was. Maybe even a little taller.  
>She walked right next to Merlin, so close that Merlin wanted to step backwards.<p>

She tilted her head. -Come on, Merlin." She lifted her hand up, and then placing one finger softly on the bandage on Merlin's neck. Merlin shivered for the touch - the light touch felt odd and distracting. Her scent flowed everywhere around him. Merlin was suddenly reminded of the one time he had been on a hunt with Arthur and he had been face to face to a wolf after he had tripped - for a moment, the beast had stood right in front of him, the yellow eyes of the predator scanning him. It had been the small, lingering moment before the wolf would have attacked and reached for his carotid, ripping it open. Fortunately, Arthur had been faster.

Another shiver went through Merlin when he the memory flashed in his mind. Larva was now so close that Merlin could see her eyes clearly.

The moment he did, his magic jumped forward as an instinct. He startled and gasped mutely as her eyes met the faint light. They were...scary.

There were no word that could describe them better. They were downright scary, deep and hollow, empty and yet filled with emotions and memories. They looked unnatural, disturbing - Merlin had to look away and take a deep breath.

It was when he knew for certain that she wasn't just an innocent ward. The air around her was filled with the same kind of fatal taste as the wolf had had. Something that could not be explained, just felt.

Merlin took one careful step backwards and gathered his voice. -I'm sorry, my lady, but I really need to get back." Then he walked quickly to the door before she could argue. He turned around in the doorway, and then he realized it - the bed was_ empty_. There was no one there, but Merlin had been absolutely sure he had seen someone there. Someone with long hair. Now the sight of white, empthy sheets greeted him.

-You know, it's not a good idea to go wandering in the dark. You might not like where you end up to." she said teasingly.

Magic shifting restlessly inside him, Merlin looked at Larva one more time. She had a wide smile on her face - too wide. A smile that made Merlin nauseous for the thought that she had just touched him. That being so close to her had felt sick and deeply disturbing. There was just something so wrong about her that it couldn't be denied.

There was a shade of insanity in her smile.

-Going to see your prince?" Larva asked.

-Goodnight, my lady." Merlin stuttered and pulled the door open.

-Good luck finding him." she said with a sugary voice that had a bad tone in it. Her bubbling laugh followed Merlin when he fled the room.


	10. Chapter 9

Hey!

So I got the chance to update again. :)

It's been about two weeks, I know. One thing that delayed this chapter was the fact that I seemed to have sprained my shoulder. I shouldn't even be typing this much, but what do you know - I'm just too obsessed with season 4 right now. I can't say that enough, because seriously, this season is the best yet. And getting better all the time.

Alright, so here goes chapter nine. It's a bit longer than the previous chapters, but also I should give a slight **warning**: this is a bit dark.

Please review? It would make me and my sprained shoulder feel a lot better. :)

Story: Jetsam (Chapter nine)

by: **Niphrehdil**

* * *

><p>Merlin knew that it had all gotten out of hand. Larva's notorious words echoed in his ears as he rushed further away from her chambers. Merlin felt anxious - there was something very dark in her. Darker than in Morgana, darker than in Cornelius Sigan. Pitch black darkness, something that wasn't just malice or twisted intentions.<p>

Dark, in the true essence of the word.

As Merlin walked, once again, in the corridors, he noticed his own breathing sounded squeaky. He had to slow down - he had been beaten rather badly and he had almost forgotten how badly. He had been kicked, and his fingers had been cracked, and neck sliced...Come to think of it, he had been in a _really _bad shape.

Merlin's brows deepened. He stopped in the middle of the corridor, as the bad feeling he had had before, grew even more. He stared forward and observed his own thoughts and feelings. The skin on his neck ached. His fingers ached. He could feel a bruise forming to his back, but all of the injuries didn't really hurt. They ached.

Well, Gaius had given him another potion, but...Should he even be walking right now? He had lost quite a lot of blood, even if he had closed most of the wound quickly. And his fingers - he had cracked them again. He had fallen over to them..  
>Merlin lifted his injured hand to mid-air. The fingers looked normal - just as Gaius had bandaged them. They weren't sticking to unnatural positions.<br>_Weird._

Merlin shifted his shoulders - a sting of dull pain could be felt, but nothing more. He could freshly remember Bayard's powerful kicks into it - and it highlighted the contrast. Merlin breathed slowly in and out, in and out, and tried to sense the tiredness that should be there. Tiredness of not sleeping properly, losing blood and being beaten. It couldn't just be the adrenaline, or magic - it was too good to be true.

Merlin eyed his fingers - he still didn't have any idea how they had gotten dislocated in the first place.

_This is one more thing to add to the problems and unsolved mysteries that are piling-up._ Merlin bit his lip and continued his way, too disturbed by Larva's hints about Arthur. Merlin didn't even care that he might have to meet Bayard again.

He reached the main corridor quickly. Oddly, the guards were nowhere to be seen. And they should have been _doubled. _Merlin stared at the scene before him, magic rising. He took urgent steps forward, only to get a view of the small alcove in the left.

Four guards were lying there, eyes open, all in weird limp positions. All of them had a red spot in their chests, above their hearts. Merlin stared at them, eyes widening, realizing all of the guards were dead.

All of Arthur's guards were dead.

The ones that should have been guarding the doors.

Air escaped Merlin's lips as he stared at the murdered men in shock and rising panic. Quickly, he broke off to run and reached the doors of Arthur's chambers in a few seconds. Hands shaking, Merlin yanked the doorhandle back, but for his surprise it was locked. And Arthur _never_ locked his door.

Merlin's heart thundered in his ears now, the bad feeling becoming almost nauseous fist around his heart and throat. With an angry, hissed spell Merlin forced the lock to open, almost making it explode.

Just when Merlin was about to pull the door open, he head a faint voice.

-Merlin, wait!" a familiar voice shouted from the another end of the corridor - Gaius. The physician was rushing forward, a look of anxiety on his face. But Merlin just threw him one, short look, never even considering to stop. It was _Arthur_. Arthur that was in trouble. Arthur...

-Merlin! You need to stop!" Gaius shouted but Merlin didn't even hear. His mind refused to stop, to wait, because it was about Arthur.

-Wait!"

Merlin threw the door open and stepped in. The room he saw looked like a hurricane had hit it. The big table had fallen, among all the glasses that were now broken on the floor. Piles of clothes and clean sheets were sprawled across the room, all dirty now. The window was open, and the curtains were floating angrily in the cold night wind. The breeze had blown most of the candles out, few were still struggling. It was dim and eerie.

For a moment, Merlin couldn't see anyone in the room. He thought it was empty, that everyone was gone, that Arthur was gone, but he was wrong. With Gaius' faint shouts of warning distantly on the background, Merlin stood still, shaking badly. Adrenaline seemed to be tearing him to bits, magic banging in his veins almost as loudly as his heart.

But then Merlin saw it. In the last place he looked at. The one place that had always represented a place of safety in these chambers, were nothing evil had occurred. Arthur's bed, the big bed where he always sleeped in and threw objects at Merlin. There, Merlin saw a figure.

He knew before he even started to run. He knew even before he could see it clearly that it was Arthur, Arthur that was lying too still and too quietly. An icy sting of anxiety and aghast shattered Merlin's mind before he even reached the bed and was on Arthur's side.

The second Merlin finally stopped, his knees buckled. He collapsed to the floor, eyes darting back and forth. Air was knocked out of him, and his eyesight blurred into hot, unshed tears.

A knife was sticking out of Arthur's chest.

A sharp, ancient-looking knife was sticking out of the prince's chest, right where the heart was. A hoarse, panicked cry escaped Merlin's lips.  
><em>Arthur has been stabbed. Right to the heart. There is a knife...Oh God...No.<em>

Merlin felt how his own world started to shake. It was like a tower that was starting to collapse from the very stone base.

He couldn't hear anything. He couldn't sense anything. He couldn't comprehend anything.

Only that _Arthur. _Was._ Gone._

He was too late. He hadn't been here. Shock and waves of nauseous panic washed over Merlin over and over again, making it hard to breathe. But even if he knew Arthur was gone, that there was no way he could be saved, that he was already dead, Merlin couldn't feel it.

He couldn't feel it. Merlin had always had a small sense about Arthur, like a sixth sense - something that had been built along the years, and it had always told him if there was something wrong with Arthur. It had made him stir at night and woken him up every time a danger was about to crawl upon them.

But now, he couldn't feel it - he would have known if Arthur was truly gone. He would just know. Now that Merlin started to think of it, his eyes focused slowly. Confused, he realized that the stab wound wasn't bleeding at all.

There was no blood anywhere. None, not even a small drop.

Merlin held his breath, as a fraction of hope sparkled in him. Slowly, he reached his hand to the knife. It had a very odd-looking, carved handle and the blade itself was smooth and razor-sharp, filled with symbols Merlin didn't recognize.

Merlin reached his hand closer, and landed his fingers on the handle. The moment he did, a bolt of pain hit him so badly that he cried out and pulled his fingers away, only to see a glimpse of steam rising from the blade. In a quick, disturbing moment, Merlin realized the blade had burnt him.

He stared at it, then his fingers. Some of the fingertips had small scalds. Biting his lip, Merlin ignored it and reached for the blade again. When his fingers touched the blade again, he couldn't help but to scream out again, a disgusting sound of flesh burning following. Merlin squeezed his eyes shut and took a grip from the handle. He could feel how the blade burnt his skin, going towards the deeper layers.

Then suddenly, Merlin saw a flash. It was quick and overwhelming: for a moment Merlin saw the image of the courtyard. But it wasn't exactly like the courtyard - it was the version Merlin had seen in limbo. When he had been alone and seen the woman.

Then the flash was gone and Merlin was violently shoved back to the situation. The pain became unbearable and Merlin had no choice but to yank his hand away. But this time, the sparkle of hope in him mended his heart for a little while. _The limbo. I saw the limbo. Maybe...What if Arthur's in limbo?_

Immediately when he thought of it, it made sense. Merlin stared at the unmoving prince, and somehow he knew he was right. He would _know _if Arthur was truly gone.

_-Good luck finding him." _Larva's notorious words echoed suddenly in Merlin's head.

A dark feeling spread to Merlin - that woman had something to do with this. Fury building up, Merlin thought of her slimy words. She had known about this. She had _known_.

With a determinated defiance, Merlin staggered up and rushed to the other side of the bed. He thanked his luck that he remembered the limbo spell that would sent him to there - it hadn't been a potion like he and Gaius had told Arthur. It would have been easier to have magical potion, of course, but right now, he didn't even hesitate. He started chanting even before he lowered himself to the other side of the bed and reached for Arthur's hand, knowing that going to the limbo wasn't a good idea. It was dangerous and unpredictable, and Merlin could almost hear Gaius' warnings in his head, but he ignored it.

His urge to find Arthur was too overwhelming. He ignored the risks, ignored the facts. Even the fact that he didn't even know if he could find Arthur this way, could he send himself where the prince was right now. Nonetheless, he didn't stop for a one second.

Merlin could feel how the room started to get distant, how all of the small sounds and lights started to spin and fade. He lost the control of his body, and he slumped against the bed, half on the floor, half on the bed.

-Merlin!" Gaius' voice said somewhere from far, far away. He could only heart parts of it. _You...Can't...Come...Back...Dangerous...Magic...Arthur...Larva...Elyan...Tom...Bayard...Merlin!_

Merlin felt how he slipped out of his own body. And now, he sensed Arthur again. In an oddly echoing way, but sensed him much more strongly than in the real world. He finished the spell. He had no idea what Gaius had been trying to tell him, and he knew he should have taken it seriously. But it was too late for that now. He was in limbo, as was Arthur. He was now certain of it.

Merlin's noticed how his feelings had lost their sharpness. He realized his eyes were closed, and he opened them quickly. He was standing in the Court Hall. An empty, eerie looking version of Court Hall. It was too empty, big and ghostly.

-Arthur?" Merlin breathed out, and his own voice barely made a noise. It vanished into the big room.

Everything was blue. Blue and dim.

Merlin's former panic and fear washed away. His emotions seemed to become dull and meaningless. He was numb. Numb to feel, to think. He just was. It was exactly same kind of state he had fallen into last time he had been here. Merlin knew that this was wrong. And dangerous. That he could get stuck in here again, that it was extremely risky to be misleaded or lose the track of thoughts. _Arthur. Think Arthur. You have to find him._

Now that Merlin looked around, he realized the Court Hall didn't look _exactly_ like the real one. Actually, it was quite different. Not just the lighting - the paintings, the ornaments...

A loud sound of a door banging open made Merlin startle.

-Morgana, that was unfair!" a voice said. Merlin turned around to see a finely dressed young girl running. After him, came a blonde boy running.

The girl stopped and turned on her heels, black curls swinging in the air. - Just because you're the prince doesn't mean you get to make all the rules." the girl said stubbornly.

The way the young boy frowned was unmistakable. It took a split of a second for Merlin to realize that it was Arthur, and the girl was Morgana, and they were both about five or six years old. And they clearly didn't see him. Merlin stared at the scene before him with confusion.

-I can make rules if I want to." young Arthur claimed. -Some day I'm king and I can make you do whatever I want. I can make you marry Gaius and force you to read boring books with Geoffrey all the time!" he said with a smug look on his face.

Morgana looked disgusted. -You wouldn't do that!" her high and small voice said, partly uncertain. -Or I'll...I'll tell my father! Gorlois will tell Uther that you can't talk to me like that." Morgana said and crossed her arms, prideful.

Arthur narrowed his eyes so familiarly at her that it made Merlin almost flinch. -You wouldn't." the young prince said.

-I would." Morgana said and flashed a smile. Merlin's soul ached for that smile - the one that used to be kind and real, compassionate. Then the children broke off the run again, Morgana holding her dress up and Arthur waving a wooden sword.

Merlin watched as they go, feeling a mix of emotions. _This is a memory. This is clearly some memory of Arthur's..._

Merlin tried to hold on his logical thoughts, but it seemed they all slipped away. It was like trying to hold water in your hands.

-Arthur, you can't act like this. It isn't appropriate for a prince." Uther's voice suddenly said. Merlin startled again for the sudden voice, and turned his head to see a younger version of Uther standing in the middle of the room now, and a about ten-year-old Arthur standing opposite of him.

-But father..." Arthur's small voice said.

-No, Arthur. You must understand that your position in this kingdom brings you great responsibilities and you can never be like the other children. You shouldn't play with the commoners. Morgana is here, so are the children of the nobles."

Arthur let out a soft sob. -But I don't want to play with them. They all talk like adults and they never dare to address me properly. They are too polite, father! The peasant children have all the fun. Why can't I go make snowballs and build a hut to a tree like they do?"

Uther shook his head tiredly. -Someday you will understand."

Young Arthur looked miserable. -But I'd really like to go..." he whispered, looking humble.

-We will not discuss this anymore. If you want to have fun, play chess with Morgana or read books with Gaius. That is a proper way for a prince to spend his free time."

Arthur's jaw shook a bit, but he nodded bravely. -Yes, father." he said quietly and turned to leave. Merlin watched as the young prince walked past him, biting his lip and clearly holding tears.

A wave of empathy filled Merlin - he hadn't really thought about Arthur's childhood. In Ealdor, Merlin had always had the chance to play with Will and do whatever he liked - his mother hadn't been very strict. Merlin had had a happy childhood, even if he had to hide his magic and learn to control it. Now he watched as Arthur's memory replayed itself in front of his eyes, and he felt bad for Arthur. He understood Uther's way of thinking, but...Arthur had been just a child, not only a prince.

The scene vanished, and once again Merlin was alone in the Court Hall.

He waited for a moment - only to hear his own voice: -It's not me that's fooling you!"

-Silence!" Uther's voice said loudly. Merlin found himself watching the room filled with people - most importantly himself, Uther, Gaius, Morgana and Arthur. It took a moment to realize when this had happened.

-You've been found guilty of using magic and enchantments. In accordance to our laws you will pay with your life. Take him away!" Uther claimed._ I remember this. The time Gaius was posessed by the Goblin..._

Arthur looked pained and torn while he stood there on the side. Morgana gave Merlin a satisfied glare before the guards dragged him out of the room.

For a moment, it was completely quiet. It was odd for Merlin to stand here, when he hadn't been actually present when this had really happened.

-Father..." Arthur started.

-No, Arthur. Not a word." Uther said calmly and sat on the throne. Merlin found it odd seeing the old king in such a good shape.

-But..." the prince tried.

-I said no, Arthur. I know how fond of your servant you are, but you know the law." Uther said. -Now we shall continue our council."

Arthur looked frustrated. He eyed Gaius, brows furrowed, confusion and suspicion on his face. Merlin felt touched by the prince's effort to save him, Arthur hadn't mentioned any of this to him.

Then the memory ended, and the room was empty again. Merlin stood on his place, trying to understand why he was seeing Arthur's memories. It was hard to concentrate. He didn't have any sense of time - he had no idea how long he had been here. A weak voice reminded him that the time passed differently in limbo, and that he should be careful with that.

Another bang of the door. But this time - it was loud. Loud and much more realer than before. Merlin turned around.

-Well, well, well. Isn't it the small little nuisance Emrys?" a female voice said. Merlin recognized her as the woman from his first visit. He took one step back, eyes widening. It was_ her._ Even if he was in limbo, he sensed that there was something off with her. She could clearly see him, unlike the people in the memories.

Merlin straightened up and swallowed. -Where is Arthur?" he asked demandingly.

-Somewhere in here. It's a big place." the woman said. Merlin studied her - she looked so much like Larva, so much that it was disturbing. It was her and yet it wasn't. She tilted her head and crossed her arms.

-What are you about to do?" she asked mockingly from Merlin. -You escaped like a sly dog from here the last time. Like a trespasser you are. I wasn't too impressed."

-I came here to get Arthur. I'm not leaving without him. So you might as well stop making riddles." Merlin said, lifting his chin.

-Cocky much?" the woman said, lifting an eyebrow. -What makes you think you can order me around? What is your leverage?"

Merlin hesitated, and took a breath. -This is not real. You can't hurt me here."

She let out a empty chuckle. -Right. And why do you _assume_ that I can't hurt you? Limbo is as real as you, Emrys. And you might not want to get lost in here, trust me."

_-You know, it's not a good idea to go wandering in the dark. You might not like where you end up to." _Larva's words popped into Merlin's mind suddenly.

The woman took a step to the side, her partly torn black and purple dress shifting. -You're not dead. But you're not in that good shape. Even I can sense that - who beat you up?"

He took a deep breath. -I think you know that already. It was you who sent him to kill me, after all."

-Oh, burn." she hissed. Then she gave him a wide, dark smile. -Now why would you think that? I belong in here. I'm not interested in your world. I don't give a damn about your pathetic reality. People come and go, some return to their bodies, some don't. They can't see me and a lot them don't actually realize what's happening to them. Sad, isn't it?"

_So they can't see you? But can Arthur see you? Wait...you're not Larva then?_

Merlin eyed her, confused. She looked so much alike, but didn't. This woman seemed so much meaner and more bitter than the Larva in real world. She was dangerous in here.

_Remember that the time passed differently in here. You must hurry._

-Who are you?" Merlin asked, not circling anymore.

_-_Who am I? Do you really want to know?" the woman asked, sounding both amused and uncertain.

-Yes. I want to know who you are." Merlin answered between his teeth, sick of this place and refusing to give into it. He wouldn't get lost in here. He would find Arthur and leave as soon as possible. -Larva." he added.

Her lips curled into a wide smile. -Let's not get ahead of things, Emrys." She said, crossing her arms.

Merlin stepped forward, forcing his mind to work, even the limbo continously pulled him to the sweet oblivion all the time. He shot her a demanding look. -Tell me."

The smile died on her lips. -Fine. It that's what you want. Then I welcome you to the short and tragic life of Larva the Masked." she whispered.

The edges of Merlin's view shimmered, like a water that was blown into. Then an image of a beautiful mountain landscape formed in front of his eyes.  
>-Well." the woman said. -The nice beginning. Family, children, green grass. All the usual. Boring happy beginning. But then Larva's mother died. The Druids killed her."<p>

-The Druids?" Merlin breathed out, surprised. -Why would the Druids kill anyone? They are peace-loving people, they don't do any harm to living things."

She gave him a dark look. -Oh, don't be so naive. They kill when it's necessary. And they thought Larva and her mother shouldn't be left alive. It's so simple."

Merlin shook his head. -I don't believe you." He noticed how she talked about Larva in third person. But was it just a trick or something else?  
>-Shame. Because that's exactly what those Druids did, killed Larva's mother. Larva, however, escaped. And she was raised by the Shadow Breakers, more precisely Cailleach and all of her spirits, ghosts and Dorochas."<p>

Merlin shivered. The thought made him feel sick - how could anyone be raised like that? _The gatekeeper of the spirit world raised her?_

Suddenly the landscape turned into a bleak view of stone and the remains of a castle.

-To sum up, Larva got lost in the woods once." she continued.  
>-Bayard's men found her and decided to take her to their King, no matter how much she struggled. But they shut her up with few fists and dragged her to Mercia." She narrowed her eyes and gave a sugary smile. -Oh how Lord Bayard loved her. It was love at first sight, even if was one-sided. He wanted to keep her like a dog, so she became his ward. Larva hated the king and she started to practise some of the, what could you say - mean, mean tricks she had learnt from Shadow Breakers. Bayard didn't approve, so he cut her tongue out."<p>

Merlin couldn't help but to gasp. The image made him feel a bit sick, but the limbo dulled the feeling. The woman flashed a mocking smile. -Larva didn't practise anything after that, naturally."

Merlin bit his lip. -It was wrong and tragic what happened to her, but..."

-Tragic!" the woman cooed, like it was the best joke she had heard in awhile. -In this point? Oh no, Larva's life was wonderful. Later on, it became worse. You see, Bayard loved her ward. In a way. In a rather unquestionable way. He loved her so much that in the dead of night, he came to her chambers. She wasn't able to make a sound or scream, so I bet it made it easier to him. It was a silent torture, night after night, year after year. Larva hated him, naturally, hated more than her heart could bear. But of course, she was crippled - no voice, no self-defense. No use of whatever powers she posessed."

Merlin stared at her, disgusted by her story. Even the limbo couldn't make the feeling disappear. -But..." he started.

-Oh no. No, no." She cut him off, and the scene around them changed from the castle ruins to a snowy forest. Blue, freezing and frightening forest.  
>-Her life wasn't <em>that<em> tragic. Not yet. You can't wait to here how it all ended. You might have even heard rumours about this. You see, Emrys, after years of Lord Bayard's heartwarming love to his ward, Larva decided to take matters into her own hands. She was mute, so she had to seek more traditional ways to reach her aim. One night, she took a knife and put it under her pillow. When Bayard sneeked in after twilight, she attacked. But poor Larva wasn't a trained soldier unlike Bayard, so she lost pretty quickly. The trial was quick - no one spoke for the suspect, so to say. And she was condemned to run, run for her life. Bayard's men took her to the border of Mercia and Camelot and dropped her to the snow, without shoes or a cloke. They gave her a headstart before they sent the hounds after her. They made bets with each other how long it would take."

Merlin felt how a lump would have formed to his throat if his body had actually been there. The woman seemed emotionless.

-But the hounds never caught her. They were scared off. I guess it's the best to show you the actual memory than to explain it."

Merlin turned to look at the forest. He waited for a while, but nothing happened. It was a cold winter night, starless and dark. It was lightly snowing. Merlin was glad he wasn't able to fully feel the cold, because it must've been freezing.

After a while, sounds could be heard. Howls and barks. The limbo suffocated all of Merlin's feelings, so he just watched.

The sounds came closer. Then, someone ran from between the trees. Someone covered in blood and torn clothes. Merlin's eyes widened when she recognized Larva - but just barely. This version of her was a scared young girl with wide innocent eyes. Merlin felt a slight sting when she suddenly reminded him about Freya. She took support from the trees and staggered forward. Her bare feet were bloody and few branches were sticking out of them, they had all sunk to the skin when she had run. She was clearly exhausted. Howls tore the air, and she looked panicked, breathing heavily.

Then two wolves ran to the small clearing. She tried to run again, but her legs barely carried her. The wolves circled around her, like playing with her. She rushed forward in the thick snow, painfully slowly, and more wolves joined the others. Soon, there were seven wolves in the clearing. She still kept going, but then one of the wolves ran to her and attacked. It swinged its paw and she gasped, a mute scream in her lips. Her arm started to bleed heavily and the other wolves came closer.

Merlin stared in growing horror how all of the other wolves started to scratch her and growl at her. She had no weapon. She looked around, frantic and alone, trying to figure out how to detend herself. Merlin didn't see a malicious, dark woman but a abandoned, scared girl. She just tried to force herself to run, but the wolves circled her. Merlin kept staring at this Larva, and her lively eyes and her bleeding body, and felt pity.  
>It didn't take long until one of the wolves bit her. Her head snapped towards the sky, and she screamed from the bottom of her lungs but no voice came out. The pain was written in her face as the wolves started to rip her apart. They bit, tore, slashed. They carved her face and her skin, bit off pieces. She was just lying still now, taking shuddering breaths. Her weak attempts to get up made Merlin flinch and feel sickened. The wolves howled and fought over the prey. It took so long, and the snow under her melted to red liquid. Merlin felt nauseous, but couldn't look away.<p>

When she finally went still, after long torturing minutes, the wolves finished her off. Snowflakes started to cover her violently abused body.

-So," the woman said to Merlin, as they kept staring at the gory scene before him. -...that was about it."

She started to clap her hands, applauding. -Now _that's_ what I could call tragic."


	11. Chapter 10

Hey!

So, here's chapter ten. My school work is killing me. I should be writing an essay right now, actually, four essays, but here I am. :D But seriously, though, it may slow me down a bit with the future chapters, sorry. :/ I try my best to update as soon as possible.

By the way, how many of you have noticed that season 4 is half-way done already? It's ending way too soon.

But yeah, at least this chapter is a bit longer than the previous ones. Hope you enjoy! :)

As always, reviews are highly valued. :)

Story: Jetsam (Chapter ten)

by: **Niphrehdil**

* * *

><p>Even the limbo wasn't able to smother the nauseous feeling that had settled. Merlin turned to look at the woman beside him, and eyed him incredulously. Her last claps echoed in the space, which slowly seemed to drift back to the form of the Court Hall.<p>

She raised an eyebrow. -So, are you satisfied?"

Merlin didn't know what to say. The limbo kept numbing him and messing his thoughts, but he couldn't shrug off the cruel image of Larva's last moments. _Last? She couldn't have died. No. Because she's in Camelot now and..._

Suddenly Merlin realized something. He studied the woman next to her closely, very closely. She raised her eyebrows, looking caringless. But Merlin didn't say anything and continued looking at her anyway, and slowly becoming more and more sure about his conclusion.

-You are Larva." Merlin breathed out. The woman's eyes wided just an inch.  
>-You're her. You're the one that those wolves killed. That's why you're here - because you died." Merlin said, tone rising as it sounded more and more reasonable now when he thought about it.<p>

The woman narrowed her eyes. -Don't act like you know anything about Larva."

Merlin shook his head. -It all makes much more sense now. You died and got stuck here, because you didn't want to let go. Because you were treated so badly and you were so angry that you wanted to hold on. For revenge or something else, but you didn't move on. That's what limbo is all about, isn't it?"

The woman lifted her chin. -Oh, how wrong you are." she hissed and let out a crooked smile. -Tell me, Emrys - if that was true and I'm stuck in limbo...then _who _is visiting your dear Camelot with Lord Bayard?"

Merlin blinked and stared at her. Uncertainty waved back and forth, and his coherent thoughts were hard to keep together. -She is someone else."

-Is she now?" the woman teased. -Why can't we be the same person?"

Merlin's brows furrowed. She was playing games with him, trying to mislead him. Merlin bit his lip, even if he couldn't actually feel anything, and tried to remind himself that he _had_ to found Arthur. And fast. It also worried him that Gaius had tried to warn him about something, but he hadn't stopped to hear him out.

But he also couldn't solve the riddle right in front of her. _Concentrate. Just find Arthur and leave. You can figure out this whole Larva thing later _A disturbing, fleeting thought passed Merlin - even if he found Arthur, how on Earth was he going to get them both out? He didn't know any other way than magic... _Stop. That's not important right now._

-Where's Arthur?" Merlin asked.  
>The woman shrugged. -Could be anywhere. The fact that you tried to force yourself to his limbo world is bad enough. You might have a bond, but it's really not that strong. This Arthur doesn't seem to care about you as much as you care about him. Must be hard. After all, your memories are full of insults and particularly the words 'useless', 'worthless' and 'idiot' are included. He keeps saying them a lot, doesn't he?"<p>

She walked slowly towards the eerie windows, where massive pillars of blue light shone through. -Let's see what else I've got." She said, clearly concentrating.  
>-Your memories...they're tasty. Delicious, to be honest, I rarely meet anyone that's like a can of worms - lies, lies and lies. Betrayal, hesitation. Uncertainty. Hurt feelings. Underrestimated. Secrets. Dishonesty..."<p>

Merlin's heart ached for hearing those words, and he felt a slight lump forming to his throat. It felt like she was sinking her nails into her mind and gripping tightly to everything he was and had experienced througout his life. The thought was disturbing and disgusting - she was going through his life like the pages of a book. Merlin realized that she enjoyed collecting his memories and using them against him. Like it was all a game to her. Defiance rushed forward. _I won't give into her._

Merlin considered her options - she was clearly controlling the situation. He didn't know how, but she was pulling the strings in here, and doing it well. She had the upper hand in here - in limbo, this woman was dangerous. It was like she could do anything she wanted, but didn't because she liked to play with her victims like puppets. _I had to stop her. If she gets a hold on me, I won't be able to leave. _

Merlin took a deep breath and tried to concentrate on Arthur. He searched the prince with his mind, but the limbo kept slapping him back. Everytime when he tried stubbornly again, the odd, unlogical order of the place seemed to blur even more. The woman said something again, but Merlin squeezed his eyes shut and forced his magic to build up.

His magic seemed weak and it barely responded, but her voice was getting distant. Merlin didn't know how much time passed or what exactly happened, because the limbo kept making things vague and untouchable.

But then, finally, he heard a voice that made him snap his eyes open. In few seconds, he realized he was in Camelot again, standing in one of the corridors. Well, it wasn't real Camelot, but...  
>Guards were running past him but they didn't see him. The sounds became louder and Merlin was thrown fully to the situation. He soon realized that this wasn't one of Arthur's memories - it felt different. It was much more realer and sharper. Merlin looked around and saw few maids rushing in the corridor with blankets and sheets. That were covered in blood.<p>

Merlin swallowed. He didn't recognize any of the maids or the guards. Only thing he could recognize was that this was one of the rooms near to Uther's chambers, something that Arthur had shown him long time ago. Merlin looked around, and people kept rushing past him, like everyone was in hurry. The air was electrified, even in the limbo Merlin could feel it - people were quiet and filled with...anticipation.

Then suddenly a baby's cry broke the brooding silence. Several happy sighs followed it, and someone rejoiced. Merlin realized that all the fuss was going on in the room somewhere before him, so he started to walk towards it. The baby kept crying, and people moved around.

Merlin was confused - he didn't remember anything like this. It this wasn't Arthur's memory, and not his own, then whose was it?

When Merlin came closer, a sudden frightened gasp could be heard. -Elise, Her Highness...she's n-not breathing. Get the Court Physician and inform the king immediately!" a maid's shaking voice said.

Instantly a maid, probably this Elise, ran out of the room. She stopped the nearest guard. -King Uther needs to come here immediately. Tell His Majesty that it is the midwife's urgent request."

The guard nodded and broke off to run, while the maid rushed to another direction, past Merlin, towards Gaius' chambers. The baby kept crying all the time.

_Uther. King Uther. Midwife..._

It took a moment before it all dawned on Merlin - if Uther was the king, and there was midwifes and a newborn and someone who wasn't breathing...

Air escaped Merlin's lips. _This is the day Arthur was born._

Shocked, Merlin listened the the panicking maids. Someone was crying. So was the baby.

He felt like he wasn't allowed to see this. That this was very personal and he had no right to be here. Uther running through the corridor interrupted his thoughts - the king was much younger and stronger -looking. He looked a little like Arthur, Merlin thought quickly.

Before the king reached the door, a maid came out. She was holding gently the baby that was still crying. Uther froze and stared at the newborn like he couldn't understand anything.

-Your son, my lord." the maid said, and made a curtsey, one tear flowing down her face. Uther looked at her, then the baby, and then back to her. Without saying anything, Uther ignored her, pushed her to the side and rushed into the room.

The maid was left alone to the corridor, trying to calm down the crying baby. Merlin stared at the scene with wide eyes. The atmosphere had turned from tensed to panicked. Soon, Uther's heartbreaking cry tore the air. He started to shout at people, ordering them to do something. Pleading them to do anything. Merlin leaned heavily against the wall now, reluctant to go into the room. The amount of agony in the air was suffocating.

About twenty years younger Gaius rushed to the chambers now, but Merlin barely noticed him. He couldn't hear what they were saying, because baby Arthur was crying so loudly. But still, Merlin couldn't bring himself to enter the room. Even if none of this people could see him and this was just a memory. Nothing of this could be changed anymore.

-Ygraine, please..." Uther's muffled voice begged. He was clearly crying.

Merlin closed his eyes and drew a shuddering breath. He wanted to be anywhere else than here. _This is wrong. I'm not supposed to be here._

-I'm so sorry." Uther stuttered out distantly. -I knew how much you wanted a child. Please Ygraine, don't leave me...I can not live without you."  
>No matter how much Merlin had disliked the king from time to time, right now he only felt pity and empathy for Uther. His voice was full of desperation, anxiety...This was the day Uther's heart had broken, his whole life changed. Camelot had changed.<p>

-Sire, I am truly sorry." Gaius' tensed and quiet voice said. -There is nothing that can be done."

There was a deadly silence for a moment.

Merlin squeezed his eyes shut.

-A-are you saying that..." Uther squeaked out.

-Yes, Sire." Gaius' sad voice said. -I'm very sorry for your loss, but...the Queen is gone."

Merlin held his breath for hearing those words. Uther didn't say a word after that, he went completely quiet. In fact, the whole room remained silent; shock and devastation hanging heavily in the air. The maid in the corridor was humming a nursery rhyme to the newborn prince. She was smiling, even if there were tears in her eyes.

Suddenly Merlin recognized her - Elizabeth. She was working in the kitchens in the real world nowadays, but back then she had been Queen Ygraine's closest and most trusted maid. Gaius had told him that, Merlin could vaguely remember it from his first weeks in Camelot.

Elizabeth cuddled the baby into her arms, silent tears flowing to her cheeks. She continued singing even if her voice shook and the sorrow and the loss could be heard in it. Merlin wondered if she had been close friends with Arthur's mother...it seemed so.

Suddenly Merlin remembered the conversation he and Arthur had had in the forest, long time ago, about lost parents.

_-What was your mother like?" Merlin had asked. _

_-I never knew her. She died before I opened my eyes." Arthur had replied. He always looked so vulnerable when he was mentioning Ygraine._

_-I'm sorry." Merlin had said, sincerelly._

_-I barely know anything about her."_

_-Can't you ask your father?"_

_-He refuses to talk of her. It must be too painful for him. Sometimes it's as she never even existed." Arthur had said._

But she had existed, even if her last moments had been like this. Merlin bit his lip.  
><em>Alright. You're still in limbo. You need to find Arthur and leave as soon as possible. So figure out why you're seeing this memory as it clearly isn't Arthur's.<em>

Merlin hesitated, but he knew he had to do something. So, with reluctant steps, he passed the humming Elizabeth and slowly stepped into the room. Gaius had pulled a sheet over Ygraine, and Uther was kneeling next to her bed, eyes transfixed.

Few maids and a midwife were standing further away, head hung. Nobody dared to say anything. A strong feeling of sorrow had filled the room, and Merlin could tell it was all sincere - the queen had been clearly liked and loved. _She must've been kind and caring. Arthur is probably much more like her than Uther..._

Merlin looked around, and it was then when he almost jumped out of his skin. Because in the corner of the room stood Arthur. Real Arthur, his Arthur, from their own timeline.

-Arthur!" Merlin yelled out in surprise and relief. But the prince didn't react in any way, nor did anyone else in the room. Merlin tried desperately to catch Arthur's attention, but it was like they would be on complete different stages of limbo. Merlin walked closer, but the prince couldn't obviously see him. Instead, Arthur was staring at the scene before him with a shocked expression and tears glistening in his eyes.  
>Merlin had never seen Arthur like this, even during the darkest moments. It was like in the edge of breaking down, vulnerable and fragile. Even if the limbo kept smothering Merlin's mind from working properly, the empathy that filled him was overwhelming.<em> You shouldn't see this.<em>

Merlin's thoughts were interrupted when Elizabeth walked into the room. The baby had calmed down. Gaius moved closer to them and took a first look on the future king. A warm, small genuine smile filled the physician's face.

-The midwife said that he is a healthy newborn." Elizabeth said quietly to him. Gaius nodded. Then she gave the baby to the physician and stepped back. Gaius turned to look at Uther.

-Sire." Gaius said carefully. Uther didn't react. -Sire." Gaius said again. The king just stood still, eyes glassy and face filled with tears. It was like he was in a trance.

-_Uther_." Gaius called, and now the king turned his gaze to the physician. But his eyes were hollow and empty. It was like he couldn't see anything. Uther was still holding Ygraine's hand beneath the sheet, like waiting to get a squeeze.

-Here is your son. He is healthy and well." Gaius said carefully.

Uther's eyes wandered to the baby. For a moment, his face was blank, but then it twisted to disgust. With a shaky breath, the anger rose to Uther's features.  
>-Take that <em>thing <em>away from here. I don't want him. I want Ygraine, my wife back! I never bargained for _this_. Never!"

A breath got stuck to Merlin's throat.

Uther pointed a finger sharply towards his newborn son. -He is the reason my queen is gone, isn't he?" Uther hissed, finger shaking. -Isn't he!" he barked out and the maids jumped a little. Gaius let out a heavy sigh, pulling baby Arthur closer. -Sire..."

-No. Take it away from here." Uther said with a scaringly low voice and wide eyes. Merlin could see that Uther's heart had really broken. There was nothing but guilt and hopelessness in the king's eyes, the warmth that he had had just a few minutes before was gone. He had turned into stone.  
>-<em>Now<em>, Gaius."

So, with a slight bow and unreadable face, Gaius walked out of the room, Elizabeth rushing after him. Merlin stared at Uther, stunned and incredulous, mouth hanging open. He felt an overwhelming disgust and anger, but it wasn't for Uther. It was for Arthur.

Merlin turned slowly around, afraid of what he might see. Arthur was standing perfectly still behind him, and he was staring at his own father. Merlin could sense how the prince's heart broke, too, and something died inside of him, right there and then.  
>Arthur's hands were shaking - something which never happened. He was pale as a sheet, and he looked like a lost child that had been just hit.<p>

Merlin wanted to look away, wanted to take it all away. Arthur wasn't supposed to see this. He had always felt guilty for his mother's death, even if there was no reason to. Uther had caused it, and the blame was on him and him alone. But Merlin knew that Arthur was falling to pieces right now, and he couldn't do anything to help. Standing beside him, powerless, made Merlin want to scream out loud. The shocked tension in the room just made it all worse.

-See? I told you it would be worth seeing." all too familiar female voice said.

Merlin turned his head sharply, only to see _her _again. She was standing next to Arthur now, appearing seemingly out of nowhere, holding a hand on his shoulder.

-Your mother died for nothing." she hissed.  
>-She was supposed to live, be there beside you every day, Arthur. But look what happened. <em>This?<em> This was a useless death, that only brought sorrow and destruction with it."

Merlin shook his head fiercely. - Arthur, don't listen to her!" he shouted but the prince couldn't hear him. Anger started to rise. For a brief moment Merlin had just been happy that he had actually found Arthur, because he hadn't been even sure whether the prince was here at all. But now, he realized that they had probably spent quite a time in here, and it was never good sign. A much more time could have passed in the real world. The limbo was messing with their heads, possibly even more than the strange woman was.

She let her finger brush Arthur's cheek. The prince shivered. -I'm sorry if this was painful to see. I understand. I see cruel fates everday, but this...This is bad even from my point of view." she cooed. Merlin's hands clenched to fists.

-But you know, dear Arthur...there might be a way to fix this."

Arthur startled. -W...what?" he said, voice still unsteady. He barely could rip his eyes out from the devastating memory in front of them.

She tilted her head, heavy dress shifting. -We are not in the real word so its rules don't oblige to us. We are in limbo and I happen to be in the position to change things."

Arthur's brows furrowed. -What do you mean?" he asked, voice quiet and strengthless - something it rarely was. It was like the prince's eyes would have still been filled with broken glass.

The woman's eyes flickered to Merlin's and she flashed a wide, teasy smile. Merlin watched powerlessly at her, knowing that she was the only one that could see all three of them. She was like a pupper master in a dollhouse that had no rules.

-What I mean is...a change. A drastic change. Your life has been full of tragedies that were not caused by you. Your mother died, your father was careless. Uther treated you like a soldier, not like a son. He loved duty and responsibility more than he ever loved you. You lost your half-sister to the darkness and you've been betrayed more than once."

Arthur didn't answer. Merlin stared at him and the woman powerlessly. He tried to concentrate on Arthur, hoping he could somehow contact the prince.

-So you mean you can actually change things, Lemura?" Arthur asked slowly, still not looking at her.

Merlin flinched. -Lemura?" he breathed out loud.

The woman looked at him quickly with an odd expression, even a bit shaken. _So she is not Larva after all? They're two different persons?_

But the moment of her uncertainty was quickly over. She let out a small smile again. -Yes, in fact I can." She stepped one step back and suddenly, the memory of Ygraine's death night disappeared. Instead, the Court Hall shaped itself around them. Merlin didn't know how, but he followed Arthur and...Lemura, if that was really her name. Whether it was her decision to bring him along or he had managed to follow them, Merlin didn't really care. A bad feeling was starting to grow about this.

She lifted her chin and eyed Arthur. The blue room looked hauntingly empty and unreal around her. _This is all an illusion._

-So, Arthur. You've been here with me a long, _long_ time now, watching all of these memories and flashes. I think I've made my point: your mother's death caused the Great Purge."

The prince looked away. Merlin expected him to disagree, but instead Arthur just kept quiet.

-And the Purge destroyed so many lives. It caused death, pain, loss and sorrow to hundreds of people. And what for? Nothing. Absolutely_ nothing_."

-Arthur? Can you hear me?" Merlin tried desperately, but he got no response. He didn't like the way this was going. And what did she mean by 'a long time'? That could mean anything in limbo. A week? A month? A year, even?  
>That would have explained why Arthur didn't seem to treat her with suspicion. Maybe she had had enough time to play around with Arthur's head, conjuring memories and pushing him to the brink of insanity? Wanting to break the prince. <em>But what for?<em>  
>Suddenly Merlin's senses were sharpening - even the limbo couldn't hold his worry back. His heart started to beat faster, and with urgency, Merlin started to gather his magic. It was hard and it seemed to drain him slowly, but he knew he had to try.<p>

Lemura studied Arthur. The prince was still badly shaken because of the memory of his mother dying. He wasn't completely himself, and not just because of the memory. Merlin was sure of it - she had done something to the prince.

-What if..." Lemura stepped one step forward, voice deep and serious now. -What if I offer you a deal?"

Merlin's every instinct rushed forward, every bit of magic he could still feel through the thick layers of limbo warned him, like it would be suddenly screaming inside his veins.

-Arthur, _no_." Merlin breathed out, heart taking pace. She glanced sideways at him and gave him a dark look. Arthur didn't notice the small gesture.

The prince looked at her, but he looked strenghtless. Like if the prince had been here forever, tired and exhausted of everything he had had to see, his mind hazy and dull because of the limbo surrounding them. Which, Merlin feared, was the truth.

He didn't even have any idea how Arthur had ended up in limbo in the first place.

Even the limbo was messing with his head and numbing him, Merlin sensed that this was important. This was something important and dangerous. Larva or Lemura couldn't be trusted, same person or not. Lemura was clearly powerful, there was no doubt of that, and Larva had died. Whatever the reason and explanation of it all was, it surely wouldn't be a good one. Suddenly Merlin remembered his first visit in limbo, seeing Lemura for the first time.

_-Alright, fine. Then why did you bother coming here? This is not exactly some sunshine holiday, now, is it? No. You want something..."_

_-A deal?" she had suggested._

_-Is that what you do? Deals?" Merlin had asked._

_She had thrown her head back and bursted out to laugh. -I'll do whatever I please."_

Merlin blinked several times as the memory passed his mind - his memories of the first visit had faded quickly after he had woken up.

-What say you?" Lemura asked.

Arthur looked disbelieving, but there was a small hope in his face. -So what do you mean 'a deal'? Could you...could you bring her back?"

Lemura lowered her head so that their eyes locked. -Yes. I could." she said, one eyebrow raising.

Arthur took a mute breath, the thought clearly sounding temptating. Merlin gathered his magic fiercely.

Lemura spread her arms in the air. -Come on, Arthur. You could have her back. The mother you never knew. I can change things so that she never died, and you will have all of the memories from your childhood and teen years that includes her. And when you go back, she will be there. Alive and well."

Arthur's eyes widened a bit. He looked like he wanted to say no, but her words sounded enchanting. -In the real world?" Arthur whispered.

Merlin quickly thanked Arthur's thick head for concluding this wasn't the real world. It certainly helped even a little - the prince should know to be careful, even if she made it sound so good. Merlin fought against the limbo's barriers - it seemed that his magic was lost somewhere between his body and his presence here. Everytime he managed to grasp some of it, the previous bits seemed to slip out of his grip. It was frustrating and tiring, and Merlin knew how bad the situation was turning into.

-Yes, in the real world. I will send you to back there and she will be there after I make some arrangements." Lemura said with a sugary voice.

Arthur swallowed. -What's the catch?" he asked, voice sad.

Lemura smiled widely and shook her head slightly. -There is no catch. That's the best part. I offer you this deal without the need to trade anything."

Arthur huffed. -No one makes a deal like that."

_This is wrong. She is planning something - it must have something to do with the plague._ Merlin's mind seemed to be more and more clouded all the time. Was Lemura doing it?

-But I do. You see, I happen to know this your dream. You have always wished that your mother had lived. You spent years missing someone you never even knew. But you met her spirit once, didn't you? Do you remember her warm and gentle arms around you, an embrace of a loving mother?"

Arthur turned his head away. Merlin stood by, breathing getting rapid. The Court Hall darkened around them.

Lemura tilted her head, trying to catch the prince's glance. -I showed you that earlier, remember? And so many other memories. You want her to live, Arthur. There is nothing wrong in it. You envied all the peasant children, you envied them all when you were little. They all had a mother, so why didn't you? You only had a father who barely visited you, just wanted to make you a perfect, obedient soldier. He was absent all the time. But your mother? Ygraine would have spent time with you, taught you to read and write..."

-Stop." Arthur hissed. Lemura closed her mouth, tensed, eyeing the prince. Arthur turned to look at him, and the look on his face was the most vulnerable that Merlin had ever seen on him.

-What is the catch?" Arthur breathed out, almost desperately. Like knowing there should be a catch but hoping there wasn't. Merlin was wavering, unable to fully concentrate on to the situation. He suddenly felt a sting - like a needle inside his head. He cried out in pain, the surprising, instant hot and overwhelming agony filling him for a brief moment.

-What was that?" Arthur asked. Merlin fell on his knees, eyesight blurring. The blackening grip last only one second. Then the pain was gone, but the effects of it were still present. Merlin felt like his head had been hit badly - he felt disoriented and unreal, leaning heavily against the stone floor that wasn't actually there. _Something is happening_. Something really bad.

-That was nothing. Now, where were we?" Lemura said. Merlin looked up with blear eyes, and Arthur was looking around the room, like searching for something. Suddenly Merlin realized Arthur had heard him or somehow sensed him.

-Arthur?" Merlin breathed out, clinging to hope. But the prince didn't react anymore. Merlin squeezed his eyes shut, breathing heavily. In that moment, he realized something else - his fingers were aching. The ones he had got dislocated. Merlin's eyes snapped open and he looked at his hand - yes, he could feel the pain. Very distantly, but could feel it.

And you _can't_ feel anything in limbo.

Panic started to form a lump to his throat. Merlin forced his magic to gather, but it seemed to writhe. He could distantly hear Arthur and Lemura talking, but he couldn't concentrate on it anymore. Instead, the pain increased. Merlin breathed out, once again the agonizing sensation filling him, and he felt his magic rushing through him uncontrollably, turning his eyes golden. Merlin squeezed his eyes shut, trying to force his magic back, but it didn't obey. He felt asphyxiated, breathless, under the enormous pressure of his own magic. It was_ hurting_ him. The feeling was downright scary - it had never happened before. It was like he had no control over his magic - over himself - and his powers just bounced wildly in his head and blood, like looking a way to break out.

Merlin lost the track of time and space. Suddenly the limbo seemed to circle around him, become four walls that were slowly getting closer. He was lost under the weakening waves of limbo numbing his mind and his magic tearing him to another direction. His ears were ringing.

_Merlin..."_ someone called. Someone familiar. Merlin refused to answer, tried to keep himself together. It felt like he was losing his mind. He felt like he was falling, falling fast and was about to reach the bottom.

Then, all of a sudden, there was a click. A simple _click_, and the pain let go. Merlin fell strengthlessly to the floor like a rag doll, his magic already backing down. Merlin bit his lip so hard that he could taste blood in his mouth. He looked up, his heart thundering. His hearing started to work again.

-...nothing to worry about. So, do we have a deal, then?" Lemura asked, dangerous gleam in his eyes. She stood very close to Arthur now, head tilted.

Arthur looked torn, but lifted his chin. In one fraction of a second Merlin recognized that gesture, he knew the prince too well, he knew what Arthur was going to say. He knew he was going to say yes. With a massive outburst, Merlin shoved all of his willpower against the limbo. It shook and shimmered, but then it shaped back and nothing else happened.

-Arthur, _DON'T!_" Merlin screamed out in desperation, from the bottom of his heart. If he had ever been absolutely certain on something, he was about this now. He knew Arthur shouldn't say yes - his instincts, his magic, his mind, all of his memories and sanity was screaming it to him with a deafening sound. But his warning fell to deaf ears.

Lemura ruled here, and Merlin's magic could just poke at her world weakly, without causing any damage. She was wrong, dangerous, _deadly_. Powerful._ You need to say no. Please Arthur, for God's sakes, say no..._

-Yes." Arthur said, drawing a hesitating, shaky breath. It echoed oddly in the ghostly place, in the twisted doll house Lemura played with. Arthur flickered his eyes to the woman. Her lips curled into a dark, poisonous smile. The prince looked reluctant and shaken, like he couldn't control his own lips. Nevertheless, they dropped the words to the air.

-We...we have a deal."


	12. Chapter 11

Hey again.

First things first: I'm a fortuneteller. Like the user Kitty O kindly pointed out, Elyan was trying to kill Arthur in this story like he was posessed, and *spoiler* that seems to go down in the tenth episode of season 4. I should really start a business or something, with crystal balls and everything. :D Now I would only be slightly shocked if someone called Larva shows up in an future episode, lol.

Oh well. I'd like to point out once again that even if I'm terribly busy and I should be, once again, doing other stuff while writing this, I wanted to update as soon as I can. :) So here you have it, chapter eleven.

Also, I would love to hear your thoughts about this chapter and the plot. Reviews mean the world to me. :)

Story: Jetsam (Chapter eleven)

by: **Niphrehdil**

* * *

><p>Gaius reached Arthur's chambers a short moment after Merlin had rushed in. The old physician had cursed Merlin's stubborness and tried everything to warn him - but it had all fallen to deaf ears.<p>

As soon as Gaius reached the door, he saw Merlin lying partly on Arthur's bed, his eyes closed, and hand closed around Arthur's hand. The prince was lying on the other side, a knife sticking out of his chest. For a moment, Gaius just blinked and watched the scene in shock before he realized there was magic radiating in the air - clearly coming from Merlin.

He rushed to the bed and realized that Merlin had done the limbo spell again - his ward wasn't moving at all and his breathing was slowing down dangerously quickly - Merlin was falling to limbo. Gaius shook Merlin from the shoulders roughly.

-Merlin, you can't go into limbo again! You may not be able to come back this time, it's too dangerous. There is dark magic at work here. Can you hear me? Reverse the spell!"

Merlin didn't respond. Gaius gasped, as he could feel Merlin drifting away further and further.

-Merlin, we need to tell Arthur everything...You were right, Larva is somehow behind this. Elyan finally started to talk...He has beeing seeing his dead father Tom. And he kept rambling like a mad man about some deal. And Bayard is not Lord Bayard anymore." Gaius said quickly, hoping that maybe he could get Merlin reversing the spell before it was too late.

But the colour drained away from Merlin's face. He bacame unmoving, and his breathing stopped.

-Merlin!" Gaius called with a sharp tone but there was no reaction. With a slight frustrated worry and anger, the physician placed his hand over Merlin's forehead and closed his eyes, full of determination. The old physician started to enchant a spell, trying to pull Merlin back via his magic, because it was the only thing that was present anymore, only connection between the two worlds.

Merlin was slipping further and further away, but Gaius reached for him and tried to drag him out of the foggy barriers of limbo, fighting against Merlin's willpower. He was shaking now, because even if it was only the small, still lingering part of Merlin's magic that was in the real world, it was almost crushingly powerful and Gaius' magic was nothing compared to it.

He could feel how Merlin responded somehow, how he managed to yank Merlin backwards a bit, but then the effort got overwhelming. It was like it was only Merlin's magic getting backwards, but not Merlin himself. The thought was odd and scary. But even now, Merlin's magic, even't if it wasn't evil or malicious, was so determined and strong that there was no way it could be bent to anyone else's will than his own. Gaius had no other chance but to let go. Merlin slipped away from him, and after a mere second he was already out of reach.

Gaius staggered back, few drops of sweat in his forehead. He couldn't sense Merlin anymore - his magic's presence was gone. Taking a few heaving breaths, Gaius shook his head in fear. He knew this was the last thing Merlin should have done right now. Sounds from the corridor interrupted his thoughts, when Sir Leon ran into the chambers. An unspoken question died to his lips when he looked around in the trashed room.

-I will get help." the knight said with a surprised, heavy voice and turned around, leaving the room.

Gaius' eyes darted from Merlin to Arthur - the prince was fatally wounded but there wasn't any blood at all. Gaius' brows furrowed and he leant a bit closer, eyeing the odd-looking knife. The few candles that were still struggling against the raging wind coming from the open windows, didn't give enough light to see the runes properly, so Gaius reached his hand for the hilt. When his skin touched the surface, it send an angry wave of burning pain to his hand and the physician gasped, pulling his hand away. The knife had_ burnt_ him.

Before Gaius was able to do anything else, a quiet sound made him startle. It came from the side of the room. The physician stiffened and stood up.

-Who's there?" he asked demandingly.

There was a short, silent moment before a man walked slowly from the shadows, blue light of the night reflecting from his sword.

-Step back, physician, or I will cut you in half." a familiar, empty voice said.

-Lord Bayard?" Gaius breathed out, in surprise. Mercia's king stepped out into the light, and his hollow eyes stared back at the physician. He had no emotion on his face, no malice or anger. He was like a walking corpse or a marionette puppet. Gaius stepped backwards as the king lowered his sword.

With careful side steps, Bayard walked closer to Arthur. Gaius braced himself, gathering magic. When Bayard was right next to the prince's unmoving form, Gaius lifted his chin high.

-Just so that you know, I will harm you if you do anything to him." the physician said with a low and calm voice, adrenaline making his skin feel cold.

-I'm not going to hurt him. Quite the opposite." Bayard said with his emotionless voice and reached for the knife, eyes locked to the physician. With the king's eyes gleaming oddly in the pale light, Gaius opened his mouth to say a spell.

But then, Bayard took a grip from the knife's hilt. Slowly and without any effort, the king closed his fingers around it. Gaius stared at him, wary and anxious, but was caught off guard by the surprise - the hilt didn't seem to have any effect on Bayard. There wasn't any sign of pain in his face, or not even the slightest sound of skin burning.

An eerie moment lingered while the king and the physician stared at each other, Merlin and Arthur lying hauntingly still between them. Then slowly, very slowly - almost carefully, Bayard pulled the knife out. Gaius stepped forward, but froze when he kept his eyes at Arthur's chest - his white shirt didn't have even a single drop of blood. The fabric was torn in the spot where the knife had just been, but there wasn't any sign of damage at all. It was like the prince had just got his shirt ripped by accident, nothing serious.

Bayard turned the knife in his hand, squeezing it tighter. The white curtains behind him moved like a ghost, dancing in the night breeze. Bayard took a step back, towards the shadows. Gaius was too dazed to react.

-Do not follow me, physician." the king whispered from the darkness, voice monotonic. His words were more like a statement than a threat.

Lord Bayard left the room through one secret side door that was rarely used. Gaius kept his wide eyes scanning the shadows for a long time before he dared to move.

Then a loud, shaky gasp broke the silence and made Gaius almost jump out of his skin. The physician whirled around, in time to see Arthur jerking awake, eyes snapping widely open and his body bolting up to sit.

Heart banging for the scare, Gaius stared wide-eyed at the prince. For a moment, there was complete blankness in the prince's eyes, but then they were suddenly full of confusion and fright.  
>Arthur took heavy, ragged breaths and looked wildly around but not seeing anything.<p>

-Sire?" Gaius asked carefully, tensed. Arthur seemed to notice him just then. He turned sharply to look at the physician, looking uncharacteristically scared. -G...-Gaius?" Arthur's raspy voice breathed out. Gaius' eyebrows deepened - he sensed something wasn't right. But now it was not the time for that.

The physician nodded calmingly to the pince and walked closer. -Yes, Arthur, I'm here. Are you alright?"

Arthur took deep breaths once again he was slightly shaking, looking pale. -I...I think so..."  
>His hand flew to his chest, and his face twisted into slightly pained one. Gaius immediately came closer. -Are you wounded, Sire?" he hissed, the image of the knife freshly in his memory.<p>

Arthur pressed his fingers agains the exact spot where the knife had been and shook his head slowly. -No...No I'm not. At least there isn't any wound...I'm not bleeding, am I?"

-No, you're not." Gaius said reassuringly, and took a relieved breath. So the prince was alive and there wasn't any sign of a stabbing wound anywhere - marvellous. Even if it seemed impossible and crazy, Arthur was very much alive. Whatever that knife had done to him, it hadn't killed him.

Arthur calmed down a bit, taking a few breaths. He still seemed very disoriented and anxious, like he didn't comprehend where he was or what he was doing. But despite of that, he tried to function as best as he could. The prince took one, deep breath and asked: -Where are my knights and the guards?"

-Sir Leon is on his way to inform them about this." Gaius answered, still scanning intently the prince.

Arthur glanced at the room, now actually fixing his eyes to something. He looked rather shaken. -What happened...? The room is a mess...Merlin won't be too happy."

Gaius' heart instantly skipped a beat. _Merlin...Merlin! _It was then when he immediately remembered the disturbing silence from the other side of the bed. _ Why didn't he wake up? _When Gaius took a sharp breath and his eyes darted to Merlin's still unmoving form, Arthur turned his head just in time to spot Merlin lying next to him.

-Merlin?" Arthur said, voice pitching suddenly. His servant was lying face down, partly on the bed and partly on the floor, his hand still reached towards Arthur. It didn't take long before Arthur's surprise turned into concern and he placed a hand to Merlin's shoulder, shaking him carefully.

-Merlin?" the prince called and his voice got more tense. Merlin didn't respond. Arthur turned to Gaius, worry in his features. -What...what's wrong with him?"

The physician walked around the bed, while Arthur crawled closer on the bed in an very un-princely way. He shook Merlin once again. -Come on, wake up you idiot." Arthur said quietly but his voice lacked its usual teasy tone. Gaius looked at his ward, bad feeling growing. If Arthur wasn't dead, and Merlin had done the limbo spell...It probably meant that Arthur had been in limbo, too. Merlin had tried to follow him there. And if the prince has just woken up from it and got somehow back to the real world, why hadn't Merlin? Gaius' heart sank.

Arthur tilted his head, searching any sign of movement, but there was nothing. His jaw tightened. Without saying a word, Arthur leant forward and lifted Merlin up like he weighed as much as a feather, and placed him properly to the bed. For a moment, Arthur eyed Merlin - his bandaged hand and the wound in his neck, the concern in his face deepening. Arthur squeezed Merlin's healthy arm, but got no response.

-Why isn't he waking up?" Arthur mumbled, distress in his voice.

Then Arthur's fingers slided slowly to Merlin's wrist, pressing the skin. The prince's breathing started to become rapid and his eyes widened a bit more. He crouched lower and placed his hand over Merlin's mouth. Then he looked up to Gaius, a spark of panic in his wide eyes.

-He's...he's not breathing, Gaius. What the hell has happened here?"

* * *

><p>Merlin's head was still spinning and he felt muddled by the limbo, messing his thoughts and making him lose the track of time and space. He was still lying on the floor of the Court Hall, except Arthur and Lemura weren't there anymore.<p>

He was alone and his head was a mix of unfinished thoughts and conclusions. There was one thing he knew, however, and that was the fact that Arthur had made a deal. With Lemura. And it was bad, very bad, probably catastrophic. If Merlin could feel any emotions properly, he'd feel anger and fear. But right now, there was no time for that. He had to prioritize.

_I need to get out of here. And fast. I need to get back to Camelot. _Merlin concentrated on Arthur for a while - but he got nothing. _He's not here anymore._ A sharp sting of panic hit him.

_He didn't...pass on, right? Oh God. That can't be what the deal was about? _ But then Merlin forced himself to calm down._ No. Arthur would never do that. Because what's the point in that? _

Merlin took a deep breath and sat up, with his head still spinning and ears ringing. _Alright, if he is not here and he is not dead either, he must be back in the real world. _The thought seemed comforting and relieving. Even if he had no idea how the prince could have gone back, he had been stabbed after all...The memory made Merlin flinch.

_Concentrate._ Merlin took another deep breath and slowly stood up. He closed his eyes and tried carefully gathering some of his magic. However, it responded to him easily and didn't struggle at all like before. Merlin sent his magic towards the walls of limbo, trying to get a sense of the other side. It was misty and blurry, and it took a lot of time and effort, but Merlin managed to get the most vague feeling of the prince again.

Huge relief washed over him. _Arthur's alive. He's back in the real world._

He could finally leave this haunting place. He just hoped the time hadn't passed as inregularly as it had the time before. And he had been here a lot longer than the previous time...

-Going somewhere?" a voice said, breaking the silence.

Merlin's eyes snapped open and he found Lemura walking closer, hands behind her back. Merlin's face darkened. She lifted an eyebrow.

-You truly are a nuisance. Do you think you can come and go as you please? That's not how this works, and you people with magic don't seem to care about the rules. Always so smug and cocky. I've never really fancied people like you."

Merlin just closed his eyes, ignoring her. He stared to enchant the spell quickly.

-Ah, you can go back. Sure. I won't be stopping you. Because you're useless now, just wait and see." Lemura said.

Merlin tried to push her voice out of his mind, but couldn't. The limbo was already getting more and more distant.

-Oh you are not talking? That's fine, Emrys. I already have drained most of your memories. All the important ones, at least." Her voice got laced with a hint of satisfaction. -Go, now, Emrys. I keep my promises, and I happened to be in a good mood right now. Good day in the office and all. I will enjoy watching your visit to the land of make-believe, illusion and ghosts. We will meet again."

And then Merlin couldn't hear her anymore, it was like she would have let go of him freely and her ominous words were barely an echo now. He was slipping further and further back, already starting to feel his own body. It took a while and felt like he was going through a maelstrom, but then, the limbo let go of him.

* * *

><p>Merlin took a shuddering, sharp breath when he fully crashed back to his body and shivers went through him. He opened his eyes, gasping air. His vision was blurry and his head felt like it was filled with porridge.<p>

Merlin blinked several times, and the first thing he realized was the fact that he was lying on somewhere soft. A lot softer than his own bed, which seemed odd. The pain in his fingers, wrist and neck increased all the time. Merlin hadn't even remembered how injured he was in the real world.

When he had fully let go of limbo and was now completely present, he immediately noticed something. It was like a dizzying smack to his face, an overwhelming sensation - it seemed like his magic, his senses and his instincts noticed it at the same time. They all sharpened from dull to razor in a one second and his magic rushed forward, almost starting to boil inside his veins. It made his heart skip a beat and his breathing to stop. Something was _wrong_. Different. Out of place. It was like his whole body would have been out of place somehow - even if there weren't any actual pain. It was the weirdest sensation - he had never felt anything like it before.

It faintly reminded him about the sleeping spell Morgause had planted over Camelot. The way the air tasted wrong, the light seemed wrong, a bad omen hanging in the atmosphere...It was like he were having a nightmare and he could acknowledge that even during it, but couldn't break away from it. It made his stomach churn - it was everywhere around him, this odd feeling.

-Merlin?" a familiar voice called distantly. Merlin was cut off from his quick and disturbing thoughts, and he let out a breath he had been holding. Merlin blinked several times. A familiar shape was there beside him, and it took a moment to his eyes to adjust. White shirt, blond hair...

-Arthur?" Merlin mumbled, flinching for the pain that talking caused to the wound on his neck. The prince looked pale and shaken. He was staring at Merlin with wide eyes. Merlin's heart rejoiced the fact that Arthur looked very much alive.

-Are you alright?" Arthur asked quietly, uncharacteristically quiet and sincere.

Merlin had to blink and look around a bit - and realized that Arthur was in fact kneeling next to him, and that they were in the prince's chambers. More importantly, they were on Arthur's bed. Merlin automatically tried to sit up, but Arthur pushed him back with one hand.

-No." the prince said, but he still looked wary. -Just...stay there for awhile. Gaius said that you shouldn't get up if you woke up." Arthur said, looking spooked and uncertain.

It took a moment before Merlin remembered the last moments in the real world._ Leaving Larva's room...Room messed up...Arthur lying on the bed...A knife... _Suddenly, panic hit Merlin. _The knife._ He gasped and turned his head towards Arthur, panic rising, and scanned him with wide eyes. Arthur's brows furrowed and he looked confused.

-Merlin, is there something wr..."

-You were stabbed. I...I saw it...You w-were stabbed." Merlin stuttered and searched frantically the wound that should have been there.

Arthur shook his head, confused yet still so uncharacteristically careful with his tone. -Merlin, are you sure you didn't hit your head when Bayard attacked you?"

Merlin shook his head fiercely and struggled to sit up. This time, Arthur let him. His head spun a bit, but Merlin refused to think about it right now. -No..." He breathed out. -I'm sure of it. The guards had been killed and..."

-Sire?" Sir Leon's voice said, interrupting Merlin's ramble. The knight was standing in the doorway, several guards standing behind him. Arthur turned his head towards them.  
>-The guards have now been doubled and replaced around your chambers and the whole wing. We have gathered the bodies and took them away. Three servants will clean up the room and all of the other knights have been sent to search for the attacker."<p>

Arthur nodded. He looked like he didn't fully comprehend what was said to him. There was an oddly haunted look on the prince's face.  
>-Good." he replied with a tensed voice. Sir Leon made a small bow and left the room. The prince turned to look at Merlin. His eyes were still wide, like there was something constantly shocking him a little, but he tried not to think about it.<p>

Merlin blinked several times and stared at the small cut on Arthur's shirt. There it was. But no blood. No wound. Arthur looked fine. _Is he fine? Is he truly alright? What the hell happened? _Merlin's heart was beating frantically, and the odd, bad feeling in the air made him feel so much worse. Everything was so messed up right now. _Nothing _made sense.  
>Slowly, the room started to spin around him and Merlin felt exhausted, drained. He took a breath and fell back to the bed, drawing Arthur's full attention again.<p>

-Merlin?" Arthur asked, wary. Merlin squeezed his eyes shut.  
>-I'm fine...Just...need a little time to rest." he said. He didn't even care about the fact that he was lying on Arthur's royal bed, something he hadn't ever done before. Merlin felt too light-headed to worry about it right now.<p>

-Are you sure?"

-Yes, Arthur...I'm sure." Merlin mumbled. -Just give me a moment."

Arthur didn't answer but got up from the bed.

Merlin was glad for the silence. Because there were so much things bothering him - most of all, he felt unnatural. His fingers ached badly. So did his back where he had received two of Bayard's loud kicks. And his wrist was hurting. Not to even mention his neck, where the cut wound could be felt with every breath, stinging the skin.  
>Also, he felt dizzy and disoriented. Strengthless. It seemed that his body weighed like lead. It was just like the times when he had got himself hurt on a hunt or the training field - when he had lost some blood.<p>

_Blood. I lost quite a lot blood when Bayard cut the wound on my throat...But I healed it, forced the wound to close. I shouldn't be this tired...Not all of a sudden..._

Merlin felt a chilly breeze on his cheek, coming from the open windows. Even if it felt so good to just feel again, he didn't pay much attention to it. He had to conciously concentrate on keeping himself awake. _I didn't feel this bad before. After the attack and all. It couldn't have been just the adrenaline..._

Merlin tried to think logically. Come to to think about it - he should have been in a much worse condition after Bayard's attack. Maybe Gaius and Arthur had been fooled by that too, they had been watching him some time after it - like waiting for him to collapse. But it had never happened. He had been fine. Merlin remembered thinking about this same, almost miraculous healing thing right after meeting Larva.

There was also another thing Merlin realized - he hadn't been sleeping once after he got back from the limbo. He had been drugged to sleep, which really wasn't the same thing...But that couldn't matter so much because no one else hadn't been really sleeping in a while. Arthur and Gaius, for example. It seemed like everyone had just refused to go to sleep. Like that would be any help...

It seemed like he was holding hundreds of different puzzle pieces but he didn't have any idea how they fit together. Or which of them even were a part of this whole mystery.

Merlin was glad that he could feel and think again clearly after the limbo - but entering the real world shouldn't have meant exhaustion and physical pain. Merlin felt how he started to drift to sleep, even if he knew he couldn't. There were too much unsolved problems and unanswered questions at hand. He was in slight panic, really, knowing Arthur had been stabbed and they had been in the limbo, and oh God, Arthur had a made _a deal_...

Wait, the deal. He had to find out what that had been all about...Because it was bad news. _I need to talk to Arthur..._

And he had a burning urge to do so. But everything seemed worthless against the fact that the whole world around seemed different. Critically different, twisted somehow. Merlin bit his lip to stay awake but it was getting harder and harder.

-Arthur..." Merlin muttered, hoping that the prince would start talking. Anything that would keep him awake. Because he felt like he was too exhausted to even a lift a finger. Arthur was acting oddly, Merlin had noticed right away.

But the prince didn't hear or didn't react. Merlin forced his eyelids open, and saw that Arthur was standing in the middle of the room, eyes transfixed to a wall. His eyes were wide, and his mouth slightly open. His hands were clutched to fists, and they were shaking.

Something was wrong with him. There was no doubt about it. So with every remaining bit of strength, Merlin managed to push himself to sit on the bed. It took awhile before the room stopped spinning and the wave of nausea passed, but then his eyesight cleared.

-Arthur?" Merlin called. The prince didn't react in any way. Merlin felt slightly frustrated.  
>-Arthur!" he said louder. This time, the prince stirred and looked around like he would have been whacked to the head. He turned towards Merlin. His face was filled with confusion, anxiety and something unreadable.<p>

-What...what happened to you?" Merlin breathed out.

Arthur looked away instantly, flinching. -That's not important right now. How are you feeling? And how did you end up there in the first place?" he said, not sounding like himself. He acted nothing like himself, he was...scared? And avoiding?

Merlin shook his head. -Yes it _is_ important. I'm...fine. Been better, but I'm fine. I came looking for you and found you here..." his voice faded. _Dead._ But no, Arthur hadn't obviously been dead, because he had been in limbo. Which still made no sense, because there were only one trace that the knife had actually been there at all.

Fortunately the timelines hadn't messed up as badly as before, which seemed kind of strange. Merlin was quite sure Arthur hadn't been much more longer awake than him. It was clear that they both had been out like mere minutes than days.

Nothing made sense. Nothing. Merlin was getting rather sick of it.

-What happened after you talked to Lord Bayard, Arthur?" Merlin asked.

The prince's eyes darted wildly, fixed to the floor - something that looked both odd and un-royal thing to do. _Arthur's not acting like himself.  
><em>Merlin tried to focus on the prince, because the exhaustion was trying to get a hold of him again. Merlin felt sick - not just because of the injuries he had...it was something else. Something was very, very wrong in general, and he was absolutely certain of it.

-I...I...talked to Bayard." Arthur said. -Yes. I invited him to my chambers because I wanted to question him. I asked if it was true that he had attacked you, and he said no. He denied ever seeing you or Elyan, and claimed that he was a king and wouldn't have any reason to attack a servant or have a knight as an ally. He acted just like himself. Then, I finally said he could leave..." Arthur's voice drifted away.

-What then?" Merlin asked tiredly, biting his lip to keep his eyes open.

Arthur looked away once again, clutching his fingers together like an ashamed boy. He squeezed his eyes shut like he had trouble remembering. -Then...I went to sleep."

Merlin raised an eyebrow. -To sleep? Just like that?"

Arthur's brows furrowed, and he looked more and more confused. -Yes. Just like that." He shook his head angrily. -I don't know. I was just tired, and I hadn't slept in days and properly in weeks..."

Of course Merlin knew Arthur had been exhausted and barely sleeping in ages, but it still seemed odd that he had simply gone to sleep. After everything that had happened. The more Merlin thought about it, the less it made sense. Arthur had been rather upset about Bayard and Elyan attacking them both. He had been determined to find out what had happened - going to sleep didn't really fit the picture.

Merlin tried to concentrate harder, but he felt how he was slowly losing the fight against exhaustion. Cursing himself, Merlin lowered himself back to the bed, wanting nothing more than to get up and think this whole thing through, but he couldn't. He just felt beaten, injured, suffering from blood-loss and sleep deprivation and...wrong. He had no strength left in his body.

Merlin tried to keep his eyes open, to keep them fixed on the ceiling, but his eyelids started to slid close. Merlin hated and even feared the feeling of not controlling his body, just like his magic before. _Arthur was stabbed but he didn't die. The timelines weren't messed up when we were in limbo. Everything in the world seems wrong and different, like the world would be out of place. My magic is almost boiling...Arthur made a deal with Lemura. What is the connection between these things?  
><em>

Merlin started to feel rather disturbed by the fact that he wasn't doing well. So, reluctantly, he mumbled: -Arthur...Where's Gaius? I think...there is something wrong with me."

Arthur was by his side in no time. No matter how much Merlin hated admitting that he wasn't alright, he couldn't open his eyes anymore.  
>-What do you mean something's wrong?" the prince asked, and his voice was suddenly sharper than before. Merlin swallowed. -I'm..." but his voice faded away. Merlin was already slipping out of conciousness.<p>

But then Arthur shook him and Merlin was drawn back. -Mer_lin._ What's wrong? And don't you dare to faint on me." the prince said, sounding a bit more like himself, but his voice lacked strength. Instead, it had hints of...guilt?

Even in his catatonic state, Merlin noticed it. He knew there had to be connection with Arthur acting all shaken and frightened and between the overwhelming twisted sensation Merlin was getting from the real world. Something was wrong, but he didn't have any idea how or why. The one thing he did know that there was nothing that could keep him awake much longer.

-...mm sorr-y. Arthur." Merlin mumbled slowly._  
>-<em>Merlin." Arthur's alarmed voice called, demanding. Distantly Merlin realized Arthur was shaking him lightly again, but couldn't really feel it anymore. Arthur's voice was getting distant, even if it sounded more and more panicked.

-Merlin..." The prince whispered, clasping his fingers around Merlin's arm. -I have done something very, very bad."

Then, Merlin succumbed into the darkness.


	13. Chapter 12

Hey!

After two weeks of insanely busy school work and a fever/flu sickness (and losing my voice for several days), I finally had the time to write this and publish it. :) Also, I got caught up doing all kinds of fan-things, first of all a short oneshot called ' Destiny's chokehold'. So if you're interested, it can be found on my profile. Then secondly, I also made a video which I'll post to Youtube after the finale. I can share the link later on. So sorry for the delay, even it was for a good reason. :)

And guys...I'm really exited and also very worried about the season finale. I don't know if any of you have followed the fandom or the several discussions about the last episode, but they all seem pretty scary to me. But there is one thing that people agree on - they wait the season finale more than Christmas. :D

Oh well. We'll just have to wait and see. Here is chapter twelve. Please share your thoughts.:)

Story: Jetsam (Chapter twelve)

by:** Niphrehdil**

* * *

><p>Cold. It was cold.<p>

-Merlin." a faint, gentle voice called. Merlin tried to find the source of it, but couldn't.

-Merlin. I miss you." the voice said. It took a fleeting moment for Merlin to realize who it was. Instantly, he felt a familiar sting of loneliness. _Freya._

Her sweet voice was calling for him. _This is a dream. It's not really happening. _

Suddenly, Merlin found himself standing in the shore of the lake; her lake. Just like that, he appeared there. It wasn't logical or normal, but he couldn't really pay attention to that. Freya's presence was all around him, even if he couldn't see her. Somehow the air was filled with overwhelming feeling of love and caring, it was almost asphyxiating.

Merlin wanted to understand. Even if this was a dream and he had dreamt of Freya before, it had never felt like this. Like actually felt like something, so strongly that it was almost unnatural. It was like he could smell her scent, her hair...  
>And it made his heart ache so badly. It had been so long time ago...<p>

Then, slowly, she rose from the water like a nymph, water dripping off. Her hair wet, she still looked so beautiful, and reached her hand towards Merlin. She flashed a warm smile. Merlin's face dropped. This wasn't real, this was just a dream. She would be gone when he'd woke up.

Merlin stepped to the shallow water, closer to her. -Merlin, I want to be with you again." Freya said quietly.  
>Merlin took a shuddering, painful breath. -No. I'm sorry but this isn't real." he whispered to her. -It's nothing but a dream. I'm sleeping."<p>

Freya shook her head and smiled even more widely. -No, Merlin. This is real. Or at least part of it is. You can have me back."

Merlin looked at her, confused. Tensing a little. -How?" He shook his head. -That is not possible."

Freya tilted her head. A faint breeze of a wind went through the empty space separating them. The water shivered under its touch. She locked eyes with him. Her gaze under her long eyelashes was intense and sharp.  
>-No it's not. There is someone who can make it happen. But you have to play by the rules. Soul for a soul, life for a life."<p>

Merlin furrowed his brows, taking one step back. A bad feeling started to grow. He could barely remember why this should be a bad thing, he just knew it was. Being asleep made his head a bit muddy. The dream seemed to take pace somehow.

She took one step further. -Merlin, you can do it. Make a trade. You'll have me back, you can right the wrong that was done. I'll live again and all your dreams will come true." She murmured. Too dreamily.

Merlin looked at her, more and more confused. There was something that seemed odd about her. She had never seemed bitter about what had happened to her. She wasn't like this. Merlin shook his head.

-I can't do that...It wouldn't be right. It would mean sacrificing someone else, wouldn't it?" he answered camly, studying her carefully.

Her face darkened. Suddenly she didn't look anything like herself at all. Cold and bitter...suddenly she reminded him about Morgana. -Yes it would but you loved me." she hissed. -You want me back, you would give everything to bring me back to life."

It was the moment Merlin knew this wasn't the real Freya. Even if it was a dream, it wasn't her.

-Merlin!" Someone shouted and Merlin startled, turning around. Will was standing on the lake shore. He was eyeing Merlin with an unreadable face. -You need to bring me back to life, too. I was your best friend. I still am. I knew who you really are, unlike that prince. I can be brought back, you know. Then you can come back to Ealdor, maybe with Freya, and you can settle down. Live a happy, simple life with your mother around."

Merlin felt the urge to back away. But he was between Freya and Will that both didn't seem like how he remembered them. A small wave of nausea filled Merlin - there was something off with this. The dream, this situation, these people...They weren't real - in any way. It seemed like the dream was adding pressure on him all the time - like forcing him to want what these two people suggested. Like someone was slowly starting to press on his throat, and air got harder and harder to get.

-You need to make a trade. Today, until midnight. It is your last chance." Freya said gently from behind him. Too gently, her tone was laced with sugar and persuasion. A shiver went through Merlin, like he would be feverish. And it almost felt like he was - the emotions and feelings were too sharp or too dull - it was like his dream was messing with his head. _Just like limbo._

-You're both gone." Merlin muttered, something between sad and confused.

Will smiled. -Of course we are. That's the reason you need to bring us back, Merlin." There was something eerie in the way he stepped forward. Merlin couldn't help but to be reminded of the effect of four walls closing in. Like an answer to his messy thoughts, Freya stepped closer, water drippling from her. She stepped to the shallow water.

Merlin squeezed his eyes tightly. _This isn't real. This is a dream. Now let go of it._

Adrenaline started to rush inside his head, pumping loudly. Merlin could feel an ice-cold, wet hand on his arm. It sent shivers through him, making him tremble and flinch. The dream had taken a scary turn now - the atmosphere was completely gone. Something tried to crawl inside his mind, his own will, to accept all of this.

-You will want us back." Will whispered, the ghostly breeze of his nonexistent breathing brushing Merlin's ear. Merlin felt sick and disoriented, grossed by the touch of the dead ones. _It's a bad, odd dream. Wake up now._  
>-Me...Freya...Balinor..." Will muttered. -Everyone you lost. All you need to do is the trade. You just need to let go of it. Turn your sanity off, and let your pent-up emotions flow freely - you will <em>want <em>us back."

Merlin felt disgusted rush of magic building inside of him. His heart was torn between the loss of his loved ones and the knowledge that they were cold, dead and not anything like themselves. And that this was a dream. And there was something seriously wrong in it.

The worst part of it was that it seemed impossible to wake up from it, even if he felt so aware and was absolute sure he could remember all of this afterwards. He felt like he was locked inside himself, unable to open his eyes and just wake up.

The atmosphere of love was fake. These memories and these images of his lost loved ones were fake. Everything was fake - down to the very roots of the whole dream. It was a sick and twisted reflection of something...something he couldn't name. It tried to enchant him to stay, to believe the words that were whispered to his ear - and most of all, obey.  
>He could feel how a desperate need to get Freya and Will back was forming inside his forehead - but it felt strange - like it was a planted obsession. He wanted it badly but then again he had no wish to do so. Everything was confusing and eerie and fake.<p>

Freya's bony, damp fingers curled tightly around Merlin's arm.

Her nails dug into his skin.

* * *

><p>Arthur stood in the middle of the physician's chambers. Frozen. He hadn't moved for an half an hour.<p>

Gaius studied the prince carefully from where he was sitting. Arthur looked shaken, pale. His hands were clutched to fists, his knuckles had turned white. He was staring into nothingness.

Fortunately Lancelot had been transferred to his own chambers, as he was doing much better already. The room seemed even more emptier without him.

The old physician bit his lip. There was a contanst battle of pity and anger inside him - he didn't know which one was more dominant right now. Because something was wrong, and it wasn't just the insane situation with the plague that had clearly gotten out of hand long time ago. It wasn't about Merlin, lying unmoving on the bed once again. It wasn't even about Arthur or his seemingly impossible recovery of a blade stabbed through his heart.

No. It was in the air. The way light bent and moved, the way candles looked like. The way people were suddenly restless - everyone was sensing this on a some level. People with magic felt it even more strongly.  
>Something was <em>wrong. <em>It wasn't just a fleeting anxiety or a bad feeling that could be forgotten if the situation was changed - it was this constant, looming pressure everywhere around him. Even if Gaius tried not to focus on it, it kept banging at the edge of his mind. Like an endless banging of a locked door. It reminded of itself every time he shifted or inhaled. Every time he blinked his eyes.

It was like the dark shadow at the edge of your vision that you could never see properly but it was always there. Crawling closer, growing stronger in the darkness. Because if Gaius was sure of one thing - it was the fact that whatever it was, it wasn't good. Worry strangled the old physician's heart as he eyed Merlin - the young boy had - according to Arthur - woken up but not long after that, just claimed that there was something wrong with him, and then fell asleep or unconcious. Gaius wasn't sure which it was - because techincally, Merlin hadn't been sleeping in almost three weeks. Being in limbo and getting sedated by sleeping draughts couldn't really be called sleeping. Then again, he nor Arthur hadn't been barely sleeping at all, either.

Gaius worried for Merlin. If he could sense this odd feeling, it was clear that also Merlin could feel it. Probably much more strongly too. The unspoken question lingered - had it been this odd, new shift in the world around them that had caused Merlin's sudden collapse?  
>Of course it was clear that Merlin wasn't in the best condition right now anyway, but he had been rather fine. Merlin always healed quickly, probably thanks to his magic.<p>

But most of all, Gaius was worried about Arthur. The prince hadn't said anything after Gaius had managed to get a very confused, scared and shaky explanation from him of what had happened. Arthur had been literally shaking, and he had looked paler than Merlin, eyes wide and full of uncharacteristic raw shock.

The prince had just stood there, looking tensed. His breathing had been a bit too quick for Gaius' liking, and for a moment the physician had thought Arthur was falling into actual panic. He had been staring at Merlin like he was some kind of lifeline - who of course couldn't respond right now. Gaius had warily asked the prince to move away, claiming he need some space to work. Arthur had backed away, eyes flickering from him to Merlin and to the floor. Then he had stopped and turned towards the fireplace, and hadn't moved ever since. His breathing had calmed down, but it sounded unnatural and too controlled. Like Arthur had to conciously think about every drawn breath.

Gaius wasn't a fool. He knew the prince was on the verge of complete and overwhelming panic - he knew the symptoms. The unknown reason, however, scared him. It clearly wasn't just about Merlin.  
>The physician had no idea whether Arthur remembered limbo or not, or that he had been stabbed. But something had happened, something so bad, that it had striked to the very roots of Arthur's mind.<br>And Pendragons could never be driven easily to this state.

Guards came in and asked for orders, but Gaius told them to go to Leon and do whatever the humble knight told them to. Arthur hadn't seemed to hear or see the guards, and the guards didn't dare to bother their Regent.

Gaius postponed talking. He wanted to break the heavy silence on the room. He wanted to ask Arthur what was this all about, and why had Bayard sneaked into the room and been able to take the blade without harming himself in the slightest. Gaius still had slight burns on his own reminding about the strange blade. He had tried to follow Bayard when he had left Arthur's chambers earlier, but the king of Mercia was nowhere to be seen. The memory of Bayard made Gaius shiver. Those dead, emotionless eyes staring back at him...

They needed answers. Soon. The whole kingdom of Camelot was slowly sliding to a maelstorm - the plague was destroying the minds of the commoners, while the very core wasn't doing any better.

Gaius licked his lips. -Sire..." he called with a soft tone. Arthur didn't seem to hear.

The silence was so deep and heavy.

-Sire?" he tried again, tilting his head while trying to get a climpse of the partly hidden face of the prince. He got no response.

Gaius sighed. -Arthur?" he said, now more demandingly, pronouncing the prince's name clearly. Arthur flinched a bit, like he was suddenly dragged back from somewhere far, far away.

He turned his head slowly towards the physician, like it was hard to focus. Gaius studied him carefully. Arthur looked like he had seen a ghost.

-Merlin." the prince mumbled suddenly, and he looked even more frightened.

Gaius shook his head fiercely. -No. Merlin is fine, don't worry. He will wake up soon enough." the physician assured. Arthur seemed to calm down a fraction, but his eyes were full of sharp emotions. Fear. Confusion. Anxiety.

Worry. Guilt?

Arthur glanced at Merlin, then back to Gaius. The physician stood up slowly, careful not to move too quickly. The prince kept staring at him. Gaius took one step further, raising his hands to mid-air.

-Sire, are you alright?" he asked gently, like he used to talk to Arthur when had been a child.

Arthur didn't seem to comprehend. He kept staring. After a moment, he took a breath. -Was my mother a good person?" he whispered.

Gaius raised an eyebrow - he certainly wasn't expecting to hear that. The old physician took a breath and shifted his weight. The shadows of the fireplace filled the room.  
>-Yes, Sire. I thought she was a wonderful person and a very good queen."<p>

Arthur's eyes glistened in the light of the fireplace and candles. -Did she ever lose anyone?"

Gaius was even more confused. -I...don't know for sure. I don't think she did. Sire, may I ask you why this suddenly is puzzling you?"

Arthur looked sharply away, like wanting to hide his face. The sudden movement made Gaius jump a little in his place. They were quiet for a long time, the physician too wary to push it.

-Have you ever lost someone important?" Arthur asked, his voice sounding thick and pained. The prince crossed his arms, like protecting himself. Like he was cold.

Gaius tilted his head, taking one step closer. -Yes, plenty of people. But I am rather old, Sire. It's natural that some of them had passed. Even if there were few that died in violent circumstances..."

But Arthur cut him off, almost passionately. -Are you afraid that you'll lose someone? Who is the one you would mourn the most?"

Gaius was rather surprised to hear such a personal question. He decided to answer anyway. -Merlin, Sire. If such horrific thing would happen, I would mourn him the most."

Arthur closed his eyes and nodded. The odd moment lingered. Arthur didn't open his eyes. -What about my father?"

Gaius wasn't sure where this was going or what Arthur was aiming at, but he continued. -I consider him first and foremost as my king, but he is also my friend, I dare to say. On a some level, in our own way, I think." he replied honestly.

Arthur opened his eyes and turned to look at him. -What do you think of me having Merlin as my servant? Do you wish he would be just your apprentice?"

Now Gaius actually gasped for the sudden, unexpected question. But Arthur didn't take his words back, he just locked eyes with the physician and waited.

-I...admit that sometimes I wish he could be more here with me during the days. And he has been in endangering situations from time to time, but I think that isn't my choice to make. Even if it was Uther that first made Merlin your servant, it isn't about that anymore. I think you know it too, Arthur. He could have quit countless times already if he wanted to, but he hasn't." Gaius tilted his head as he studied the prince's face filled with emotions.

Arthur took mute, heavy breaths and seemed to have various thoughts invading his head. His blue, big eyes glistened in the light. He looked so vulnerable right now - more like a lost boy than a Regent. He shook his head like trying to shake off the confusion.

-I'm so sorry." Arthur suddenly breathed out, like he was running out of air. His eyes darted on the floor now.

-For what, Sire?" Gaius asked with a soft, quiet voice.

Arthur turned to look at him. For the first time during that disturbing night, Arthur face shone pure horror. It was unmasked, raw, and filled with such sharp and honest emotions that it made Gaius wince. Arthur wasn't afraid - he was terrified, in the verge of panic and a breakdown. Something serious had happened.

Things clicked. _Click. _Suddenly Gaius knew for sure that this odd feeling everywhere around him was linked to the very reason the prince was acting like a beaten dog. The fear, the anxiety, the odd questions and the prince's inability to keep himself together - it was all just a proof of it now. Arthur knew something no one else didn't, and it was eating him from inside out.

And with that quick but devastating realization, Gaius knew the situation had just blown up to their hands.

* * *

><p>When Merlin slowly started to gain awareness, he felt awful. His head was a fussy mess and the wound and the bruises were aching rather unpleasantly. He slowly took in the voices and the sounds - fire. Breathing. Familiar voices, some closer, some further. Merlin couldn't shake off the unnerving memory of the dream. He could still feel Freya's skeletonic fingers around his arm, Will's whispered words brushing the skin on his left ear.<p>

Merlin blinked several times before he managed to open his eyes completely. The moment he did, he felt the suffocating, disturbing feeling again that he had felt when he had gotten back to limbo. It was like the world was dislocated somehow, off the tracks. Bending to the side when it was supposed to go straight forward.

Merlin tried to examine the feeling, but it was too distant and yet too overwhelming. It was everywhere around him and yet nowhere. It was like the most vague sense of the world around you that had suddenly started screaming to your ear.

Memories of the limbo and the brief conversation with Arthur came back to him. Merlin suddenly remembered everything - the blade, Arthur's odd behaviour and something about a deal of some kind. And Larva, Lemura...Bayard.  
>Merlin wanted to bolt upright and rush to find Arthur or Larva to figure some of it out. But as he tried to sit up, he couldn't help but to hiss from the throbbing headache that hit him instantly.<br>Somehow, he did feel a bit better than before anyhow. He felt like he could stay awake now, and he wasn't feeling so exhausted than before. It was almost too good to be true - which made him suspect that Gaius had something to do with it. With magic, naturally.

Merlin struggled to sit up, taking support from the side of the bed. He had been lying on it too often to his own liking. When his eyesight adjusted, he saw Gaius and Arthur standing in the middle of the room. The prince had wrapped his own arms around himself and Gaius looked tensed, standing so awkwardly. For a moment, Merlin just eyed them. He couldn't see Gaius's face, but it wasn't the one who caught his attention. It was Arthur.

Merlin instantly knew something was terribly wrong - he had_ never_ seen Arthur like that before. The prince's face, eyes, posture - everything suggested that he was badly shaken. It wasn't just odd behaviour now, it was a clear indication of fear and being upset about something. The constant sense of the world seemind different and twisted seemed to highlight it. It seemed it had gotten even stronger during the time he had been sleeping.

Suddenly the others seemed to hear that he had woken up. They both turned to look at him, worry written in their faces. After a second, Arthur's face turned even paler and had a slight hint of grey in it. He looked sick and he looked instantly away and to the floor, taking a heavy breath and eyes widening, like he was trying to keep himself together from falling to panic.

And Arthur panicking could not be good, because it had never happened before. Never, even in the most fearsome and despaired situations.

Gaius was there by his side in no time, asking questions from him. But Merlin didn't hear - all he could do was to stare at Arthur. _This is about the deal. You know something, don't you? Lemura made you a deal in limbo and it was something really, really bad..._

Merlin swallowed. Gaius squeezed his arm rather demandingly to get his attention. Merlin turned to him. Gaius looked at his ward. With few, mouthed words his eyes flashed gold and Merlin felt a warm, healing wave going through him, mending his injuries and clearing his head. Gaius might not have been a particularly strong sorcerer, but healing magic was his speciality. It was almost ironic, when Merlin was pretty miserable with it. The quick spell worked wonders, though - Merlin felt instantly better and glanced quickly towards Arthur, but the prince hadn't noticed anything.

-Thank you, Gaius." Merlin mumbled.

-You're still recovering." Gaius whispered, barely audible, giving him a sharp look. -Keep that in mind. But for now, we need to find out what has happened."

Merlin nodded and reached for a water cup from the table, not tearing his eyes away from the prince. Arthur was still looking away, hands shaking badly. Gaius, however, suddenly looked very determined.

Slowly, he stood up and lifted his chin high, looking the most powerful person in the room right now.

-Sire, I think I need to shed some light on some of the things I managed to find out about Elyan. Also, I think we need to discuss what happened earlier when you were clearly attacked." he said with a calm voice.

Arthur glanced sideways but didn't look at him. He kept squeezing his hands together to easen the shaking, eyes still wide and his breathing sounding too controlled. He didn't say anything.

Gaius took a deep breath. The silence in the room was ominous.

-Sire, Elyan had a reason to attack Lancelot. He had made a deal."

A sound of glass breaking followed his words. Gaius glanced back only to find Merlin's hand in mid-air, fingers curled around a glass that wasn't there anymore. Instead, it was in pieces on the floor. Merlin looked up to the physician, going suddenly paler. There was unmistakable fright on his eyes.

But Gaius continued, anyway. -Elyan had made a deal with a woman. He regretted doing so and had tried to back away from the situation, but he couldn't help it. Elyan has gotten the plague, so to say. He has seen his dead loved ones. Tom, his father, if you recall the blacksmith executed by Uther. And Elyan has seen some of his friends and grandparents, too."

Arthur turned his back on the physician, hiding his face. But clearly he was still listening. His body was tensed.

-This plague drives people mad. They start to kill other people, also the ones they care about. But it's just not insane slaughter, it has a reason." There was a small pause. The tension in the room could almost be cut with a knife. But Gaius kept talking, nonetheless.

-Lancelot told me something about Elyan that caught my attention. He said that Elyan hadn't slept properly in weeks, and refused to rest anymore than necessary."

Merlin shifted nervously behind the physician.

Gaius took a deep breath, taking a step forward towards Arthur. -Sire, I believe this plague spreads through sleep."

Suddenly Merlin gasped and his healthy hand flew to his forehead, the images of Freya and Will flashing in front of his eyes. He suddenly felt sick.

-I found out Elyan had made the deal because he had been haunted by paralyzing nightmares, terrifying dreams and constant sleep deprivation. He started to kill people because this deal forced him to do so. He tried to keep awake as long as he could because of the torment that waited for him in the dream world. But once you have made the deal, there is no going back. Whoever this woman is that makes the deals, 'the wolf' as Elyan kept referring to her...she is dangerous and very, very powerful. I have never seen anything like this before. Black and dark magic is at work here. And this is just a small part of this all."

There was a deadly silence in the room.

-This was something I was coming to tell you both after meeting Elyan in the dungeons. But instead, I found you, Arthur, lying on your bed with a knife sticking out from your heart. And your room looked like there had been an attack."

Gaius crossed his arms. -Sire, I would really appreciate if you told us what exactly happened."


	14. Chapter 13

Hey!

So happy new year to everyone! :) I hope this will be an interesting chapter, at least it was fun to write. :) It has a lot of dialogue and some answers, but it will probably cause even more questions.

Please share your thoughts, it would be especially important to me with this chapter. :)

(Btw, here is the link to the video I made, it's really nothing special but here's the link anyway as I promised: youtube. com /watch?v=gcUYdxbEaq0&feature=channel_video_title)

Story: Jetsam (Chapter thirteen)

by: **Niphrehdil**

* * *

><p>Arthur was quiet for a long time. His back was still turned.<p>

Gaius waited, and didn't say anything. The silence was brooding and omenous.

-I don't remember getting attacked." the prince finally said. His voice was thin and shaky.

-You don't remember? But how is it possible?" Gaius said, tilting his head.

-I was asleep. I went to sleep after I talked to Bayard." Arthur said, once again sounding ashamed, like he had no idea why he had done it in the first place.  
>-I went to sleep because I was so exhausted, even if I had decided to clear some of this mess up. I don't really know why. Then...I had odd dreams. Just like during these past weeks. They felt vivid, almost too vivid..." His voice faded.<p>

Merlin couldn't help but to stare at the prince, breathing getting more and more rapid when he realized that his own twisted dream about Freya and Will wasn't a coincidence. Adrenaline sparkled in his bloodstream. Merlin bit his lip and clenched his healthy hand into a fist.

The prince shook his head and tightened his arms around himself, something that looked very uncharacteristic. -But then...Then suddenly the dreams stopped. Everything was suddenly much more blurrier, weirder...more vague in every way. "

_Limbo_, Merlin thought automatically. How on Earth had Arthur gotten into limbo just like that? It didn't make any sense.

-Then...I relived some of my old memories. They came and went, years and years of memories, thousands of them, some short and small, some long and wide. It felt like they went on and on, endlessly, and I couldn't control any of it. I couldn't choose which memories I saw. I even saw some things that I didn't recognize, and they looked like they had happened long before I was even born." Arthur explained, his voice getting higher and higher, the words coming out quicker and quicker.

-I was stuck in there." Arthur hissed, rambling. He was staring at the floor, like he had forgotten Merlin and Gaius were even there. -It was like being buried alive. It wasn't a dream, it was a prison. Prison of memories that I couldn't escape from. I couldn't wake up, no matter what I did. It felt like years - decades. Time went slowly, it _crawled. _It was torture, torment, I couldn't stand being there, I was suffocating. I felt like I was there for fifteen years, that's how long it felt like. Then _she_ came along."

If it was possible, the atmosphere in the room darkened and tensed even more. But Merlin or Gaius didn't dare to say a word, they were both holding their breaths. Something had driven Arthur into a very unstable state. He was shaking, yet frozen into a tensed posture. He was like in a trance, panic lurking just beneath the surface. Like a string that was drawn tighter and tighter, about to snap every moment. His blue eyes were cloudy but they were fixed on the floor.

-She came along and promised to make all the memories stop if I went with her. I didn't trust her, but I was exhausted. I couldn't take it anymore, so I agreed. She made it all stop, and offered me a chance to choose which memories I wanted to see. And they were all important ones. She showed me numerous things. About my mother, father, Agravaine...Morgana. The night Morgause was taken away from Camelot as a baby. The Great Purge."  
>The prince took a shuddering breath. -And the night I was born." he added, his voice barely audible.<p>

Gaius tensed for that. He glanced at Merlin with a very alarmed look on his face. But now that they had managed to make Arthur talk, they didn't want to interrupt. The light of the candles and the fireplace made shadows dance in the prince's face.

-She said that she could let me out." Arthur continued, his voice raspy. -That she had the power to free me from that horrible place and make me wake up. She told me it was limbo, that I was stuck in there. And that all she wanted was to make a deal."

Merlin turned his head away briefly to push the awful images of it away. He had been there, right there with them, when Lemura had made her way into the depths of Arthur's mind. She knew exactly what to say and to do. Arthur wasn't stupid, but he was rather predictable. That woman didn't even need much effort to nudge the prince to the direction she wanted. It was unnerving how well Lemura ruled the limbo just like a dollhouse. She was the puppet master there, there was no question about it. Slowly Merlin started to realize how completely the prince had been at Lemura's mercy and also, how much in trouble Arthur had been - it was a whole another question how bad he was in now.

And by the looks of it, it certainly didn't look good. Merlin didn't know was he more worried than scared to see Arthur so dangerously on the edge of losing it. The prince's face twisted a little, and now he continued, almost mumbling now.

-I was sure there had to be a catch. Why would she free me without asking anything in return? Instead, her offer included something else. She said...she said she could bring my mother alive. She said that she could change things, to change the past. That my mother wouldn't have died at all, and had been here all this time...I didn't believe her. I said there is no way that you can bring dead people into life again. But she said that it was possible, just like with the Cup of Life and the Black Knight. I don't even know how she knew about those things..."

Arthur shook his head slowly. -But she said I didn't need to give her anything in return. I just had to say yes. To accept the deal - and I could get out of limbo and wake up to a world where my mother was alive. I would have to wait one day, one full day, before things would change for good, because she claimed she needed time to make some 'arrangements'. She said a thing or two might also be different, but nothing I would miss. "

Suddenly Arthur's eyes darted up a bit. Even the shadows of the fireplace seemed to be startled about his gaze, as they flickered angrily everywhere around the room. The prince breathed heavily out.

-She said she was the only one that could help me. That I'd be stuck there forever if I didn't agree. That she was holding all the cards. That I would never wake up and the time would pass differently and I would die of old age soon. She said that she could reverse that, too - that in the real world the time would be about the same when I got in the limbo. An hour or so - it felt insane. I truly felt like I had been there for years."

Merlin felt the colour draining out of his face. Arthur finally shifted, and even if the gesture was small, it seemed rash after the frozen posture. Slowly, the prince turned to them. He looked almost unrecognizable, because he had never looked like this - the emotions were raw and unfamiliar on his face. His shoulders were hunched, his skin ghostly pale. The prince looked avoidingly up, dropping his arms, hands shaking roughly. Arthur breathed in and out with difficulty, like he was about to hyperventilate.

-I said _yes_. I agreed." the prince hissed. He looked up, eyes suddenly flickering from Merlin to Gaius and back frantically.

-T-then...I woke up. Just like that. You were there Gaius. And everything she had promised came to pass - about an hour had passed from the moment I had fallen to limbo. I was alive and awake...But when I finally managed to think straight and that stupid limbo wasn't clouding my judgement and emotions and memories, I immediately realized she couldn't be doing this out of a good heart. My chambers were a mess...they looked like there had been a fight." His eyes were full of growing panic.  
>-And Gaius, you said I had been stabbed, and Merlin were there and...Nothing makes sense, nothing makes sense at all, and I have this horrifying hunch that something is terribly wrong, that I've done a grave mistake and even if I want it to be true so badly, I know my mother is gone and...Elyan made a deal too, people are murdering each other. The plague is spreading and if it spreads through sleep it is impossible to stop and..."<p>

Arthur was falling into a panic. It was quite scary to watch, how he lost all of his composure and his usual calmness, how he just kept talking and he looked paler and paler, his whole body shaking now, his eyes wide and full of uncontrollable horror and panic. The prince looked nothing like himself, sounded nothing like himself, and it was clear that if someone wouldn't stop him, he would drive himself into the brink of insanity.

Of course Gaius had been watching out for the prince all the time, and felt it to be against his own beliefs to demand someone this shaken to talk, but the situation was too serious for him to be delicate and careful. But now he stepped forward quickly, and grabbed Arthur's arms gently.

-Arthur, _calm down_." he said steadily, but in a demanding voice. His words were simple but powerful - the prince stopped talking and turned his wide blue eyes to the physician. Gaius drilled his own eyes to Arthur's.  
>-Now you sit down to that chair, take a few deep breaths and drink some water." he told the prince. Without waiting Arthur to comprehend, the physician pulled him towards the table and pushed him to sit. The prince looked at him like he wasn't completely there.<p>

-Now breath deeply in and out." Gaius said while he poured some water into a cup and swiftly added a few drops of some potion into it. Then he gave it to Arthur and ordered him to drink. And Arthur did, even if the cup in his hand was shaking so badly that drinking from it looked impossible. Then he breathed heavily in and out, staring to a wall, trying to calm down.

Merlin was unsure what to do. He still felt rather disoriented himself, but wanted to help Arthur, too. On the other hand, his head was swirling with new thoughts. He had been partly right, though. Somehow Arthur had gotten into limbo. There, Lemura had made the time feel like years. Merlin trembled a little for the thought - even the idea of spending that much time in that messy place seemed like a nightmare. And Merlin knew for sure that Arthur's memories weren't just random ones - Lemura had most definitely been feeding them to him. Then when Arthur had been there so long that it had almost driven him mad, she had offered her "help".

Merlin felt rather disgusted how that scary and powerful woman could change masks and play different roles so well. She had made Arthur to trust her - she had had a plenty of time to do that. Then she had taken advantage of the limbo and the way it was messing with the prince's head. Merlin felt bad for hearing Arthur's story about the deal._ It had seemed the only reasonable thing to do - to agree. No one could really blame him for doing it.  
><em>But it didn't make the whole thing any less final. A deal was a deal - and Arthur had agreed. She hadn't given him any other option. Merlin felt a wave of anger - that slimy, evil snake. Lemura's plan had worked perfectly. She was even more malicious that Merlin had thought. She seemed ruthless, completely uncaring. And most of all, smart. No matter how cold and crazy she was, she had the ability to read people like books and get through their fences without much effort.

Merlin wouldn't have wanted to admit it, but he was scared of her. Much more scared than he had been of anyone else before. Nimueh and Morgause looked like puppies compared to her. Lemura had her very own playground where normal rules didn't oblige and everyone else but her was like an insect, ready to be caught in her thick webs. Merlin shivered. How could she even make a deal like this? How could anyone raise the dead in just one day?

_One day. If she was telling the truth, we will have one day before Lemura will bring Ygraine back._ Merlin felt nausea rising. They were in a hurry.

-So, in other words, the plague has been spreading through sleep?" Merlin said quietly. Gaius didn't say anything, he just sat down near him. -Why didn't I figure it out sooner?" he mumbled.

But then Merlin remembered - he hadn't been sleeping in almost three weeks. Despite the dream he had just had, he had been in limbo or knocked out by potions. When he finally had gotten actual sleep, he had seen Freya and Will. Persuading him to get them back, to make sacrifices - to _kill_. They had wanted Merlin to kill other people so they could be used as a trade. And even if this realization was disturbing as much as it was horrifying - things finally started to make sense.

The plague had gone on for weeks. If people had had these kinds of nightmares or sweet, persuading dreams filled with love and caring and it had continued for weeks, maybe even months - who could blame them for snapping? Gaius had said to him once that sleep deprivation can drive people delirious, exhausted, angry and make them edgy. Hallucinations and the slow progress of losing your mind wasn't too far, either.

Merlin squeezed his eyes shut, swallowing several times. It seemed like there was a lump in his throat that didn't go away and the bad feeling made his stomach churn and his magic restless. These people truly went mad. They tried to keep awake as long as they could. But it just made it even worse. They became edgy and angry, ready to snap any minute. But they had to sleep in some point. There, in their dreams their lost loved ones begged them to kill to get them back, and they disagreed. _But after long weeks of this torment they must've started to think it wouldn't be such a bad idea...Elyan clearly saw his father earlier. What if...what if it all changes when you hurt someone? What if you actually start to see the dead when you kill someone?_

Merlin suddenly gasped, several things clicking together. Of course - the reports had said repeatedly that these people with the plague actually _saw_ the dead, even talked to them even if it seemed they were talking to thin air. So, they actually _got_ their loved ones back - even if it couldn't be completely real. Suddenly Merlin felt an angry sting in his heart - the possibility seemed highly tempting, almost overwhelming - what if he could see and touch Freya again? Or talk with Will? Or...or...Balinor...

Merlin bit his lip for the rush of emotions that the idea caused. He would have wanted it so badly - to get those people back, even just for a little while. A disturbing thought hit Merlin. _Would I give in? After weeks of seeing Freya and Will in my dreams, even my father, would I give in? If I couldn't get any sleep or rest and they would kept murmuring those promises to my ears every single night...Would I be ready to kill for them?_

But Merlin quickly shook his head strongly. _No. Now it's not the time to think about that.  
><em>Instead, he pushed his own emotions aside and tried to see the bigger picture. He had avoided the power of the dreams because of going to the limbo, but what about everyone else?  
>Suddenly a flash of memories hit him. Arthur and Gaius looking exhausted. Refusing to sleep. Running around the castle day and night, always coming up with duties and places to be or things to do. Merlin turned his eyes sharply towards the physician and the prince - they both looked like they hadn't been sleeping in days.<p>

-Oh God." Merlin hissed. _That's it. They...they have been suffering from the dreams, too. Arthur and Gaius. They have been avoiding sleep because of this, not because of constant worry for the kingdom. No, they're scared to go asleep because their own lost, loved ones are waiting them there.  
><em>Pity and horror both took a suffocating grip from Merlin. _Arthur must've seen his mother. Night after night, asking him to bring her back. And Gaius, oh Gaius...He must've seen countless people that were murdered in the Purge...Friends, relatives..._

Suddenly the nausea was so strong Merlin had to cover his mouth. He felt sick and disgusted. He shook his head, closing his eyes - unable to believe what he had just concluded. Panic was rising in him, too. It washed over him like a fever. His heart started beating faster and faster.  
>If it was all true, and it had to be...<em>everyone<em> - every single man, woman and child was infected with the plague.  
>Everyone who needed to sleep.<br>_Oh God. It can't be true. It just can't._

Merlin started to sway on his place: adrenaline, aghast and nausea driving him into a frightened and panicked state. He had completely forgotten everyone else in the room - his chaotic head made a conclusion after another, pieces of a puzzle clicking to their places in an unstoppable circle. Even if he had earlier wanted to figure things out, right now all of the things kept pulling him deeper and deeper into despair and pure, raw fear. The things he was realizing were million times more serious than he had ever dared to imagine, and Merlin knew, he just _knew_that something very bad and dark was about to happen soon.

Now that he finally got a glimpse of what they were dealing with, he almost wished he would have no idea, because despair started to crawl into his heart. Merlin was an optimistic person and there weren't many things that made him want to scream out loud and hide to the deepest hole he could find. He was scared - so scared that it Arthur's previous panic attack seemed an insulting understatement.

_It's only a matter of time._

It was only a matter of time when these people would break and follow the orders that the dead ones were giving them. They would start to murder other people, even the ones they cared about, because they were succumbing deeper and deeper into insanity - just like Elyan - only driven by their crazy cravings to see the dead, to get them back. To see them once more. It was like a drug that people needed more and more when they had gotten one small taste of it.

The situation wasn't blowing up to their hands. It already had. A clock was ticking, and it was ticking fast. And the deal Arthur had made wasn't like the others, and if it had been so important to Lemura to get it done, it had to be really bad. Something that woman wanted so badly was even scary to think of. The bad feeling lingering in the air around them that had been present from the moment Merlin had woken up, was weighing down more and more, making Merlin's magic feel alerted, almost feverish - it felt like it could start boiling in his veins any minute now.

Will's words echoed in his head: _You just need to let go of it. Turn your sanity off, and let your pent-up emotions flow freely - you will want us back._

Feeling dizzy and sick, Merlin pushed himself hastily up, and with weak legs that barely carried him, he staggered through the room with badly shaking body. He made it to the door before his knees gave in. He fell to the floor, clinging from the door frame like a lifeline, eyesight blurring. He squeezed his eyes shut but the sickening conclusions, his raging magic and his panicked, horrified thoughts were too overwhelming and disgusting. The room spinning around him, Merlin held his breath until he couldn't help it anymore. He threw up on the stone floor.


	15. Chapter 14

Hey! :)

So, the last chapter wasn't so action-packed but shed some light to things. There are still many important questions, though. Don't worry, you will get both answers and action soon enough, I can promise that. :)

Here's chapter fourteen. Reviews keep me going. :)

Story: Jetsam (Chapter fourteen)

by: **Niphrehdil**

* * *

><p>Merlin didn't really know how long it took before the room stopped spinning around him. He was squeezing the door frame with his healthy hand so tightly that his knuckles had turned white. He felt miserable - fortunately he had barely eaten anything so most of the mess was just some blear fluids.<p>

_Alright. Calm down now. There is no need for everyone to panic.  
><em>  
>Without saying a word, Gaius walked to the door and then disappeared to the corridor. He shared some quiet words with the guards and then came back, eyeing Merlin with a concerned look on his face. He shook his head and sighed. -What am I going to do with you two?" he mumbled before crouched down a little.<p>

-Merlin, can you walk on your own?" the physician asked simply. After a shaky nod, Merlin took a few breaths, feeling ill and tired. He sighed and waved his injured hand towards the floor.  
>-What about the..."<br>-The guards will take care of it. Now, do get up. I'm a bit too old to lift you up myself." Gaius said, and there was a hint of frustration in his voice.

Merlin took support from the door frame and pulled himself up, closing his eyes briefly to avoid the dizziness. Then, he took unstable steps back. Arthur had stood up, looking somewhat lost. Clearly he had no idea how to react or what to do. He still looked badly shaken, but at least he had calmed down considerably. Whatever Gaius had given him was effective.

When Merlin finally reached the table, he flopped down to the chair and supported his head with his hands. His injured fingers ached distantly, but he was too distracted to think about them. Gaius pushed a full cup of something in front of him. Merlin drank it, even if he knew it wasn't just water he was getting. He gulped it down in one go.

In any other situation, Merlin would have thought this was funny. Both Arthur and himself were acting like hysteric idiots and now they were both sitting around the table, the old physician taking care of them. But the situation was way too serious to think about that. Even if the nausea was only faint now, Merlin felt like his thoughts had a war in his head. He felt exhausted, scared and miserable. The only thing he wanted was to tell Gaius everything he had just figured out.

They were quiet for a long time. Arthur was gathering himself slowly but surely. He hadn't said anything in an half an hour, but he was breathing rather normally now and the uncontrollable panic was gone. He was still suffering from the remains of the shock, but was gaining his composure rather quickly.

A guard broke the silence. -Sire?" he breathed out from the doorway. For Merlin's surprise, Arthur reacted instantly. He turned his head and nodded.

-Your chambers are now cleaned up. All of the guards have been replaced and doubled in several spots of the castle. However, we found no trace of any intruder or attacker. Sir Leon send a word to you that all of the passageways are untouched, so whoever the attacker was, he already was in the castle."

Arthur nodded. It clearly took some effort to think about an answer. Gaius stepped in quickly. -I believe The Regent would like to have an audience with Lord Bayard." the physician said in a demanding voice and glanced at Arthur.

Arthur stared at him like he had no idea what he was talking about. But then he just swallowed and nodded. He turned back to the guard. -That is correct. Tell him that I'd like to meet him in the throne room as soon as..."

-After an hour." Gaius cut in. The guard looked at the physician with slight confusion. He was clearly the one giving orders right now. But Arthur just nodded, face blank. -Yes. I will meet him after an hour." the prince confirmed.

The guard bowed a little. Arthur turned back towards the table, and the guard stood awkwardly in the doorstep, clearly hesitating to leave. Gaius lifted his chin. -Dismissed." he said. The guards furrowed his brows, threw one suspicious look towards the prince but then left.

Merlin hadn't really listened to them. He was lost in his thoughts. He finally stirred from his frozen position when Arthur stood up after taking a few deep breaths.

-Thank you, Gaius. You've been really helpful." he said, sounding surprisingly like his usual self. Merlin looked up. Arthur did look more like himself - his face was still pale and he stood up straight now, looking more like a Regent than a beaten dog. But his eyes still betrayed him - there was shades of masked horror in them.  
>-But Gaius...Why do you want me to meet Bayard again?"<p>

Gaius crossed his arms. -I'm not going to lie. I saw him in your chambers mere minutes before you woke up. He was acting weirdly and I dare to say that he seemed responsible for the attack."

Arthur nodded slowly, like it was still hard to believe. He glanced at Merlin and it seemed like he hadn't noticed before how bad his servant looked.  
>-Are you alright?" he asked very quietly, like he was ashamed to ask. Merlin nodded and flashed a weak smile. He was about to lie and say he was alright, but right now he was too tired to do so. -Not really, but I'll manage." he said simply.<p>

-Alright." Arthur mumbled and turned towards the door. Then he stopped, like he had forgotten where he was going. Gaius stepped in to help, once again.

-Sire, I think it would be for the best if you went to your chambers to rest a bit."

Arthur clearly hesitated, and he was about to say something when Gaius continued: -We can discuss about the situation again later on. Right now, we all need some time to ourselves." he said.

The prince nodded. He went to the door and glanced quickly back before he disappeared to the corridor.

Merlin buried his face to his hands. -Gaius, I think we need to talk." he mumbled through his fingers.

When Merlin had finally explained everything he had just concluded to Gaius, the physician was left staring at him in awe and concern. No matter how disturbing and grave Merlin's conclusions were, Gaius was a trained physician. He didn't fall into a panic or show any symptoms of it. In quick and serious situations, he couldn't afford to panic because it could cost people's lives, so he stayed always calm. Now, the wrinkles on his forehead deepened and the physician was in deep thoughts for a long time, obviously putting all the loose ends together. He paced for a while in the middle of the room, something he did only when he was truly worried.

Merlin waited nervously. He felt a bit better now that the sharpest wave of the panic was gone. He knew that if they wanted to do something about the situation, they all needed to think straight. But of course, he was restless all the time. He kept shifting his weight in the bench, clutching his injured, bandaged fingers from time to time. The odd, twisted feeling everywhere around him seemed to hang right at the edge of his awareness, poking him with its unnatural and wrong way of existing.

Finally, Merlin lost his patience. -Can you feel it?" he breathed out. Gaius stopped and turned to him. Merlin locked eyes with him. -This odd feeling, like something is terribly twisted or wrong in the world, in the air, in the objects, _everything. _It's been bothering me ever since I woke up, and I just can't shake it off. I have no idea what it is, because I've never felt or experienced anything like it before."

Gaius' face turned very serious. -Yes, Merlin, I can feel it. I've been able to sense from the very moment Arthur woke up in his chambers." he said, voice low and omenous.

Merlin sighed out of pure frustration and fear. -What do you think it is?"

Gaius looked years older when he looked away. -I don't know, Merlin. But whatever it is, Arthur is somehow connected to it. And it is most certainly not good. If I guess right, it might be caused by Arthur's deal with Lemura."

Merlin flinched. Even her name made him feel ill.  
>Gaius stopped pacing. -Alright, now we have to priorize things. There are several important questions that still don't have an answer. For example, why would Bayard attack you or Arthur? What did the knife do to Arthur? How does Larva fit the picture? What did Lemura want to achieve with the deal? What or who is the source of the plague and how can we stop it?"<p>

Merlin shook his head. -I have no idea. About anything. And if Lemura was telling the truth, we will have only one day before the past is changed."

-That can not happen." Gaius said so sharply that Merlin startled and jumped a little. The physician turned his head and had an odd gleam in his eyes. -Whatever happens, we _can not _let the past be changed. Whatever the cost. We need to stop the deal from coming to pass."

-I understand that, but..."

-No, Merlin, you _don't_. The timelines are something that should not be touched, not in any circumstances, not even as a last resort. Not by anyone. Not by magic or anything else. It is stricly forbidden. Even the most powerful sorcerers and users of dark magic know that. They wouldn't dare even to think of it - not even Nimueh did, and she could have accomplished everything by taking that road. But no one goes down that road. Very, very powerful and ancient magic would be needed. And I'm talking about powerful magic in the very meaning of the word, Merlin. Even your powers wouldn't be nearly enough to change even the slightest thing in the past. Every single little thing that happens affects something else - the timelines are very delicate. Even the things that seem unimportant or insignificant can move mountains. It can be an ant that you crush or a person you save - the consequences can be equally grave."

Merlin listened to him, mouth hanging open. Gaius' voice was deep and serious._ And he has sounded this serious only two or three times before._

-I can not begin to understand how on Earth this Lemura can promise anything like this." Gaius hissed. -If she really can change the past, and even bring someone alive...Then Merlin, I'm afraid we are against something that is so powerful I can not even comprehend it. There are certain laws in magic and in the Old Religion, but she is breaking the most sacred ones of them."

Merlin swallowed angrily, gulping air. He was slowly starting to lose hope. -So what can we do?" he whispered, despair making his voice thin.

Gaius looked defeated. -I don't know, Merlin. I don't know."

There was a deadly silence in the room. Merlin felt how his eyes started to glisten and he needed to bit his lip to hold his hopeless thoughts back. He brushed his eyes with his bandaged hand. A memory of Arthur fixing his fingers suddenly came to his mind, and it seemed that it had happened months ago, even if it had been about a day or two ago. Merlin had lost the track of time because of the sleepless nights and the limbo. His every thought was just screaming that they had one day to clean this mess. One day or who knows what could happen.

When Merlin started to think about it, could be really be that awful if Arthur got his mother back? Uther and the prince would be much happier, and a lot of hatred could be avoided and thousands of innocent lives spared. Ygraine's death had caused so much misery that if those things changed too, the kingdom could be a much happier place.

But he hadn't forgotten Gaius' serious words about the timelines.

-Merlin, I think we need to take a look at that odd knife of Bayard's." Gaius said. Merlin nodded distantly. _At least that could be a start._

-Did it burn you, too?" the physician asked.

-It did." Merlin said, looking up in surprise. -I don't know why, though. It had some odd runes in it, I didn't recognize any of them. Maybe it burns everyone?"

-No, it doesn't. Bayard came to the chambers before either of you woke up. He threatened me and acted oddly. Then he pulled the knife out of Arthur's chest, just like that. The knife didn't do any harm to Bayard. He held it like it was just an ordinary blade."

Merlin shook his head in confusion. -Could it mean that...it only burns magical people?"

-Could be. It doesn't seem likely, though. It had some ancient runes in it, so it must be magical in some way. Which means it was probably made by someone who had magic. It doesn't seem logical that the maker wanted to hurt his own kin. But right now, we can't be sure. We should find out what happened to Mercia's king, too. He is most definitely not himself. Bayard was acting like a completely another person. He was emotionless, cold. And from what I remember, he used to be rather hot-headed and a harsh ruler."

-Yes, I do remember that, even if I met him only briefly back in the days when I was poisoned. And he seemed normal at the first time when I saw after being in limbo - he was here in the chambers with Larva." Merlin's face darkened when he mentioned her name.  
>-I think she has something to do with Bayard's sudden change. Remember what I told about him abusing Larva back in Mercia, before Larva's exile and assumed death? I bet she has some hard feelings towards him, and no one can really blame her. But it's another question how is she connected to this all, is she even alive and how is it even possible that she could be controlling the king?"<p>

-I think we should start with the knife." Gaius said. -If we find out what it is or how it works, we might find out something useful about the plague or the deal. Arthur will see Bayard in an hour, so we need to act quickly. We don't have any time to waste, so it would be for the best if we started now. What if we could get Arthur to inspect Bayard's guest chambers? It could work."

Merlin shrugged. -Maybe, but..."

Gaius sighed. -No, wait. I don't think it will be wise to indicate that we are searching for the knife. Bayard knew I saw it. I'll think of something to get him out of his chambers for some time. You have to try to get Arthur to come with you, he might remember something about the attack."

Merlin blinked several times. -You want me to persuade Arthur to skip the audience, sneak into Mercia's king chambers in the middle of the night and search a knife that probably is magical and was lastly seen sticking out of his chest?" he asked, incredulously.

-Yes, exactly. I wouldn't be asking if it wasn't important. But I think we both agree that we can not let Bayard anywhere near Arthur or especially you. He is unpredictable and dangerous. And he already migh suspect me, so it's better this way."

-Aren't you overrestimating me a little? I can't make Arthur do anything I want." Merlin said, lifting a brow.

Gaius gave him a dry look. -I've heard that before. And no matter how crazy your reasoning has sounded from time to time, be it trolls or goblings, he has always believed you in the end. Besides, Arthur might not realize the seriousness of the situation completely, but he is not stupid."

Merlin rolled his eyes. -But he is the Regent, no matter what. I will go alone, I don't want to endanger Arthur."

-Merlin, don't you remember that you are injured, tired, suffering from minor blood loss and that you blacked out mere hours before? And you can't touch the knife without burning yourself. Besides, you don't want Arthur any more near to Bayard than I do. So, I'm not really giving you an option here. I don't know how you always do it, but talk him into this. "

Merlin huffed in frustration and stood up. -Fine." he said and turned to leave, fighting the urge to roll his eyes once again.  
>But Gaius stopped him by grabbing his shoulder gently. The old physician pulled him into a sudden hug, and Merlin forgot his irritation.<p>

-Please be careful, my dear boy." Gaius said quietly. Merlin smiled faintly. -You too." he answered and pulled away. They shared a look of mutual understanding, despite the dark atmosphere hanging in the air. Then, Merlin walked out of the room and headed towards Arthur's chambers.

* * *

><p>Merlin was happy to notice all of the guards were doubled. They wouldn't be much of a use in a magical fight but in any other they slowed enemies down quite effectively.<p>

For the first time in ages, Merlin actually knocked. He didn't want to startle Arthur anymore than necessary. Knocking felt odd, unfamiliar.

-Enter." Arthur's voice answered, but it had the official tone, the one he used with guards and council members. Merlin sighed before the pushed the door open with his good hand. The prince looked up and his brows furrowed in confusion: he clearly hadn't expected it to be Merlin.

-Since when have you started to knock?" Arthur asked, sincerelly surprised. Merlin let out a small chuckle. _At least he's starting to act more like himself._

But then his smile faded. He looked around the room, and could easily tell it still had some marks of the attack visible. He expected to see blood on the bed, but saw nothing but clean sheets. Merlin couldn't stop one shiver crawling up his spine. There wasn't even a small drop indicating that the prince had been stabbed there. _Because he didn't bleed.  
><em>Merlin swallowed and shook the dark thoughts and disturbing images from his mind - there wasn't any time for that.

-How are you feeling?" Merlin asked carefully.

Arthur looked away, but a fast flash of horror spread to his eyes for a moment before it disappeared. -I'm...better." he said, shifting his arms awkwardly. Knowing Arthur, he was probably feeling a bit embarrassed right now by his uncontrollable outburst. Which he shouldn't...because if Arthur just knew the actual extent of this plague, a panic attack would be the most logical reaction to it.

-And what about you?" Arthur said so quietly that Merlin barely heard him. He shrugged softly but didn't say anything more. Gaius' healing spell had worked wonders, and even the physician wouldn't have casted it or let him even be upright in any other situation, right now they both knew there was no time for recovery, rest or sleep. Clock was ticking.

-Arthur? Do you remember anything about being stabbed?" Merlin asked straightforwardly, trying not to let his voice shake. The prince winced a little.

-No. Absolutely nothing." Arthur replied, sounding bitter. -Considering I was asleep when it happened. It's an act of a coward to stab a man while he's sleeping." he hissed, clenching his right hand into a fist.

Merlin studied him for awhile, sifting weight, careful with his words. -I think we should try to find out Lord Bayard's motives. It could lead us to new clues."

Arthur glanced at him, several emotions crossing him face. -Like what? That he probably came here to murder me and dethrone me? That the peace treaty was for nothing and after everything he still wants Camelot to himself?" the prince retorted sharply.

Merlin lifted an eyebrow. Arthur sighed and looked regretful. -I'm sorry. I shouldn't be shouting at you out of all people."

-It's nothing. We are all under some heavy pressure." _If you just knew how heavy it is._

Arthur crossed his arms, staring at the fireplace. -So, what are you suggesting?"

Merlin shrugged. -Maybe going through some of his posessions? Or his chambers?"

-What, now? I will have to meet him in an hour. Besides, he's still the king of Mercia. Accusing him of a murder attempt is serious and could spark more wars than one. You might remember last time that he was here..." But Arthur cut himself off and he had an odd look on his face for a while. -Well, you probably don't remember any of it...But my point is that guestioning him is the only thing I can do. As long as I don't have any evidence, it's your or Gaius' word against his."

-But he tried to kill you!" Merlin barked angrily. -And me, too." He had to bit his lip hard and swallow few times before he managed to push his constant anxiety back. _Don't lose it. Stay calm. There isn't any time to lose.  
><em> He took a deep sigh before he looked at Arthur, locking eyes with the prince that looked like a lost boy, standing in the middle of the room.

Merlin spoke in a quiet, soft tone. -Look. I know the situation is bad. We don't know what's happening or why. But for some reason, you got captured into limbo. And if you happen to remember, I've been there, too. Not as long as you were, not even nearly, but I do understand. It must've been horrible and there is no denying of that. But we don't have time to worry about that anymore. Instead, we need to find answers. Bayard is right now our only clue."

Arthur listened to him carefully. Slight hopelessness spread to the prince's face. He looked so much older with dark rings under his eyes because of the lack of sleep and the haunting nightmares that most definitely had been bothering him in the past few weeks. The signs of the previous shock were still there - Arthur had obviously gathered himself and gained his composure back, and was clearly able to give orders and function. But still - Merlin saw right through him. The prince was shaken, hurt, lost and scared. He had been trapped in limbo and tricked into a deal. Arthur was trying to keep a kingdom standing even if its people were losing their minds. He had so much responsibility and fear loaded onto his shoulders that it was a wonder he could still rule as a Regent.

Arthur's head was so messed up that he hadn't even stopped to ask the obvious questions - why Merlin had been lying next to him when he had woken up, why his servant had then suddenly collapsed, why had he panicked back in Gaius' chambers and so on. Normally, the prince wouldn't have left him alone before he got some kind of explanation to everything. The fact that he hadn't said anything about any of the unanswered riddles spoke volumes of how chaotic and illogical Arthur's mind was.

-Maybe you're right." Arthur finally replied. He looked hesitant. -Maybe I could send someone to inspect his room."

-No." Merlin said, shaking his head. -You just said that for accusing Bayard you need real proof and someone with a higher status to speak against him if it's needed."

Arthur didn't seem to get it. Merlin fought the urge to roll his eyes. -Meaning you."

The prince looked instantly reluctant. -I'm not sneaking into a king's room at night. In fact, I wouldn't sneak into anyone's room at night. Despite I'm a prince."

Merlin snorted frustratedly. -Don't pull that being-a-royal card now." he said. Arthur lifted his chin a little, clearly unsure whether Merlin had gone a little too far. Merlin didn't want to try his luck. -I'm just saying that surely you can understand how important it is. And it's not sneaking, it's...checking the facts."

Arthur let out a pallid smile for that. -That's a terrible excuse." he mumbled. Briefly, there was a fleeting moment of their usual banter and light nonsense conversations floating in the air, and even if it went by shortly, it made them both feel a bit better. Then, the prince's hesitation turned to determination.

-Fine. But I should be meeting Bayard in an hour..."

-Gaius will take care of it. He will keep him occupied as long as needed."

Arthur stared at him, somewhat incredulous. For a moment, he looked like he realized the fact that this whole thing had clearly been decided before he had even agreed to it. But then, he just sighed tiredly.  
>-Alright, but we need to send him a word. I will send a guard there." Arthur said.<p>

_No need. Gaius will do it anyway._ But of course, Merlin kept quiet because otheriwise he would have revealed that the physician _had_ trusted this plan to work. Merlin felt slightly pleased with himself that he had managed to talk Arthur into something like this, even if it was a bit disturbing to know Gaius hadn't doubted it beforehand.

-But I'm going alone." Arthur added when he started to make his way towards the door. Merlin stepped forward, blocking the path. -No, I'm coming with you."  
>Arthur rolled his eyes. -Don't even start with me on this. You have to obey me when I tell you to do something, I'm the Regent and..."<p>

-I'm coming with you." Merlin said, almost defiantly, lifting his chin. Arthur eyed him, looking frustrated and worried at the same time. But he didn't look surprised. He had that familiar look on his face, the one with filled with hesitation and tricky thoughts. He was clearly wondering why Merlin was so stubborn coming with him no matter where they were going. Arthur wanted to ask why he always did that, and yet he didn't. He already knew the answer, but they rarely said these things aloud.  
>So, they were standing face to face, the prince trying to search words that he didn't find.<p>

-I'm coming with you." Merlin repeated. -Besides, I'm no use in the physician's chambers. And I can't go with Gaius for obvious reasons - remember that Bayard tried to kill me mere hours before this?"

Arthur bit his lip. -What if we somehow get caught? I'm the Regent so there's no real worry, but Bayard can demand arresting you. Or worse."

Merlin felt a bit touched by the prince's worry. -Well, because you _are_ the Regent, you don't need to arrest me if you don't want to. This is still Camelot, and I'd like to remind about the fact that you rule here. And I can always say that you commanded me to go with you." he reasoned with a faint smile on his face.

-Command you to come with me? I ordered you to stay behind." Arthur said sharply, narrowing his eyes but Merlin knew he had already won.

-Are we just going to stand here all night or are we actually trying to do something to figure out what happened?" Merlin asked, tilting his head.

Sighing, Arthur didn't respond and opened the door, Merlin close behind him.

* * *

><p>When they reached the chambers Lord Bayard had been staying in, the guards just bowed to Arthur. They didn't ask any questions, even if it had been Arthur that had ordered them to do it in any case. Merlin was relieved that their time wasn't wasted any more than it already had.<p>

They entered the room. Arthur had knocked about four times, but there hadn't been any answer. Merlin glanced around, tensing when he saw the corridor that lead to Larva's room. But he pushed her out of his thoughts quickly - the knife was the most important lead right now.

It turned out that Bayad had large chambers and several swords, blades, bows and knifes on the tables. Merlin scanned the dim room with his eyes, looking for the particular knife. He had seen it only briefly and he had been somewhat panicked considering he had thought Arthur had been stabbed to death - but he would recognize the odd blade, he was sure of it.

Arthur walked to the room like he owned it. Well, he actually did own it, he _was_ the future king, but it surprised Merlin how Arthur didn't seem to be bothered by the fact that they were uninvited guests_. Maybe he's still too muddled by Lemura's torture and being stuck in limbo for a time that felt like years._

Merlin eyed several knifes on the table, but they all looked the same. Suddenly an idea struck Merlin. _What if Bayard still has the knife? What if he didn't leave it here at all?_

He felt incredibly stupid - why hadn't he questioned this? It had only been an assumption that the knife was here - there weren't any real evidence about it. Merlin shook his head frustratedly and felt the urge to blow something up with magic. _No, no, no. We are wasting time. Of course the knife isn't here. Why would he leave it here if it was so important? Or so powerful? Bayard isn't stupid, even under the enchantment or whatever it is. We can not even know for sure that he even came here after attacking Arth-_

-He has several knives." Arthur commented. -But they are all just normal blades." he said, frustratedly, brushing his fingers over them. The prince sighed and banged the surface of the table, letting out a frustrated sigh.

Merlin walked forward, feeling defeated. But when he came closer, his eyes suddenly flickered to something. He recognized it immediately. Freezing to his place, Merlin felt a cold wave wash over him as he saw _the_ blade. His magic flinched inside him.

Arthur followed his gaze and stepped closer. -Is it this? But it's...small and old." the prince said, unimpressed. He reached his hand towards it. -And dull. Why would he..."

-No, Arthur, don't touch it!" Merlin cried out. Arthur had just grabbed the knife and his hand froze now in mid-air, and he turned his head sharply towards Merlin, uncertain and startled.

Merlin was holding his breath - he didn't move an inch. He just stared - stared at Arthur's right hand that was holding the ancient knife in the air. Nothing happened.

The prince didn't scream in pain and drop the knife. He looked confused, clearly hesitating to put it back. He just stared at Merlin, body tensed. There was only hesitation and confusion on his face. Nothing more.

Merlin stepped back instinctively, looking up at the prince with wide eyes. The knife didn't burn Arthur.


	16. Chapter 15

Hey!

It's been a while. But real life got in the way - school, work, a short writer's block...I've been too tired, lazy or caught up in something else to continue. Also, I started watching BBC's Sherlock, which is one of the best tv shows I've ever seen. I wrote one fic about it in the meantime, too. If you watch Sherlock, you might like it, it can be found on my profile. :)

But back to Jetsam now, with chapter fifteen. I think this is rather a big chapter, so I hope it was worth the wait.

This time, reviews would be more important than ever. They keep me writing and would revive my enthusiasm. So please share your thoughts, no matter what they are. :)

Story: Jetsam (Chapter fifteen)

by: **Niphrehdil**

* * *

><p>There was a long silence.<p>

Arthur's eyes flickered to the knife and back to Merlin. Merlin had went somewhat pale.

-What? Why shouldn't I touch it?" Arthur finally asked, very confused. Merlin just shook his head. _It's not possible. It burnt me and Gaius...But it didn't burn Arthur or Bayard? What's the logic in here? Does it really burn only magical people?_

-Merlin? I would really like to have an answer." Arthur said with a weary voice, getting more and more frustrated. He put the blade carefully back to the table and studied Merlin intently.

-It...it's just..." Merlin tried to think about any reasonable explanation. Then again, the situation was so serious that he could as well tell the truth. -It's supposed to burn you." Merlin said slowly.  
>Arthur looked at him like he was insane. -<em>Burn<em> me? Knives don't burn people, Merlin. They can be used to cut or stab but not to burn."

Merlin shook his head. -No. This one should. Gaius believes it's a magical knife. How else could it be possible that it was stabbed through your heart and you're still standing there, alive and breathing?" He breathed out, calming himself. -Just...take it as a proof, Arthur. Now you have evidence against Bayard."

Arthur was clearly on two minds about it, but then nodded. -Fine." he mumbled and lifted the knife from the table again, still a little careful with it. Like the last time, nothing happened. The knife didn't harm the prince.

Merlin gritted his teeth. He needed to think, to try and find the answers. There were so many questions and so little time. Arthur headed towards the door. Out of the blue, he walked straight into Merlin, almost knocking his servant off his feet.

Merlin had to take a few clumsy steps backwards to maintain his balance and then turned to stare at Arthur, confused. -I heard you, I'm coming with you, you don't have to..."  
>But Merlin's voice faded when Arthur seemed to be as surprised as he was. The prince stared at him like he had been slapped, eyes a bit wide.<p>

-Arthur?"

-I...I just didn't see you. I thought you were..." The prince shook his head, like trying to clear it. He sighed and rubbed his palms a little. -It's so damn dark in here. Can't see properly." he mumbled.

Merlin just stared at him. Arthur rarely ever hit anything - not swords, cupboards, horses or obstacles. Only when he had gotten a bit too much wine in the feasts or something, but he was a trained knight. Merlin furrowed his brows. Arthur never bumped into Merlin, no matter how close each other they walked or how dark it was. The prince was good at these things - he had an impressive balance and the ability to estimate distances.  
>And he had just walked straight into Merlin without slowing down a bit. It hadn't hurt or anything, but it was just plain odd.<p>

Arthur shrugged, even if he clearly was a bit disturbed by the whole thing. -Come on. Let's go before Bayard returns." he said. Now he passed Merlin from a careful distance, clearly paying close attention to the surroundings. Merlin followed the prince with a hesitant steps.

The constant bad presence in the back of his head was making him disoriented. But it was magical, so it couldn't be bothering Arthur. Of course they all had sleep deprivation and the situation was weighing down on them in more ways then one, but still...The whole thing had been out of character for Arthur.

The prince was heading back to his own chambers now. Merlin followed quietly.

They didn't talk on the way back. The prince was lost in his own thoughts and the aftermath of the shock, Merlin was trying to think.

Suddenly, something caught his eye. Right on the edge of his vision, something moved. Merlin turned his head sharply towards it, but found nothing. Just the dim corridors around them.  
>Distantly, Merlin ignored it. He kept following Arthur. After two corridors, he saw it again. Really quickly. Something reflecting light in the shadows. It was gone in a blink.<p>

Now, Merlin took a deep breath. He knew well enough that he wasn't crazy - he wasn't probably just seeing things. He was magic, after all. But whatever it was, it was gone again.  
>-Arthur?" Merlin said quietly. The prince didn't stop, just kept walking. Merlin lifted an eyebrow. <em>He's just probably still shaken. And tired.<em>

-Arthur, I think I saw something." Merlin continued, now a little louder. The prince kept walking, like he hadn't heard him. Now Merlin was staring at the back of his head, a little surprised.

-Arthur!" he now hissed in a rather loud voice. Arthur suddenly halted and looked back, like he had just been awaken from a dream. He looked somewhat annoyed.

-What now, Merlin?" the prince said, sounding frustrated.

-I think I saw something." Merlin said.

Arthur lifted an eyebrow. For a moment he looked just like Uther. -So?"

Merlin spread his arms. -So? Wouldn't you think it's important? Considering the situation. I know you're still shocked and feeling the strain from being stuck in limbo, but..."

-What?" Arthur said, and now he sounded very odd. He straightened himself and lifted his chin a little. He suddenly looked much more distant and...more royal. Merlin just stared at him for a moment. Then he decided to ignore the odd gesture. -I mean that didn't you see anything? Or heard anything?"

Arthur eyed him. From head to toe, like he would look suddenly different. The prince had an odd look in his face. -Why would it concern _you_?" he asked, sounding even a bit rude now.

Now Merlin had to blink. He was getting rather upset and concerned. -Seriously, Arthur, what's up with you?"

Arthur crossed his arms and tilted his head. -Why did you just call me 'Arthur'?"

Merlin thought it was a joke. Arthur's stiff face said otherwise. Merlin was staring at him, mouth cracked open. -It's your name." he breathed out, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.  
>-Yes. I know. But you're my servant." Arthur said. He had his efficient face on, the one he used with messengers and guests.<p>

Merlin nodded slowly, trying to understand what this was all about. -Yes I am your servant. Have been for several years now. So I know your name."

Arthur tilted his head once again, like considering what he had just said. For a moment he looked like he was disapproving this, but then the odd look vanished from his face. Arthur looked more like himself. -Right." he mumbled.

Then he turned hesitantly around and kept walking. Merlin was unable to move from his frozen spot, he just kept staring at the prince who was walking away. _What the hell was that all about? First he bumps into me and then starts acting weirdly. He was stuck in limbo, but that can't be the cause of this. Could this be because of the deal?_

Merlin bit his lip. He was just so tired. Beaten, tired, exhausted, strained - how many words could describe the situation? But he had no time to worry about himself, or Arthur on the matter. Everyone was going mad. Everyone was infected. Arthur and Lemura had a made a deal. And Arthur had been stabbed through the heart, but here he was. Bayard had stabbed him, but why? And why was Arthur acting so strangely?

-Send for Sir Gwaine. I want to see him in my chambers as soon as possible." Arthur said to a guard standing in the near doorway. The guard bowed and left his post without a word.

They finally reached Arthur's chambers. When they got in, Merlin let out a sigh.

-Alright, so we know that Bayard was the one to stab you. He is guilty and we have the evidence." he said.

Arthur put the blade to the table and started pacing. -Why would he want to harm me? It would be incredibly stupid to do so, when he has only about a dozen members of his court here in Camelot. That's almost suicidal. And what's his motive? Why would he try to attack me? Or you? Why would Elyan work with him?" he said in a quiet voice.

Merlin listened intently, trying to figure out the same things in his own head. He briefly wondered if Gaius was safe with Bayard...But at least he got magic to protect himself.  
>Merlin felt so exhausted that he considered sitting down, but that really wasn't appropriate. No matter how close he was to Arthur, that would seem odd.<p>

But he just...felt so drained. Unfocused. The nagging feeling at the edge of his senses were driving him slowly mad. Gaius had felt it, too. It seemed it was getting stronger all the time. _This just because of my injuries, lack of sleep and food. Now concentrate._

A knock made both the prince and the servant turn their heads towards the door. The previous guard was there. -Sire..." he said, out of breath, -I'm afraid we can not find Sir Gwaine from anywhere. In fact, several of the guards, servants and maids seem to have disappeared. Like they would have vanished to thin air, my lord."

Merlin felt an awful sting in his chest. _Vanished to thin air?_

-What about Sir Leon, then? Percival?" Arthur asked, voice a bit harsh.

The guard looked pale, like he was scared to deliver his news. -Sir Percival is nowhere to be found. And when we asked Sir Leon, he was as confused as we were. Sir Gwaine and Percival had been with him all night until this."

Arthur looked both confused and worried. Merlin could see the flash of masked horror in the prince's eyes. -But where could have they gone? Are you sure the citadel isn't under an attack?"

The guard nodded. -Yes, Sire. Sir Leon made us check the castle, and there was nothing unusual going on. Just the missing people."

The prince stared at the guard for a moment, colour draining from his face. He clearly tried to keep his composure. His eyes were a bit too wide, so he turned them away.  
>-Alright. Keep me informed. I'd like to speak with Sir Leon. Send for him. Dismissed." Arthur said with a distant tone. The guard bowed and left.<p>

Merlin turned to look at the prince, heart starting to beat faster. The notorious feeling was weighing down on him even more heavily than before. -Arthur?" he breathed out to the deadly silent air.

There was something in the way the light bended on surfaces and the fire rattled, and the candles flickered that made Merlin feel somehow uncomfortable...out of place. He tried to ignore all of this. _Missing people are more important._

But the prince didn't seem to hear him. Instead, Merlin caught a shadow at the corner of the chambers and swirled around. When he laid his eyes on the exact spot the shadow had been, it was already gone.

Merlin felt rage rising. He was so_ sick_ of this. He almost wanted to scream out just to release some of the pressure and the panic that was constantly squeezing a cold fist around his heart. _What the hell was that again? Why am I seeing it? Why now?_

-Arthur. I saw something again." Merlin said aloud with a tensed voice. He kept staring at the spot on the corner. The prince, however, didn't respond. Merlin darted his eyes to Arthur.

-Arthur?" Merlin repeated. Nothing. -Arthur? Can't you hear me?" he said louder, more demandingly. The prince just kept pacing. -Arthur!" Merlin yelled now, out of pure frustration and disbelief. The prince's head snapped up in surprise and he glared at Merlin.

-Shut up, Merlin! I'm trying to think. You yelling isn't helping at all." he said angrily. -Now shut your mouth or I'll shut it for you." Arthur continued and sent another fierce glare after him.

Merlin blinked in surprise. He wasn't sure whether he should feel hurt or angry. Or both. Arthur was stubborn and hot-headed, but it had been a long time since he had been so..._prat_. Arrogant. Rude.

He lifted an eyebrow for the sudden outburst, but Arthur seemed to have forgotten it already. Merlin crossed his arms and took one long breath.

-Arthur..."

-Shut up, Merlin! Didn't you hear me? I'm the Regent and you'll do as I say." Arthur snapped. He was almost shaking for the anger. Merlin stepped backwards, studying the prince. Arthur just ignored him.

_Alright. Something is definitely wrong with him. It's understandable to be edgy, but...this is a bit too much like the prat Arthur he used to be._

Another flash in the corner of his eye. Merlin gritted his teeth. He didn't turn his head. He kept still, biting his lip, trying to hold it all inside. He felt the urge to smash something with magic. _People are missing. Arthur struck a deal. I'm seeing things. We're running out of time. What on Earth could we do to stop this?_

Merlin eyed the prince. If Arthur just kept shouting at him every time he opened his mouth, it didn't really tempt him to try.

Sir Leon's arrival interrupted the tensed silence.

-Sire?" the knight called from the doorway. Arthur nodded. -Where is everybody? Have you found out anything about the missing people?" the prince asked.

Sir Leon looked a little awkward. -No. There is no sign of any of them."

Arthur let out a deep sigh. -Great, just great...What about the other knights?"

Sir Leon looked genuinely confused. -Well, who exactly?"

Arthur quirked an eyebrow. -Percival and Gwaine for starters?" He suggested, his tone a lot harsher than usual.

Sir Leon looked even more confused. His eyes darted to Merlin, like searching for support. Then he gave a weak, apologizing smile.  
>-Sire, I'm sorry, but I'm afraid we can not identify any specific persons."<p>

Both Arthur and Merlin looked at the knight like he had gone insane. Arthur stepped forward. -But Percival and Gwaine are your friends. Battle comrads." the prince said, stating the obvious.

Sir Leon sifted his weight uncomfortably. -I see. It's a shame I don't remember them. They must have been good fighters if they have indeed fought along with me."

Merlin's mouth dropped open. -You don't REMEMBER them?" he barked out. He almost considered Sir Leon might have been joking, but the man never joked. Not to Arthur, anyway, about anything. He was far too serious and loyal for that.

Sir Leon coughed and eyed Merlin from head to toe, with the exact distant glance Arthur had used before. The one that said 'I'm above you, so behave like you're supposed to'. Merlin had not seen that look in years. Not from Sir Leon. Arthur did it from time to time, but he was Arthur.

Getting two of those glances in one night couldn't be a good sign.

Sir Leon turned to talk to the prince. -No, Sir, I don't remember them. I am sorry if you've misjudged me. I have trained a lot of youngsters and fought alonside many heroic people. They must have been among them."

Arthur just stared at the knight. Sir Leon felt obviously more and more uncomfortable. -Is there anything else I can do for you, Sire?" he asked politely.

The prince just shook his head, stunned. -Dismissed." Arthur said with a hoarse voice.  
>Leon disappeared to the corridor.<p>

The silence that landed after was made of slight panic, horror, notorious omens and tension. Merlin and Arthur both knew this was bad. Very bad.

_Sir Leon doesn't remember Gwaine or Percival. They have both gone missing. What could that mean? Has someone done a spell on him so he doesn't remember? And where are they? Have they been kidnapped? But why would anyone kidnap a bunch of knights and serving people? It doesn't make sense or have any logic._

Merlin let out a deep sigh and rubbed his forehead. _If only things could get back to normal..._ Arthur started pacing again.

_-People are going missing."_ a voice suddenly said, echoing in Merlin's head. Merlin startled and looked around, but nothing in the room has changed. There was no one else there beside him and Arthur. Merlin eyed cautiously the room, searching for the voice.

_-It's her. The wolf. You need to find her."_ the voice said now. Merlin almost jumped in his place, because the voice was so near yet so far away. Like it would come somewhere from the ground. Oddly enough, the voice didn't seem malicious or evil, it just was. From what Merlin could sense from it, it wasn't connected to the odd bad feeling lingering everywhere around him. Still, he tried to find the source frantically.

_-The wolf is the key."_ the voice whispered. Now, Merlin bit his lip silently and stopped. _Am I going insane or is this just something magical? The voice didn't sound evil...instead, it all sounded more like a friendly advise or a plea. Maybe it has something to do with the missing people? It kept saying that the wolf...Larva. Elyan kept referring to her as the wolf._

Merlin waited for a long while, but the voice had already gone. Then he studied Arthur. The prince hadn't reacted in any way to the whole thing, so Merlin could only assume he was the only one that had heard the voice. There was a knot in Merlin's chest. Something didn't feel right, not at all. It hadn't felt right ever since he had woken up. Maybe listening to the voice's advice was a good thing. Larva was somehow connected to Lemura, she had to be, so maybe she could provide some answers.

But the simple thought of her made a shiver go through Merlin. There was a look in her eyes and a shade in her smile that could only described as insanity. Pure, mindless insanity that knew no boundaries. _Stop. That isn't helping. We don't have much time. You need to find her._

Merlin walked towards the door. Arthur turned towards him. -Where do you think you are going?"

-To Gaius." Merlin lied and pulled the door open.

-He is with Bayard. Don't you think we need to consider what we are going to do to him? He is a visiting king after all." Arthur said.

Merlin shrugged. -Arrest him. You're the Regent, Arthur, you're supposed to know how to handle these kinds of things." Merlin said, hoping he didn't sound too uncharacteristic. Usually he argued with Arthur or at least offered him his own opinion about the matter at hand. The prince did look a bit confused. Merlin used the small silence to his advantage.

-I'll be back soon." he said and rushed out of the chambers before Arthur had any change to disagree.

When he reached the physician's chambers, it was quiet and dim. Merlin opened the door and the moment he did, he sensed it. There was someone in the room, someone who didn't belong there. The air was cold and electrified.

-Looking for me?" a familiar voice asked smugly from the other side of the room.

Merlin tensed as he recognized her easily. He tried to see her, but she was sitting in a dark corner, and the few candles and the dying fireplace were not enough for that. She radiated power.

-Don't answer. I know you did. Little birds, I could say." Larva said, playing with her hair. Merlin took one step forward, carefully.

-So, how many people have gone missing? A lots, I'd bet. But naturally, you wouldn't notice anyone else than the people close to you. The knights, I heard. Didn't think you have friends in such high places." She let out a sudden laughter that made Merlin wince. -Then of course you _are_ close to the future king. Or were. However you prefer it."

-What is the deal about?" Merlin said through his teeth.

-I think you should ask that from your new friends. And you've got a whole bunch of them. Hundreds. Maybe even thousands." Larva said, sounding unnervingly happy, like a little child.

Merlin shook his head in confusion. -What are you talking about?"

Larva's hands froze to the air, and she turned her head towards Merlin. An icy shiver went through Merlin and he stepped backwards - her eyes gleamed in the dim light like a hunting beast's. Empty, hungry and emotionless eyes. _Dead._ That was the only word that could describe them properly. Merlin felt how ice washed over his soul - for the first time he really saw through the curtains she had drawn over her eyes, her presence.

He was staring into death's eyes.

-You have seen them, haven't you? They're echos at first. Then flashes, shadows. Then you start to feel them, their empty breathing on your neck. They all want you, they circle around you like blowflies. Ready to eat and tear when you drop down." she said.

-You're dead." Merlin hissed sharply, adrenaline slowly incresing in his veins. His magic was hard to hold back, as it sensed the evil in her. Larva didn't even flinch.

-You are dead. You were killed." Merlin whispered. It wasn't a question. She didn't move an inch, just kept her hollow eyes locked on his.

-My, my. Somebody has been digging secrets up." she said, and now her voice was scaringly low. For a long moment, she just kept staring. Then a hideous smile spread to her face, like a beast revealing its teeth. Merlin's hands shook and he clenched them to fists to hide it. She had a wide, twisted smile on her face, but her eyes stayed the same. The combination was morbid and disturbing.

-Are you afraid?" she asked playfully, tilting her head.

Merlin wanted to say no. But he was, he was scared. He couldn't deny that, not even to himself. He had never encountered anything so twisted and wrong. She was scary because she was insane. And not just insane, downright crazy and unnatural. He had _seen_ her torn to pieces, how she had bled to death, unable to scream. He had seen her horrible death, and yet here she was. It wasn't logical or natural, it was creepy and impossible, and for once Merlin couldn't trust his magic. The woman in the corner of the dark room was supposed to be dead.

All of the rules had been broken. Timelines had been touched, dead were walking, voices were whispering and shadows dancing. The world was twisting into an angle Merlin couldn't understand, it was getting out of place. Nothing made sense.

-How are you here? The wolves ate you alive. Your body was broken." Merlin said quietly, too afraid to speak louder if his voice started to shake.

Larva was like a statue. She kept staring at him. -It has already started. The maelstorm. It sucks everything unnecessary into it. Like your friends, the useless knights. Like everyone else that were born and raised, living or dead. They are all pulled under the surface, just like you. I'm still waiting you to realize the name of the game. I thought you were smarter than that."

Merlin's thoughts swirled. He shifted his weight carefully, hands still shaking in fists, adrenaline banging, the knot in his chest tightening. A slow panic was raising.

-What do you mean?" he whispered.

The dead eyes stared at him. -The deal. Your precious prince made a deal, and that's exactly what he gets. Don't expect seeing the knights anytime soon. Actually, don't expect to see them at all anymore. They are gone. They were the first ones to go. After all, we are moving counter clockwise. Those who came here last, are first to go."

Merlin's mind was trying to hold all the strings together, to see the bigger picture. He was tensed and his magic was squirming inside him like a wounded snake. But slowly, the pieces just started to click. The puzzle was slowly forming. Suddenly his mind started flashing bits of the previous conversations.

_ -Whatever happens, we can not let the past be changed. Whatever the cost. We need to stop the deal from coming to pass." Gaius had said.  
><em>

_-I understand that, but..."_

_-No, Merlin, you _don't._ The timelines are something that should not be touched, not in any circumstances, not even as a last resort. Not by anyone. Not by magic or anything else. It is stricly forbidden. Even the most powerful sorcerers and users of dark magic know that. They wouldn't dare even to think of it - not even Nimueh did, and she could have accomplished everything by taking that road. But no one goes down that road. Very, very powerful and ancient magic would be needed. And I'm talking about powerful magic in the very meaning of the word, Merlin. Even your powers wouldn't be nearly enough to change even the slightest thing in the past. Every single little thing that happens affects something else - the timelines are very delicate. Even the things that seem unimportant or insignificant can move mountains. It can be an ant that you crush or a person you save - the consequences can be equally grave."_

Merlin's breathing became more rapid.

_-Arthur?"_

_-I...I just didn't see you. I thought you were..."_

Merlin closed his eyes tightly, replaying the memories in a growing panic and horror.

_ -I'm afraid we can not find Sir Gwaine from anywhere. In fact, several of the guards, servants and maids seem to have disappeared. Like they would have vanished to thin air, my lord."_

Click. Click. Click. The small things all started to make sense now.

_-Arthur. I saw something again."_

_-Arthur? Can't you hear me? Arthur!"_

The sound of the conclusions clicking together crashed Merlin's head, and he let out a moan out of pure disbelief and horror. There was a long, heavy silence. Merlin wad holding his breath, feeling like the seams were giving in.

-I'm dying." Merlin finally breathed out, aghast, the ominous words. They lingered in the air. Saying them aloud made Merlin feel even more horrified.

-Wrong. You're ceasing to exist." Larva corrected emotionlessly.

_Oh God. Oh my God_. _The timelines. The deal. The missing knights...Arthur not hearing me...The knights have been vanished. _

Lemura's words crawled back to his mind._ -Ah, you can go back. Sure. I won't be stopping you. Because you're useless now, just wait and see._"  
><em>-I will enjoy watching your visit to the land of make-believe, illusion and ghosts. We will meet again."<em>

And what she had said to Arthur_: -I will send you to back there and she will be there after I make some arrangements."_

Merlin's knees started to buckle and he staggered in his place. _Arrangements._ The word sounded sick. _Arrangements._ These were Lemura's "arrangements". She was erasing the timeline counter-clockwise, just like Larva had said. She was bringing Ygraine back, but then the events that the Queen's death had changed would be erased. This timeline would stop _existing._

-If Ygraine never died..." Merlin whispered.

-Then Uther would have not turned his back on magic. He would have not felt responsible for his wife's death." Larva said.

-There would have been no Great Purge at all." Merlin said with a shaky voice, eyes now glistening for the panic.

-Which means that everything that happened because of the Great Purge is now vanishing."

-People that were hunted and killed..." Merlin whispered, voice thick and barely audible.

Larva nodded. -Are all alive, or then died because of some other reason. This changes a lot of things around here. But wait until you get to the best part." Larva said, giving a sick, satisfied chuckle.

Merlin lifted his chin, now his whole body was shaking. There was cold sweat in his forehead, his blood was turning to ice in his veins. -If the Great Purge didn't happen...My father would have never been hunted. Gaius wouldn't have helped him to escape to Ealdor. Which means he would have never met my mother..."

-And you were never born." Larva exclaimed and clapped her hands in exitement. -Wonderful, isn't it? It is all so logical and fascinating. Arthur Pendragon made a deal. He will get his mother back, just like was promised. She will come back to life, like she had never died at all. She survives and lives here in Camelot with Uther and her son. Everything that has happened between the Purge and this day, today, is simply dumped in the trash."

She let out a wide, twisted grin. -You included."


	17. Chapter 16

Hey!

So another update, yay! :) A little sooner than the previous one, I'm so glad that I managed to post this. As always, I should be studying now, but I just had to finish this. Once again, some small shameless self-promotion: I put up another Sherlock fanfic, this time it's crack. Can be found on my profile if you're interested. :)

But then let's go back to the business: warning for a rather dark chapter. There are a lot of things going on.

Please be kind and review! It will keep my enthusiasm and energy up. :) I would especially love to hear your thoughts about Larva.

Story: Jetsam (Chapter sixteen)

by: **Niphrehdil**

* * *

><p>Larva let Merlin dwell on his moment of utter shock for some time. Then she sighed.<p>

-To be honest, this is not quite as dramatic to other people that it is to you. For example, the knights won't stop existing. They simply are not here, because it seems that the reason some of them they ended up in Camelot in the first place has altered." Larva said.

Merlin bit his lip as his own heart thundered in his own ears. So the knights were not there...because Lancelot wouldn't have become a knight without meeting Merlin first and getting to know Arthur. And Lancelot had known Percival before anyone else did. Then...Gwaine. Merlin couldn't be sure about the rogue knight - but Gwaine had made clear that he was first and foremost Merlin's friend and then Arthur's. He disliked authorities and smug nobles.

Yes, it was most likely that even if Gwaine might have visited Camelot, he wouldn't have stayed. Then Elyan...And Gwen.

Air got stuck to Merlin's throat. Suddenly memories started to flash in his mind. _The day he had met Gwen. Gwen giving him a flower. Gwen kissing him. Gwen rambling nervously. Gwen being condemned to death..._

Merlin was afraid to let his conclusions flow forward. He was afraid because he knew where they would end up - Gwen and Arthur. Never meeting properly. And Elyan - he would have probably died in Cenred's hands. Or was never kidnapped at all, because why would Cenred see Elyan as an important leverage in a world where he was just a nameless blacksmith's son?

All of them. His friends - someway or another, Merlin realized, he had had an impact on their positions in the kingdom. He had had an impact to so many things...It was only a frightening than a proudful realization. And it was just the first words on the long list of things that were being erased - the actual people with their lives were just a start. The events. Words. Nods. Smiles. Slashes of a sword. Handshakes. Decisions. Lies. Truths. Emotions. _Everything. _

The world he knew was being torn apart. Everything in it, good or bad, had no meaning anymore. It it would be all destroyed. _It doesn't matter if something felt wrong or bad when it happened. It happened, and it affected us all in a one way or another. It affected our lives, our timeline, this day. And if all that ceases to exist...It's just empty._

Merlin gritted his teeth. The emotions of still growing horror, panic and aghast flowed through him like a burning poison. His magic was squirming, desperate to do something, anything, to fix this. But the most defeating fact was - this wasn't something that magic could fix.

Merlin didn't understand how this whole thing even worked. Seeing the true scale of this plan was impossible and unpredictable - he could never count everything in. This timeline was all he knew. It was _him_. His life. Going down the drain.

If he stopped existing, what about his destiny? What about Camelot? Arthur? Their destiny?

What about everything he had ever breathed and lived for, suffered and risked his life for? What if there weren't anything that could save him or the world around him? How would Arthur's life become? And Ygraine's? And Uther's? And the hundreds or even thousands of people that were never hunted down and killed, never burnt to ash in the courtyard?

Even if Merlin had always mourned for the countless lives lost in the Purge, right now he understood how great king Uther's wrath had been. It had shaped history in a tremendous way. Just like Gaius had said - it didn't matter whether it was a person you save or an ant you crush - the timelines were dangerous and vulnerable, and the consequences of laying your hand on them were grave.

Merlin shut his eyes closed tightly, realizing now why even Nimueh and Morgause had been terrified to touch the complicated existence of time. This was _not_ something you played with. It wasn't like playing with fire - it was much more serious. It was playing with the world itself. The ground and the sky, people and magic. The Old Religion.

It was playing with fire and ice too close to each other.

_How is she able to do this? How can Lemura make this happen? Who is she? No..._what _is she?_

Merlin opened his eyes. Larva hadn't moved an inch. She was unnaturally still. Actually, she was completely still, like a statue. She just kept staring at Merlin with those empty eyes, like embers in the dim room.

Merlin eyed her form. Now that he knew she had died in those woods, alone and bleeding, looking at her made his insides turn into a knot. She was dead. Dead and cold, torn to pieces. _Eaten_ alive. Yet there she sat, in the shadows, unmoving undead corpse.

She let out a smile. Too wide. Too devilish. Too insane. -It takes time to think it through. Makes your head hurt, I bet. You silly goose." She let out a giggle that made Merlin flinch. Her body was unnaturally still, the laughter sounding like it didn't come from her mouth at all. It was hollow.

-Yet thinking doesn't change anything, so you shouldn't waste your time pondering about it." Larva added. The more she talked, the more disturbing she looked. It was like she had suddenly dropped all of her mannerisms and seemingly innocent, exited movements. She didn't even blink.

She caught him eyeing her. She smiled again, revealing her teeth. Merlin's magic suddenly shoved itself backwards, like trying to escape from her, like urging him to escape. Like it had seen a glimpse of something that wasn't there for the eye to see.

-Oh, Merlin. Stop pretending. You're terrified. And disappearing. But at least you are one of the few people that realize it by themselves before they are gone. You tried so hard to put this all together before it all collapsed, but you were too late. Now get over it. The prince's deal is done, and there is no way out of those. So stop pretending." Her unblinking eyes darkened. -At least I have."

Merlin swallowed. He tried to push the panicked and swirling thoughts back and concentrate on the situation. He took a deep breath. He needed time. -Stop pretending what?" he whispered.

Larva's face didn't change. It didn't even flinch. -This." her voice suddenly became monotonous, it lacked any kind of colour or emotion. -This theathre play. It has been amusing but all so tiring." she said like a machine.

Merlin didn't like the way this was going. He could sense there was something that had just changed in the atmosphere, in her. Larva was completely still. If she didn't talk, Merlin could have sworn she was a statue - cold, unmoving, unblinking. _Unnatural._

Suddenly, she stood up. The movement startled Merlin after such a long time of staying completely still. He took one step back instinctively, eyes hardening. If Larva had been frightening before, it seemed like an innocent spook compared to this.

Her movements were mechanic. They didn't have anything spontaneous - she did strictly only the things necessary to move. Merlin felt a slight lump form to his throat. _Stay calm._

-I'm bored, you know? People are so stupid." Larva said, and her voice was still incredibly monotone. She stepped forward and Merlin hesitated backing away. He didn't.

-They can't see. They are blind. Blind and ignorant. But there are people like you that sense something from me. From the start. It has nothing to do with eyesight, no. You just knew there was something very odd about me. You _felt_ it instead of seeing. And that is a very dangerous talent, Merlin. I can see it is strong and vivid inside you, but oh, so hidden. I can see you, but you can't see me. Would you like to?"

She closed the gap between them, stopping in front of him. Merlin had to use all the strength he got to stay put and not run as far away as his legs could carry him. He stood still, tensed and stiffen like a violin string, heart thundering in his eyes. Her dead, unblinking eyes came closer. Merlin shivered in front of her, locking his blue eyes with hers. He faintly realized he was shaking.

-...See me?" she said. -Would you like to see me like I can see you? See through the facade I'm holding? The heavy red curtains?"

Merlin bit his lip. He didn't trust his voice. His nails dug into his own skin as he clenched his fists harder. Larva's eyes lingered. -See me instead of _her_?" she said, and spat the last word so despisingly that the sudden emotion made Merlin wince.

There was a tensed and heavy silence as they both stood quietly in the dim room, like holding their breaths before the strike. Merlin tried to keep himself together, tried not to give into her plan, whatever it was.

He wanted to see, and yet he didn't. He was sure he wouldn't like it.

-Do you remember when I brushed your little bandage on your neck? Quickly, back in my chambers?"

Merlin did. How she had looked like a beast, ready to attack, for a one fleeting moment.

-I didn't touch your skin. No one touches mine. For a good reason." She stepped one step closer. Her eyes looked icy, despite how dead they were.

Merlin hesitated, adrenaline pumping in him. He could back away and run, or try to buy time. He didn't know where she was getting at. He felt hypnotized, somehow. Too scared to move and break the spell, to break the fragile moment and the false feeling of stability.

-I'll show you. I'll show you me." Larva whispered and suddenly she lifted her left arm up so quickly that Merlin gasped in surprise and tried to back away, but before he could do anything, Larva's hand curled around his throat.

Merlin froze. Her touch send millions of icy vibrations to his skin, like burning ice on his skin. Air escaped from Merlin and he felt like his body was drifting away even if his eyesight seemed to sharpen. The world around him stopped.

Everything stopped. The few candles in the room started to flicker angrily, almost going out. Merlin felt how her fingertips pressed onto his skin. Merlin lifted his arms to push her away, but slowly realized his arms didn't work. They didn't even flinch. He was completely unable to move, like he had suddenly been paralyzed.

All of this happened in a few seconds. Merlin felt like a rag doll in her grip. It was like steel, holding him up but not strangling him. Larva stood in front of her, tall and pale, her flowery scent everywhere around him.

All of those disturbing seconds passed by. Merlin was blinking, staring at her in mute silence. He tried everything to break free, but not even one muscle flinched. _What is she doing? What is she waiting for? _Merlin's mind tried to figure out any good explanations.

Then suddenly, he felt it. His thougts went completely quiet. He didn't breath or blink. He didn't do anything, just concentrated on the odd feeling on his neck.

Slowly, very slowly, the fingers around it started to feel sharper, more painful. Even if Larva didn't move at all, something in her fingers changed. She didn't move them, but the way they pressed on Merlin's skin changed.

The fingetips had now a sharp edge that dugged into his skin. Then the sensation continued. It started to crawl up to the fingers to the hand. Merlin suddenly felt faint air flow to the spots that were covered before by her hand. He held his breath.

She didn't look away from his eyes. Merlin concentrated on the odd feeling. Her hand turned into a sharp and stinging one, like it had suddenly become hard like stone. It drilled onto his windpipe, but the pressure didn't grow. Confused, Merlin tried to look down, but couldn't see properly.

Then suddenly a horrifying thought hit him. Merlin was too afraid to let it into his head. He stayed frozen, waiting. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. But soon, Merlin could see a flash of something white.

He gasped and looked down. He could see Larva's wrist now. Slowly, the skin on it turned pale and white, then it started to come streaky and grey. Then it started to rot and shrink, revealing the white bones.

Merlin was filled with nausea. The transformation crawled upper towards her arm - slowly the skin continued to die away - rot. Merlin realized in horror that the fingers around his throat were bones. Cold, hard, skinless bones - that's why they were so sharp and stingy.

He felt sick. The skin on her arm peeled away bit by bit. Merlin wanted to look away, but he couldn't. He wanted to struggle, but he couldn't. He tried to use magic, but couldn't. He was completely trapped, forced to watch. He watched, disgusted, as her arm was completely bony now, just some pieces of rotten flesh were hanging from the dirty bones.

Slowly her flowery scent was disappearing. Instead, Merlin could smell death. A dying corpse, the fumes and the rotting progress. He felt so sick that he just wanted to scream and kick and get away from her, but he was trapped inside his own body. His heart thundered, adrenaline raged inside his veins and everything inside him shook.

Now her chest and her neck were transforming. All bone, all rotten flesh, few nerves hanging loose. Merlin felt the nausea become furiously worse. The smell got worse. He felt slightly dizzy but his eyes stayed clear and sharp. He could see every detail perfectly. She kept staring at him. When her cheeks started to collapse inwards, she let out a twisted smile.

-Can you see me now, Merlin? Can you?" she whispered. Merlin looked at her, her destroyed and dead body. He saw madness. He saw a corpse, that wasn't breathing or living. He saw a corpse that had a voice and eyes, but not emotion.

He succumbed into panic. Unable to struggle, he just stared at her when her hair became just thin strings and her eyelashes dropped to the ground. Her skull had most of the flesh left hanging. Her ribs could be seen here and there, with long scratches on them. Her dress was now ripped to pieces, torn by what seemed like nails of an animal. _The wolves..._

Her rotten, black teeth were revealed when she smiled once again. -Aren't I beautiful? Aren't I captivating? I wonder if Bayard would still take me, even if I'm a little rough around the edges and I can scream now. I bet it wouldn't bother him, he could just fall into the old habit. He had _so _much fun." she said with a dark voice.

She gripped him tighter. -You see, Merlin. You see it now, see me. And I can see you. Pure power, energy, you are. You're more like magic than a human, did you know that? But there is also hate. Frustration. Bitterness. Ah, every shades of the dark side rainbow. I love it." Larva hissed, bits of her tongue falling from her mouth as she spoke.

Merlin wanted to squeeze his eyes shut, but couldn't. He prayed it would stop.

-You're as good as dead. Almost as dead as me, Merlin. Why fight? Soon some of the people won't recognize you or remember you. They can't miss you when you never existed. Why bother? To try and change things? You have dedicated your life to someone who is ungrateful, selfish, cold, uncaring and unkind. You never ask anything back, and you have almost died for him, too. Why _bother_?"

Her voice was emotionless. -As these 24 hours pass, you and your timeline will be gone. You are ceasing to exist. The people are disappearing already. Like you are. Or then they are moved to the spot they are supposed to be on the next life. Everything you ever accomplished is gone. You can't fight it. Soon you will lose feeling from your body. Those wounds will become numb. You will feel nothing when you finally fade away. You will forget who you are, in the end. Because there can't be a memory of you, not even your memory of yourself. You will succumb into the edge of the spirit world. There are other people like you, pushed aside from the new timeline's way. All of you will be like jetsam, casted away, floating in the nothingness."

Larva studied him.

-I bet you have already seen bits of them, heard some of them talk, maybe. They are all waiting for you. The ghosts. The spirits. Whatever term you prefer. The more time passes, the futher away you slip from this world. From the people around you. I suggest you give up, for once in your life, for trying to do the impossible and just do whatever you like. It's your last day on Earth. You have now seen me and I have seen you. Skin and flesh and bone are just ornaments glued around people's souls, yet people judge by them. The book by its cover...How wrong they are. You can destroy a soul by abusing the ornaments. I looked like this on the inside, long before those wolves ripped my carotide and chewed up my body parts next to my ear. Bayard was the one who murdered me, not those wolves. Just like it is Arthur that murdered you, not Lemura."

She tightened her grip and pulled him close. The morbid scent of her rotting body filled Merlin's nostrils and he could feel nausea almost drowning him.

-Now, let's get the facade back up, shall we? The stage is ours. Because we are lot a like, you and me - or my previous living self. Playing the role, hiding your true self. Always under the boot of someone that will always just abuse you. Yes, Merlin. We are kin."

_You're wrong. You're wrong. You're wrong. I'm nothing like you. Stop. Stop it. Please, oh God, release me..._

Then suddenly, she let go. Merlin just collapsed to the floor, all of his mucsles numb and unworking. But the moment he hit the ground, life came back to his body and he was able to move, to think, to do magic. But he was too dizzy and too nauseous to even think clearly. His hands shook, and they were very pale. Merlin looked up, shaking, as her horrible body started to grow back. The scent of death started to fade. Merlin held his breath to stop himself from being sick and pressed the back of his hand tightly to his shaking lips.

Her face grew back, along with her hair. Merlin didn't trust his wobbly legs, so he just backed by crawling a few of the steps toward the door. Then he stopped, and watched as Larva looked complete again. The smell was gone. All was left was her cold eyes. She tilted her head and crossed her arms. It looked odd.

-So, I'm Larva and you're Merlin. Now, right now. The facades are up. Both of us are human. Both living. Both breathing. Even if you and me know we are not." She let out a dark smile. -Being human. That is one hell of a role, isn't it?"

Merlin struggled up, taking support from the door frame, breathing rapid and raspy. His heart felt like it was about to explode. She walked closer.

-But don't applaud yet. The show is not over."

Merlin looked quickly sideways. There was a small knife in the table. _I got to stop her. Whatever she is, she is bad news. She will help Lemura to do this. She will hurt you or Arthur.  
><em>

Usually Merlin would think it all through, hesitate to the last moment to hurt someone. But now, full of adrenaline and panic, his eyes just flared up to gold and the knife flew through the air quickly. Merlin caught it instinctively and with a quick movement and a sharp gasp, he shoved the blade into her chest.

There was a small frozen moment. Larva didn't even flinch, didn't even look down. She just raised an eyebrow mockingly. Her face was disturbing to watch, now that Merlin knew what it really looked like. Her glare was intense. -My, my, my. Did you already forget what you just saw? She looked down to the knife and then back at Merlin. Merlin stared at her, eyes wide, knuckles white on the door frame.

She reached out her hand and pulled the knife out, just like that. Then she dropped it to the ground. _Clang. _She looked darkly at him. -Everyone has a breaking point, Merlin. I only have my bones. And no soul. Didn't you figure that out yet? I have _no_ soul whatsoever. I'm a dead woman walking. The soul had left this body before the wolves started to fight over their food. "

Merlin straightened up, magic building up inside him in a panicked instinct. Larva sighed. -I know you are not afraid of many things or many people. There are only few enemies and few things you choose to fear, and now you have picked the right person. You should be scared of me, yes. But you should be terrified, Merlin, _terrified _of Lemura. If you think I'm frightening, she's the real boogie here. Soulless corpses walking are least of your problems." she said, teasingly.

Then she flashed a smile that had a shade of insanity in it. -Run to your silly prince. Get a closure. You'll disappear happier." she said.

And without another word, Larva walked to the door. She was about to leave when she turned back one more time. -By the way, I hope my little murder attempt doesn't bother you. I just needed to slow you down and make sure you didn't mess things up. I succeeded. You didn't get there in time, the prince fell to the limbo anyway. So no hard feelings. Well, if I _had_ feelings." Larva said and let out a loud giggle.

Then she gave Merlin one last dead look and disappeared from the door. Breathing heavily in and out for a while, Merlin slided to the floor. He buried his face into his hands. And finally, the desperate small tears broke free.

* * *

><p>Gaius came into the room some time after. At first he didn't notice Merlin, which made Merlin feel even more miserable. Shakily he started to explain the situation to the old physician. His voice broke several times. He tried not to ramble or overreact, and tried to be optimistic and hopeful, but it was getting harder and harder every second.<p>

By the time he got into the end, Gaius didn't say anything for a long time. Then he pulled Merlin into his arms and hugged him. He didn't murmur any words filled with fake hope to him. He didn't tell him it was going to be alright. They both knew it wasn't. They just sat there, unmoving, silent.

The air was heavy to breathe in.

-Merlin. I don't remember what we spoke about earlier today." Gaius said very quietly.

Merlin turned his head away, his eyes burning. Then he squeezed them shut. -It's alright, Gaius. It's not your fault." he whispered, voice thick. -You are forgetting me, just like Arthur is. You can't help it. You belong to this new timeline, but I don't."

Gaius didn't reply. Merlin took a shuddering breath. -You and Arthur. And maybe Gwen. You are the people that won't probably disappear. You will just forget me."

The old physician sighed. -There are other people like you, Merlin. Like Morgana, for example. She will never be born, either. Or Morgause in that matter." Gaius swallowed. He clearly wanted to say that wouldn't happen, but couldn't lie.

-How can I try to fix this whole thing if nobody remembers me? Or believes me? What if you all forget that there was any deal at all? What if you can't soon see me anymore?" Merlin asked with a pained voice. He pressed his forehead against his knees.

Gaius was clearly thinking. -But Larva doesn't seem to hold any interest to you anymore, Merlin. She got what she wanted, you out of the way in the right moment. She shouldn't be a threat to you right now. But they all keep saying that once you've made the deal with Lemura, you can't go back. Is there any other way to stop this? Even your magic isn't powerful enough to change the timelines." Gaius mumbled.

Merlin let out a shuddering breath. -If we can't undo Arthur's deal and I can't do anything about the timeline, what else is there?"

-I don't know, Merlin. I really wish I could give you an answer."

-My logic says that Arthur is the only one that could do something about it. But what could he do? He is changing, Gaius. If I never existed, he never met me. I already noticed how he started to become like his old self, the prat - smug, rude and arrogant. I could see the signs, even if I didn't realize what was happening back then. If it continues...he won't listen to me. Or care about me. I'm just a faceless servant that he doesn't even remember talking to. That is, if I remain visible that long." Merlin said bitterly.

-Don't give up yet. Admitting defeat is like accepting this. We have to fight." Gaius said with a warm voice.

They fell into silence for a long time.

Merlin thought about everything that had happened and had been said. He went through all of the conversations with Larva and Lemura.

-What is their connection? I don't understand...there has to be one." he mumbled. -Why didn't the knife burn Arthur? How is Bayard involved in all of this?"

Gaius just shook his head.

Then suddenly, it dawned on Merlin. Thing seemed to click all of a sudden. -Of course. Why didn't I think of that!" he blurted out.

-What is it?" Gaius said, voice tense.

Merlin got quickly up. He chose to ignore the fact that all of his wounds, bruises, lack of food and sleep and his broken fingers didn't protest against the movement and just ached faintly. He ignored the fact that he knew what that meant, what was slowly happening to him. He was too exited to care.

-Of course, Gaius! All the times I was in limbo I was completely under Lemura's control. But I was never really there, right? I got there because of a spell. I was never in the brink of death, not really. The people that go there without magic are actually dying. The spell I used doesn't break the connection between the body and the soul, so I was able to come back via magic. So in a real situation, the soul must leave the body. It goes to limbo, all by its own. That why they are all so lost there, because they don't know where they are or how they got there."

Gaius tried to follow. He clearly couldn't. Slowly, he stood up and then just raised an eyebrow. -What do you mean?"

Merlin spread his arms. -I need to be dying. Now that I still can. In the real way, not just fading away. Then I can get to limbo and actually control where I am going. I wouldn't be her puppet. If I can find out how Lemura is doing this, I might be able to stop this in time. "

-No. Merlin."

-It's the only way. The limbo is filled with memories, right? If I can get my hands on some of Lemura's or Larva's memories, it could reveal something important. Like why the knife was used? Who is Lemura and how is she doing this? Everything!" The new energy felt so good after the desperation. -I just need to be dying." he finished.

-No, Merlin. We can not be sure that you can control your path in limbo. Also, the time passes differently. If you were really dying, then we can't have any guarantee that you will come back in time."

Merlin took a long, careful breath. The air was filled with a feeling of finality. He looked warmly at the physician.-That is really not the biggest concern right now." he said softly. -If I'll die anyway, trying to stop this is a good way to go." he said carefully.

Gaius looked away, and suddenly looked very old. -Oh, my dear boy." he mumbled. The dim candles reflected the light on his eyes.

-It's the best plan we've got. And the time is running out." Merlin said in a serious tone.

Gaius let out a deep sigh. He looked at Merlin, eyes sad. -It would seem so."

-So you'll help me?"

-Always." Gaius said, giving him a weak smile. -Always, Merlin."

Merlin nodded. Then he took a deep breath, and twitched his broken fingers a little._ Arthur_, he thought quickly, remembering how the prince had fixed his fingers. The memory of him made Merlin feel more confident. He forced the aching fear away from his chest, and swallowed the lump from his throat. Merlin knew it was time to stop being careful and rational. The atmosphere darkened around him.  
>Merlin chose not to pay attention to the flashes of shadows and white reflections he could see now in the edge of his vision, playing hide and seek in the room. They sent a shiver down Merlin's spine, but that wasn't able to eat away his determination. <em>I'm not one of them. I'm not a ghost. Not yet. While I'm still here, still this side of the border, still breathing and still me, I will fight until the end. Even if I don't win, I'll make one hell of a fight. Lemura and Larva will see that. I owe that to everyone I've ever known. And most importantly, to myself. For everything I am and ever was.<br>_

So slowly, he lifted his chin. -Which poison will it be, then?"


	18. Chapter 17

Hey!

It took me some time to update, but I've been so damn busy with my school and searching for a summer job and all that kind of stuff that I simply didn't have the time and the energy to write this down.

But here it is, chapter seventeen, and I think this chapter is worth a wait! :) The situation is getting pretty bad in Camelot, and it's all just calm before the storm.

Your reviews would mean the world to me right now. They would give me the energy to update sooner. :)

Story: Jetsam (Chapter seventeen)

by: **Niphrehdil**

* * *

><p>It was almost oddly calm.<p>

Merlin had started to lose the feeling of fear and anxiety. In the back of his mind, he knew it wasn't just because he had finally something to do. No - it was him, disappearing. He was losing himself - the feelings, the emotions, the thoughts. It was slow and numbing - not really that terrifying that he had thought. He might have felt despair for being able to see the process, knowing exactly what was happening, but he wasn't.

Merlin knew he had no time to panic. Not anymore. They were running out of _hours_ now. Soon it would be hard to Gaius to remember their earlier conversations. About Larva, Lemura, limbo or any of the events that had lead to this moment. How long would it take for the old physician to forget how this whole thing had started? Or their conversations, theories? Even Larva herself?

And of course, the most poignant question was: when was Gaius going to forget Merlin?

_Stop it. _That was what his own mind kept repreating to him. Merlin felt like he had to thank for the slowly increasing numb state his body and his mind was drifting into. It made it easier to accept the situation and try everything he could.

Merlin tried not to think about Arthur. But his throat tightened every time the prince crossed his mind - Merlin had seen the signs. Arthur was becoming like his previous self - arrogant, pompous, naive. It was rather surprising. If Ygraine had been alive, wouldn't it had changed Arthur's personality? Ygraine had seemed a warm-hearted and a caring woman. It just didn't seem probable. But then again, there weren't much else that made sense in the whole situation.

As Merlin sat in the middle of the physician's chambers, he looked around. He was losing the feeling of the world around him. Now that he knew it, he could pay attention to it - the candles seemed a bit duller, the room seemed more distant, the air flowing through his lungs a bit emptier. It was like he was becoming feverish, out of order, sinking into a haze. Merlin felt bad for the countless people that were experiencing the same thing - probably without realizing it.

Gaius walked quietly around the room, gathering the herbs and potion bottles, checking some books. They had not spoken much - Gaius had just said that he knew what poison would be the best.

Merlin wished it wouldn't be painful. He would have preferred something quiet and calm. Not such poisons like hemlock - dying because of asphyxiation was a cruel way to go. Merlin shivered, his concience flashing an image of dying Morgana to him. _Maybe I deserve this._

Merlin was in two minds - he wanted to say goodbye to Arthur - just in case something went wrong. Also because...soon the prince wouldn't even care enough to say goodbye. They were drifting apart already, becoming slowly strangers. Somehow the thought hurt him much more than the fact that he might die soon.

Dying while knowing who you are seemed a lot better than fading away until you couldn't even remember yourself.

But on the other hand, Merlin didn't want to see the prince. He wanted to remember Arthur as he had been until this moment - someone who had changed. Made mistakes but also regretted them. Ruled but asked advice. Learnt to say thank you. Every small detail, every fraction of their friendship was Merlin's hidden treasure.

_I'm going to lose it before the end. Arthur. I won't remember him either. _

The raw emotions failed to sting. Merlin just sighed, brushing his forehead - ignoring the sound of the ghosts and spirits in the other side. He could hear them now, all the time, but was still able to block them if he concentrated enough. He wasn't that lucky with his eyesight. He kept constantly seeing flashes, light bending, shadows in the room. The spirits were restless.

-Merlin?" Gaius called quietly. Merlin looked up, brushing his eyes quickly. The physician looked very old and tired, turning towards him.

-Is there anything you need to do before this?" Gaius asked, eyes gleaming in the dim light.

For a moment, Merlin lingered in the line of hesitation. _The knights have already vanished. My mother is too far away...Kilgarrah will know anyhow. Arthur...  
><em>Merlin had to look away from the physician. His eyes burned faintly.

-No. I'm fine. Just..." Merlin moved his arms awkwardly, words got stuck into his throat.

Gaius sighed. -I know, Merlin. You don't need to explain. I understand...You're dear to me, too. "

Merlin took air in too quickly and had to gasp. Dust danced in the air in slow circles. The candles seemed even more dim than before. He bit his lip. _It's time to go to the limbo and after Lemura. _

-I'm ready." Merlin said, looking up. He tried to ignore his shaky composure. -What did you choose?"

-Belladonna. Or devil's cherry, it has many names. It will give us some time. It won't be peaceful or painless, but it has other advantages - strong symptoms indicate when the antidote is needed and with the aid of magic, the damages can be repaired."

-What are the symptoms?" Merlin asked a bit warily.

-Dizziness, nausea, blurred vision, loss of balance, headache, difficulty to talk, hallucinations and in the worst case, convulsions." Gaius said. As professional as the old man was, his voice still cracked a bit.

Merlin felt an icy wave go through him, but he ignored it. He had been through a lot...A lot of pain and suffering. It did not sound pleasant - far from it - but what other options did he have?

Gaius sighed. -Merlin, I would have given you something that would make it quiet, quick and painless - but I need to be sure when to interfere. Our goal is not to kill you."

_Just to put me in the brink of death. This plan must be one of the most dangerous things I've ever done..._

Merlin took a deep breath. _Don't think about it too much. Don't consider the possibilty Gaius won't be able to heal you.  
><em>He blocked the grim thought - rather die a hero than fade away completely. He wouldn't lose hope.

_-_Alright." Merlin said determinedly and offered his hand. Gaius had a pained look on his face.

-I'm truly sorry for everything, Merlin. It shouldn't have gone this way."

-I know, Gaius. But this is the only thing that just might save me and the others, all of us - the whole timeline." They shared a small, sad smile. Then Gaius gave Merlin a potion bottle, filled with greenish liquid.

Merlin tried not to think about it when he sat down to the bed next to the fire. He would have wanted to post-pone it, but he didn't. Instead, he yanked the bottle open and without a second of hesitation, he downed the content in one go.

The poison tasted sticky and bittersweet. Merlin had drank poison once before, but he didn't have much memories of it, or they were all very vague. Arthur never really wanted to talk about it, neither did Gaius. He just remembered drinking from the goblet...then he had trouble breathing. But then it was just black.

First thing to kick in was the nausea. Merlin started to feel shaky and ill. Time began to soon blur, as Merlin's eyesight swung. He gripped the edge of the bed with his healthy hand and took some deep, calming breaths. Gaius was right there next to him, Merlin knew it, but he couldn't concentrate on him.

Instead, the shadows and flashes in the room suddenly started to have shapes. The voices of the spirits and ghosts became louder, until they were very loud, drowning everything down that Gaius said to him. _The spirit world...is coming closer. The limbo...The lines are already shaky... _

His thoughts started to became muddled and incoherent. Merlin blinked hard. But the nausea waved back and forth, his eyesight was blear. He felt dizzy and tired. His magic was squirming inside his veins, clearly fighting back to the poison.

He refused to panic. He refused to realize what he was doing - poisoning himself. Endangering his own life to enter limbo. Risking everything to have anwers. He fought back to the fear - he wanted to do this. Even as his heart started to beat unsteadily, Merlin squeezed his eyes for a moment.

_ For all of them._

Merlin lost the feeling from his hands. He knew he was holding on from the sides of the bed, but couldn't actually feel it. The room was swinging. The sickening way it turned and twisted just increased Merlin's nausea. He hoped that it would soon be over.

Like through a haze, he realized he was swaying on his place. But also that there was an odd banging noise all of a sudden. Then the spirits got so loud that it drowned the banging sound.

Merlin wasn't sure whether he experienced hallucinations or did he just see bits of the spirit world. He thought he saw some familiar faces, but was too tired to remember who. Gaius' shape twisted in odd angles and he seemed to move and talk. He was talking loudly - maybe even shouting, that much Merlin realized, but no matter how much he tried to concentrate, he couldn't make out what he was saying.

Then Arthur suddenly appeared from nowhere, and Merlin stared at the blurry figure. It was a very believable hallucination, it looked exactly like Arthur. The Arthur he knew, not the arrogant one. His eyes were wide and he was saying something to Gaius.

Then he disappeared from sight. So did Gaius. The room spun. Distantly Merlin realized that they hadn't disappeared, but his head just lolled forward - was he falling? No, he wasn't. Someone's arms were there - he knew that textile, he had washed it earlier...

Arthur was there again, no much closer. Actually, very close. Merlin blinked hard but the image didn't sharpen.

-_Merlin!"_ an oddly panicked voice shouted, that much Merlin understood. It sounded unhuman and it echoed badly, but Merlin recognized his own name. Then the room spun again, the spirits roared now to his ears, some of them forming to look like actual people, but Merlin wasn't able to look at them.

He was so tired, so sick, so thirsty. His ears were ringing and his magic seemed to be screaming for help.

_Why don't you do anything?" _a voice demanded and Merlin wasn't sure whether that was a hallucination, a ghost, or Arthur or Gaius. The sensation of falling filled him, and Merlin gave in to it.

He could smell a familiar scent - it was the same soap he had used before, he knew this scent...Blackness. The spirits roaring to his ears. Merlin could hear his own heart beating unsteadily. His magic screaming. Arthur's voice...People running.

Nausea. His vision blurring in and out. Then he lost it completely. He didn't feel anything. Not even the nausea. The last coherent thing he observed was the scent of the soap again, the one he had used earlier, the one Arthur always smelled like...

Gaius' voice. Lights. Flashes. Roaring voices cutting in and out.

Then, black.

* * *

><p>The courtyard. The courtyard filled with mist and blue light. Merlin was standing there. But unlike during his earlier visits in limbo - everything was sharp. He could feel, see, think straight. He was fully in control of himself - his head wasn't filled with the usual numbness and porridge-like mud of the limbo.<p>

_I did it. I'm in limbo. _

Merlin knew he wasn't dead. He was on the brink of death, probably on the physician's chambers. He knew the time went by differently in here, so he had to use it well and learn how to strech it.

Gaius would soon revive him - wait, hadn't that been Arthur in the room? _Oh no. No, no, no, Arthur, you weren't supposed to see that. And Gaius is supposed to heal me with magic and the antidote, you can't be there! Otherwise Gaius' magic will be exposed._

The emotions hit him now, they almost punched the air out of him - the agony, the fear, the panic, the worry - suddenly he could feel again properly. He was himself again, not the disappearing wreck - in here, he was strong. The emotions were almost overwhelming. It was like being thrown into icy water after spending time next to the fireplace. And it also appeared that he wasn't able to feel any pain in his hand or in his neck. His broken fingers and other injuries were gone - he could move them without feeling any pain.

Merlin realized how muddy his own head had been, back there in the real world. He hadn't been in his full senses - the contrast was raging now that he could think sharply. A lump formed to his throat as he thought about the possibility of Arthur being there. _Gaius will heal me, even if it might cost him his secret. The magic. Arthur will be there and see him healing me with magic..._

Merlin had to hold his own fist against his mouth to control his breathing.

_Stop panicking. Now it's not the time to think about that. The time passes differently, you might be in a hurry. There is no time to waste. Focus. On Larva. No, you know her story already - Lemura._

Merlin concentrated on the image of the courtyard, shoving the memory of Lemura towards it. Surprisingly, the world around him immediately changed. It blurred into another one in the blink of an eye. Merlin gasped when he took a look where he was - on the Isle of the Blessed. There stood Cailleach - the gatekeeper of the spirit world. Also, there stood Larva.

They clearly couldn't see him, this seemed to be a memory.

-You can not break the rules, Larva." Cailleach said.

She nodded. -I know."

-I give this task to you because there are not many people that are as special as you." Cailleach said with a serious voice.

Larva didn't answer. She was silent for a long time. -I need to revenge. I need to revenge my death and what that pig did to me every night. I want him to suffer." she spat.

Cailleach eyed her somewhat sadly.

-Please." Larva said, sounding shockinly vulnerable. -Please give me that chance. Otherwise he'll just die some day and go to the other side. Then I can never reach him."

-That is not possible, Larva." Cailleach said slowly. -You are a mask. You know this, we raised you, all of the Shadow Breakers. You are now in the limbo, the barrier between the world of the living and the spirit world. Some people enter this place and die, some people go back to life. Your body is destroyed. Even if you wanted to go back, it isn't possible."

Larva shook her head, teeth clenched. -But I _need _my revenge. I need it. I can't rest until that sick man is ripped to shreds. Just like I was. Please, Cailleach, I beg you. Give me just a day. One day, and I will come back to you and I can go wherever I need to. _One day."_

Cailleach studied at her for a long time, looking sad and pitiful. -You are using my sympathy for you against me. If I hadn't raised you, I wouldn't do this. But if you truly think you can not rest, I will give you one day. But one day only. You can do whatever you want with it, but then you'll have to let go."

Larva nodded furiously. -Yes, yes! I will. Thank you, Cailleach. What about my body?"

Cailleach sighed. -I will mask it. I can not repair it because it is torn and eaten, but I can put a spell on it that it will make it look whole. But remember this - if any living thing touches it, the mask disappears. Meanwhile the remains rot like they would if they were left untouched."

Larva nodded. -Yes, I'll remember. Now, sent me back." she demanded. Cailleach closed her eyes and clearly concentrated on something. The memory seemed to blur, but just before it ended, Merlin could see the mad, satisfied gleam and insane smile on Larva's lips. Then she started to chant, making carefully sure Cailleach didn't see. A shiver went through Merlin.

Then all of it was gone. Merlin blinked and looked around - he was back in Camelot's courtyard. It was empty and hollow again. He stood there, confused.

_If I concentrated on Lemura, why did I get a memory of Larva being resurrected? Though it makes sense now: Cailleach and the other Shadow Breakers raised her, then she got lost from them, she was taken to Mercia, then killed and died. Then Cailleach gave her one more day to revenge - but wasn't this years ago? Her 'one day' must have passed already..._

Things clicked.

_Oh, but Larva didn't return after one day. No, because she is in Camelot now, and her body was badly rotten. She refused to let go after that one day, she wanted Bayard to suffer. But Larva said to me that she hasn't got a soul when I stabbed her. Is she just a corpse then? But how is Lemura connected to this? _

Merlin's confused thoughts swirled.

_If Larva is a dead woman walking, a soulles body, where is her soul now? It couldn't have passed on because then Larva wouldn't be able to walk and talk. _

Click.

_Oh God, her soul is still in the limbo. That spell she casted just before Cailleach sent her back to her body. She tricked Cailleach. But Larva never went back, did she? Larva has no soul. She is a walking dead. Larva enchanted her soul to stay in the limbo. Her rage and fury for Bayard was so strong that he managed to rip her own soul and body apart._

_But where is her soul now?_

For a moment, the pieces of the puzzle didn't fit. Merlin turned them around, remembering everything he had found out earlier, bits of conversations and memories swirling in his mind.

CLICK.

_Oh God. No, no, no..._

Merlin gasped loudly. _Lemura is Larva's soul! _

Millions of pieces clicked suddenly together. It was a moment of huge realization - everything fit perfectly now. It all made sense now. Larva and Lemura were the same person - a soul and a body - but they were separated. That explained why they looked so much alike. The truth was overwhelming and scary - her rage for Bayard was stronger than anything else - even Cailleach's magic.

Lemura - the soul - she controlled limbo. She ruled it, it was her playground. She was so much bitter and colder than Larva - suddenly memory of Larva's earlier worlds flashed into his mind:

_"I know you are not afraid of many things or many people. There are only few enemies and few things you choose to fear, and now you have picked the right person. You should be scared of me, yes. But you should be terrified, Merlin, _terrified _of Lemura. If you think I'm frightening, she's the real boogie here. Soulless corpses walking are least of your problems."_

Merlin shivered badly and suddenly felt the urge to hide. The limbo around him felt like a cage, a prison now. Lemura ruled here, this was her dark empire. She had somehow took over limbo and she had become more powerful than anything Merlin had faced - she could bend time and timelines. She wasn't touched by the rules of the Old Religion - they didn't seem to oblige to her.

All this time they had been worried about Larva, but just like she had said - Lemura was the real boogie here. She was the one with all the power, all of the fury.

Suddenly, an empty laugh cut the air. Merlin turned around on his heels, goosebumps crawling up his spine.

-You figured it out, didn't you?" a familiar voice said. -The connection? Congratulations, Emrys. But it won't do you much favor. You and your timeline is already disappearing, the deal is made. There is nothing you can do to stop this anymore." Lemura said.

She was standing further away. Her eyes were emotionless.

Merlin looked at her and lifted his chin. -Yes, I figured it out." he breathed out. -Larva is just an empty body. She isn't that much of a threat at all - she is malicious and capable of manipulating people, but it isn't real. She works on the memory or the instinct of the soul she used to have - you. I've read about it, once. It had never once crossed my mind before. A part of Larva's magic didn't leave her body when she died, and when Cailleach brought her back to life, that magic entwined with the spell. Now she is a corpse walking, masked to look like a living person even if she is just rotting bones. "

-Correct." Lemura said. She kept staring at Merlin, without blinking. Now that Merlin's instincts were sharp, he could sense the power radiating from her. It sent shivers down his spine, his instincts screaming. His magic squirmed - Merlin could sense how scaringly powerful she truly was. He felt the insane urge to run away and hide from her - but he stayed put. He forced the fear down. He couldn't let her know he was terrified of her, of the enormous power and rage she contained.

Yet, she looked completely calm. It just all made it much more twisted.

Lemura tilted her head. -You're dying, Emrys. You're body is convulsing back in the other side. Did you decide this was an easier way to go?" she snarled.

-No. I came here to look for answers. And now I got them." Merlin said defiantly. The thought of his own body convulsing back in Gaius' chambers wasn't really a pleasant thing to think about, but he ignored it.

She lifted an eyebrow. -Oh, please. You might have figured our connection out, but there is so much more that you don't know. For example, have you had any luck figuring out your suddenly broken fingers? Or why people are murdering each other? Or why and how I got the sweet prince into limbo? What is the purpose of this all?"

Merlin took a deep breath. Adrenaline banged faintly in his veins. -Some of it, yes. I know that you drive people mad by infecting their dreams with dead loved ones. You continue until the people are so messed up because of the sleep deprivation, fear, guilt and exhaustion that they make a deal with you. They kill to bring their dead loved ones back to life. Except they don't actually come back to life, they just see their spirits."

She huffed. -Very good, I have to say." But then she let out a bleak smile again. - But do you know why?"

Merlin felt a sting in his chest. _No, I don't know why. Because I don't understand._

Lemura was unnaturally still. -Oh, yes. It doesn't really help knowing something happens if you don't know _why_ it happens. Your world is full of rules and restrictions - _logic_. What if I welcome you into an empire where no rules oblige, restrictions don't matter and nothing is logical? You poor humans, the children of the Old Religion, you play by the rules even if most you hate them. You whine about this and whine about that - 'why does it have to a life for a life' and all that. But if you intend to play with me, Emrys, I give you a somewhat friendly advice - there are no rules. And in the game of no rules, there are no winners or losers. There is just me."

The fact that there were nothing smug in her voice made Merlin step back a little. She wasn't threatening him - she was telling the truth. She was so powerful that she didn't need to threaten people. Maybe she knew how unnatural she made Merlin feel; how his magic could sense the bubbling, deafening power she contained.

Merlin swallowed, forcing the shiver down. He wanted to say that he wasn't afraid of her, but that would be a lie. Instead, he just lift her chin up. -I will fight until the very end. If there is a way to stop you and your own timeline from happening, I will do it."

-Yes, yes, you're all pumped up with all that destiny, right?" Lemura sighed. -It's a wonder that you actually fell for that. To be honest, there are no destinies, no prophecies. Life is pure coincidence. If your dragon told you that you are just a naive young sorcerer on a suicide mission and haven't spoken a word of those sugar-laced happy destiny fantasies - would you still be here, Emrys? Your loyalty to Prince Arthur is almost obsessive. You're obsessed with the idea of your own importance, Emrys, because it would hurt too much to see the truth. That you are a powerful sorcerer, yes, but tricked into doing what manipulative people want you to do. Dragons are lying bastards."

_No. That's not true. Don't give into her games. _Merlin was careful not to show any of his vulnerable thoughts. Doubt. There was this nagging doubt at the back of his head. It had always been there, ever since his first day in Camelot, somewhere, sometimes stronger and sometimes weaker - _what if it's all a lie? What if there is no destiny? _And she had just hit it, like a sore spot. He swallowed the small anger down.

Lemura eyed her from head to toe, looking almost pitiful. -I don't feel bad for you. But I might feel satisfied, actually, to know that you never existed. Your tragic little life that will not and was never meant to last very long, will be erased."

-How can you erase a whole timeline?" Merlin stuttered, because her poisonous words were starting to crawl into his skin. He didn't want to listen - doubt was bad. Doubt was demolishing.

Lemura blinked - it almost startled Merlin because she hadn't moved an inch for awhile. She looked around the empty, blue courtyard filled with faint smoke.  
>-People build their own worlds here, you know. In the limbo. They can create memories as much as they can rewind back to them. It is like a paradise. You are not alive nor dead - but in a place where you can be both. It's a shame just a few people actually realize their situation and start to control it. Most of them just wander here, blind and lost, alone and afraid, until they do in fact get lost. Some of them get angry. Very angry. And that helps - strong emotions. Then you can start to control. For example, Emrys, your desperation triggered your ability to see my memories. That's why you were so lost when you first came here - you weren't scared enough. Fear, panic and rage - three things that'll get you anything."<p>

Merlin bit his lip, and cursed once more how hard she was to read. -You're trying to delay me. You know there is a way of undoing this, there always is." he said, hoping that she fell for the trap. Merlin clenched his fist. -Bayard still treats Larva like trash. Your body - it is still tortured back there."

Her dark eyes flickered to his. There was a flash of raw, actual emotion in it - fury. It almost punched Merlin's air away - staring into Larva's and Lemura's eyes had been like staring at the face of death itself - no real emotion, no real hate or surprise. But there, for a moment, it had been. Merlin wasn't sure had it been his magic or his soul that had spotted it - but there had been something in her eyes. _She watched the memory of her own death the last time I was here, but it didn't seem to startle her. Larva has no actual emotions because she is dead, but Lemura...she is the soul? She must be able to feel. At least something. _

Merlin knew he was walking on thin ice, but he still continued. -Bayard found a way around the spell. Some old witch back in Mercia who undid the mask spell. She is whole now."

There was a hint of tension in her movements when she turned her head away - it looked too planned. -Liar. The mask spell can not be undone. Larva is dead. She was eaten alive and she is rotting. I don't care about Bayard. I don't care about Larva. They both are meaningless."

The way she talked about Larva in third person didn't go unnoticed from Merlin. He studied her very carefully. Merlin looked at her, how she turned towards him now, face hardened into a stone. Then it suddenly hit him. Merlin gasped. A sudden realization made his adrenaline rush once again.  
>-No they are not. You still hate Bayard. You're furious, of course you are - you just said anger is the key to control things. You are so angry that it let you took over the whole limbo. Cailleach didn't want you to rule this place - he wanted you to guide the souls forward. But you had so much energy from your hate that you made this whole place your own empire. You can control limbo because you're hatred is so much stronger than anyone else's."<p>

Millions of thoughts were swirling through Merlin's head, as conclusions clicked together.

-You throw me clues all the time. You want me to figure you out. It's just like you said - you are obsessed with your own importance, Lemura. You want to make it count - you want revenge. Much more than you want to move on or help all these lost souls. You want Bayard to suffer, but you can't reach him from the other side because he is very much alive. You know Larva has no soul and she acts on pure memory of you, _her soul -_ so it isn't enough. No matter what Larva does to Bayard, it isn't enough for you."

Lemura's face was emotionless. It didn't reveal anything, but somehow Merlin knew he had just stumbled on something important.

-How long have you been here?" Merlin breathed out. -The time goes on differently in here. At first you couldn't control it, right? You couldn't do it. Then slowly, over the years, you learnt to control it. You must have been here around five years if we are counting by the real world's standards. But has it been just days or weeks that you have been here or..."

_Click. _

Merlin felt his heart starting to beat faster, as he took a deep breath. The adrenaline was starting to flow as he was starting to understand. He looked at her, shaking his head. -Of course not. You have been here much longer than just weeks or few years, because you wouldn't be this calm. The pain and hatred you feel isn't fresh, it's contained and evolved. It isn't irrational and blind, it's cold, deep and logical. So it must be old. How long has it been, ten years? Thirty?"

Lemura just stared at him, unblinking. Then suddenly her eyes gleamed with ice.

-Six thousand years." she said with a maniac smile. Air escaped from Merlin's lips.

-I have been here six thousands years. And you know what, Emrys? Every single day of them, each and every one - I've replayed the memory of my own death. Then I watched every night of Bayard sneaking into my chambers. Over. And. Over. Again. And then again. The next day - all of them on replay. Until I felt nothing. Until I stopped crying and feeling ashamed. Until there wasn't anything - I was just numb watching him torturing me. Then came anger. And rage. And bitterness. Then I suffocated those too. I replayed my own memories until I had visualized them, remembered every breath, moan and word. Until I felt nothing."

Merlin's eyes widened, and he swallowed hard.

Lemura tilted her head, sending an icy shiver down Merlin's spine. -Some people succumb into insanity in a few months, for some it might take years. But what I have, this beautiful creation - it's perfect. Flawless." Her lips curled into an insane smile and she spread her arms into the blue air.

-I'm a whole new level of crazy, Emrys. " she said in a dangerous voice.

Merlin felt how his own magic turned almost feverish inside his own veins. His hands were shaking, so he clenched his fist tighter.

Lemura dropped her arms. -You can have your round with Larva. I don't care - she is just a corpse that someone should finish. I don't have any sentimental feelings over that bag of bones. But Bayard? He has something to do before he comes here. He was needed with the knife."

Merlin's instincts sharpened, even if his own heartbeat kept thundering in his own ears. -How do you even know about the knife? You are here in limbo."

-I have my ways. Updates." she said, waving her hand.

Suddenly Merlin saw a series of flashbacks in his mind. The girl from his very first visit in the limbo - the girl who lost her secret love. The man who had been killed, had been with Bayard when they had come to visit Camelot all those years ago. And the old couple - that woman dying - she had been living in Camelot's border areas. Suddenly Merlin remembered seeing them in one of Arthur's patrols. He hadn't really remembered them until now.

But then, a sickening thought entered Merlin's head.

-The...people that are killed? People that are murdered because of the deals? They keep you updated of the real world?" he stuttered in horror.

Lemura shrugged. -Well, I took their memories, it has nothing to do with whether they want to update me or not."

-So, that's why people are making deals? To kill enough people to keep you updated?" Merlin said with a shaky voice, disgusted.

Lemura huffed despisingly. -No. That would be dull. The updates are just the perks of the actual purpose those people and the deals have."

Merlin shook his head, both horrified and confused. But before he had the chance to say anything, he felt a rush of magic yanking him somehow backwards. Merlin felt disoriented and staggered on his own place.

-Old sorcerer to the rescue." Lemura said, lifting an eyebrow. -Didn't think he had the juice in him to bring you back. We'll see if his magic is enough."

Merlin turned to look at her, gasping. He could feel Gaius' magic pulling him back now - it was much more violent and powerful now that he actually was here in limbo.

-What is the knife for? Why did you attack Arthur with it?" Merlin demanded, knowing his time was running out.

Lemura just stared at him, face blank. -I could let your body die, you know. I could sprain the time so that you couldn't go back in your body in time. But your half-dead already, ceasing to exist. So I've decided to let you go. But don't fool yourself with fake hope. I'm not like the sorcerers of the Old Religion that you've met back in the real world. Like I said, my game has no rules."

Merlin felt how the image of courtyard started to shimmer and twist. Gaius was healing him fast.

Lemura eyed him. -Before you forget your own name, your pathetic resistance entertains me. If I _could_ feel anything, that is." Her face was a cold mask.

Merlin felt how he was fading away, being sucked away from the limbo. He was barely there anymore, drifting back into the real world. He could barely see her anymore, but the crazy sparkle of hope in him flashed. -But we both know that you _do_ feel, Lemura." Merlin breathed out.

Limbo drifted further and further away. -And I will stop you." Merlin whispered, and in a fraction of a second, something flashed in Lemura's eyes - Merlin could only faintly recognise it - doubt. A very small portion, just a hint of it - but it had been there. It disappeared as quickly as it had came, making Merlin wonder if he had seen it all.

For a moment, Merlin was trapped into nothingness. His mind blacked out. Everything was quiet and unmoving.

* * *

><p>Then, his world exploded into crimson pain and burn. It all surrounded his awareness and suddenly Merlin could feel his own body. With a sharp gasp, he snapped his blurry eyes open, drawing a greedy breath of air.<p>

Slowly, his vision started to swirl into focus. The world was spinning, nothing made sense. The scent of the familiar soap was the first coherent thing to greet him.


	19. Chapter 18

**Hi everyone!**

I'm so sorry it took me so long to update. First of all, I spent a month without an internet connection and after that I've been working almost around the clock. I simply didn't have the time to sit down and write this.

I hope you are all patient enough to still read this. It's escalating towards the end, you know. ;) And if your head doesn't hurt after reading this chapter, I should give you some kind of award. :D But I hope you all like how complicated the plot is, it takes some time to plan out and write carefully down.

This chapter enlightens a lot of the background, so please be patient. Most of the action is starting in the next chapter, I promise. ;)

As I'm still rather busy, the reviews would mean the **world** to me. So, please give it a go.

Btw, did you see the new snippets of the trailer and the blooper reel? Made me so enthusiastic for the new season. :)

Story: Jetsam (Chapter nineteen)

by: **Niphrehdil**

* * *

><p>Merlin felt sick. He felt absolutely sick and disoriented. The worst part was that if felt like he was waking up from deep sleep, but couldn't comprehend anything completely. There were whispers in his ears - some of them sounded smug, some panicked, some pleading. It took very long until Merlin realized those were the sounds of the spirits he had heard before - except now they were louder than before, more present.<p>

Merlin could barely remember where he was. He could barely remember anything important really. His mind was an unorganized chaos of memories, thoughts, and a constant urge or panic, but Merlin couldn't put his finger on it. He couldn't remember why he should be afraid or panicked.

He felt vague. Like he would be somewhere in between sleep and reality. Slowly, very slowly, Merlin started to remember. It took everything - trying to form memories, words, sentences and events into the right order. The first memory was Larva. Then Lancelot, wounded. Elyan attacking him. His throat being sliced. Lemura's dead eyes. Bayard. Arthur bumping into him. Gaius looking sad. Arthur's voice. Arthur..._Arthur?_

Merlin wasn't sure whether he was confusing reality to a dream. It distantly sounded like the prince was there, but the voice was hollow and deep, like spoken with great distress. Arthur rarely ever sounded like that. He always wanted to mask his emotions..._Alright, concentrate._

Everything felt like it was happening in slow motion. Sounds and lights swirled. Bit by bit, Merlin got a shaky grip of his own mind and logical thinking. The seriousness of the situation hit him. It was agonizing and urgent, almost making his thoughts a frantic mess again. His most important realization was that this was reality - his own, fading timeline. He was back in his own body - but it also seemed to mean that he was running out of time - and very fast.

It took effort to keep up. Merlin felt like he had to pull a heavy rope back all the time - in this case being his memories and logic. If he would lose concentration, that rope would slip out of his hands very easily, and Merlin feared if that happened... _Would I lose it completely? I'm starting to forget...I'm starting to disappear. I'm starting to forget myself. If I let that happen, I'm no use to anyone. Then the game is lost._

With a burning agony at the back of his head, Merlin wondered if Gaius and Arthur would still remember him. Gaius...Hadn't Gaius been healing him? Yes. That's what they agreed. Gaius would heal him from the poison.

Merlin tried to concentrate on his surroundings. He felt both heavy and light at the same time. Like his limbs would weigh like lead, but he couldn't really feel it. Like he was numb. But then Merlin remembered that's how he was supposed to feel. The poison he had taken. Yes. Very cruel and painful one. Belladonna. The devil's cherry. He could faintly remember the time with the Witchfinder in town. The memory was shaky. Merlin realized he was holding on to certain memories. He knew he had forgotten years and years full of events and life. His magic probably had done it. Stubbornly holding on to the memories that he thought as important - including mostly Arthur, Gaius, his mother, Will, and Freya. Then some Lancelot and Gwaine, Gwen... But those were disappearing too.  
>Arthur and Gaius were at the center. Everything around them started to fade more violently. The thought seemed disgusting but inevitable.<p>

Merlin's head was suddenly filling with noises - not from the spirits, though. More sharp, solid ones. Familiar ones. That sounded...angry? Merlin realized he was coming around. He started to feel his own body, and there were lights, sounds, scents. The soap.

Then the pain hit him. Slowly, it increased. Merlin whimpered, thinking quickly that maybe being unconcious wasn't that much of a bad idea. Everything stung him like knives and Merlin felt distantly nauseous - everything seemed to be spinning even if he knew he had to be lying down. Gaius had saved his life - revived him, yes, but he hadn't been able to take the pain away from him. Knowing that his body was growing more and more numb all the time as it was ceasing to exist, Merlin could only wonder how crushing the pain would have been normally. He probably wouldn't be able to keep concious. He didn't need to be reminded that his throat was still partly slit, his fingers aching from being displaced, wrist cracked and he had been kicked and punched around in the last few days quite a bit. Merlin might have mentally thanked Lemura for numbing his body if he hadn't been so scared of her.

-rln." a voice said. The letters slurred into a mess of incoherent murmur in Merlin's ear, but he knew that voice. It was Gaius'. It was warm and worried. But also uncertain. Merlin fought back to get his eyes open. It was only then when he realized they were already open. He just couldn't see much. He tried hard to sharpen his vision, but it went mercilessly in and out. Merlin squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. He felt so tired. The urge to stop fighting against the disappearing process was getting more and more inviting. It was hard. It was exhausting - not to mention he hadn't slept or eaten for who knows for how long. But then...he wasn't hungry or thirsty. He was losing his ability to feel and exist, so it shouldn't come to him as a surprise that he was becoming a shadow.

Merlin felt out of it all. It took some struggle to keep himself in the moment, it seemed his throughts wanted to scatter around pointlessly like leaves on a gust of wind. His throat was dry and his breathing sounded troubled. He felt irritated by how disoriented he was. Merlin instantly missed the sharpness of limbo - how he had been himself there, not this lost, weak mess. But then he remembered that limbo was exactly where he was going towards every second, and then the thought didn't seem so inviting anymore.

Merlin tried opening his eyes again, and this time it seemed to work, expect everything was twisting in odd angles and very blurry. It seemed to settle slowly. Then, out of the blue, suddenly everything started to spin again, violently. Merlin let out a gasp as he tried to fight against the sickening sensation but there wasn't any strength in his body.

It took a few moments before Merlin realized the reason for the disgusting movement - he had been shaken slightly. Someone was shaking him. And calling him - no _shouting_ at him. The shake had probably been very small and quick, but in this state, it had almost knocked Merlin out, going through him like violent, nauseating waves.

It was then when Merlin was certain that this had to be Arthur. It just had to be - Gaius never shook him, he was a physician and very old, it would be out of character for him. But Arthur, however, had this odd habit of shaking him whenever the prince was worried. Like that one time when Merlin had received a hit to the head from some bandit - not hard enough to knock him out but hard enough to make him fall to the ground and stay there until the battle had ended. Arthur had rushed to him, first looking irritated and then more serious. Merlin remembered staring at the prince with glassy eyes, blood pouring from his forehead, lying on the grass. Arthur had called his name and Merlin hadn't been able to answer, just stare at him blankly. Arthur had seemed rather worried at this point, and grabbed Merlin by the shoulders and shook him.

In that case, it had worked and Merlin had been able to snap out of his semi-concious state. After that incident, Arthur's logic - which usually didn't seem very logical - was to shake Merlin every time he wanted his servant to concentrate, wake up or draw his attention. Merlin had complained several times about it, because he hated being shaked like a rag doll - Arthur might do it gently in his own opinion, but Merlin was quite a bit smaller than the prince. It was not pleasant.

Right now, Merlin didn't even need to see the prince before he knew Arthur was right there. He moaned, hoping Arthur would realize he was already waking up. _No more shaking. Prince or not. Stop it.  
><em>For a moment, Merlin thanked that he could still remember Arthur properly. All his irritating habits. Even the history of this small gesture - it was thankfully still there. Arthur would never admit it, but his reaction for being worried was to become angry. He had probably inherited that from Uther. Every time Arthur was worried about something or someone, he became angry. That was the reason for the shouting. Merlin couldn't stand being knocked out when Arthur was the one to wake him up - he was always shaken and shouted at. Unfortunately, it seemed that every time something like that happened, he was with Arthur.

Merlin realized he was lost in his own memories, so after trying to memorize them firmly, he concentrated on his eyesight. He recognized the faint shape of blonde hair against the ceiling. Merlin blinked several times, and slowly he started to see properly. Arthur's face swam to focus. The prince looked both angry and worried. He was oddly pale.

Merlin stared at him for a moment. He could hear the soft sounds of Gaius' chambers again - candles, the fireplace, the small wind from the windows. Then the scents - old books, potions, wood. He still wasn't fully aware of everything, and he was like a sleepwalker compared to his normal state and his senses - but he was concious and awake.

Arthur didn't seem to be sure whether Merlin was, in fact, awake or just staring at him with blank eyes. He looked something between confused and frustrated. Oddly enough, he looked colder than usual. More proud and arrogant. Merlin hated that look - it looked too familiar. It was the prat Arthur, the one he had met on that market place all those years ago. Even if there were just some traces of that arrogant and pompous version of Arthur, Merlin could instantly recognize it. It was there, taking more and more hold as the time went on. Because like everything else, Arthur was changing too.

-Merlin?" Arthur asked, still clearly trying to decide whether to shake Merlin again or not.  
>Merlin tried to say 'yes' but managed to let out a raspy muffle. He blinked heavily and searched for Gaius. For his surprise, the old physician was nowhere near.<p>

Arthur seemed to be sitting on the bedside, blocking rest of his view. Merlin glanced slowly up to the prince, eyes blear. Arthur eyed him. -Are you with me?" he asked sharply, almost suspiciously. Merlin concluded he must've looked pretty much out of it if Arthur kept asking that.

The spirits murmured softly into his ears. Merlin took a deep breath, remembering why he had done this for in the first place. He forced himself to concentrate. Arthur seemed to notice that too, because his face filled with contained hatred.

-Are you alright?" he asked through his teeth. Merlin's eyes snapped open because he couldn't understand why Arthur was so angry all of a sudden. He just nodded slowly, confirming he was quite alright. _Meaning not dead, and yes, concious._  
>Of course he wasn't alright. Merlin flinched a little. <em>Arthur doesn't even know I'm dying<em>. And soon, maybe a few hours from now - he wouldn't even care. _Stop it now. Panicking won't help._

Arthur took a deep breath. -Fine. Good." Then he turned towards the door. It took a moment before Merlin's eyes managed to follow Arthur's gaze. But when it did, Merlin gasped. There were two guards there, holding Gaius between them.

Gaius' eyes were casted down to the ground. His shoulders were hunched, and he looked painfully tired and old. Merlin tried to call the physician's name, but the poison had made his throat thick and raspy. His voice came out as a sharp, whiny breath.

-Take him to the dungeons." Arthur hissed. -Two guards to the door. His trial will be held tomorrow. Prepare the pyre."

Merlin's heart skipped a beat and his eyes widened in horror. He had trouble believing his ears. A sudden cold sensation started to spread to his chest. He looked at Gaius, then back to Arthur. The prince looked venomous, despising almost, when he eyed the physician. Gaius looked calm but slightly devastated. For a moment, Merlin wondered if this was real or if he was still unconcious and having a bad dream, no - nightmare was more fitting. He tried to talk again, but nothing came out. Desperation growing, he tried to reach Gaius' eyes. The old physician didn't look up or say anything. Merlin felt a flash of anger towards him - why didn't he defend himself?

Merlin tried again and again to talk, but his voice just wasn't working. Finally, he grabbed shakily Arthur's wrist with frustration, drawing the prince's attention to him. Arthur looked at him, a flash of uncertainty and softness on his face - and also, hurt. Merlin just stared at him with wide, pleading eyes, shaking his head.

Arthur sighed. For a moment, he looked hesitant, but then his face hardened to a mask again. He turned towards the guards again.

-Then after that, get another physician from the lower town. He will take the duty of the court physician immediately. He needs to tend several people." Arthur said to the guards. Gaius stood quietly still. Arthur lifted his chin. The word 'pyre' formed a tightening knot to Merlin's chest, filling him with horror.

-Take him away. Dismissed."

Merlin just shook his head frantically, feeling irritated by his own helplessness. He tightened his grip on Arthur's wrist, shaking it a little. Arthur turned towards him, and he looked much colder than before.

-Gaius is a sorcerer, Merlin. I saw it with my own eyes. He has been practising magic all these years..." He looked disbelieving. His voice was a bit thick. -He knows it's forbidden under the penalty of death, and he did it anyway. He is a traitor and danger to everyone around him. Including you." Arthur said strictly, even if looked slightly shocked.

Merlin shook his head. -h." he managed to squeak out. Arthur looked at him, furrowing his brows. Merlin fought the urge to shout at the prince and jump up from the stupid bed and just be able to _think._ But he couldn't, he was just so frustratingly helpless. Merlin clenched his teeth angrily together and forced his voice to work. -_No_." he said shakily but determined. His voice sounded odd.

Arthur sighed. He looked so much older when he had clear traces of exhaustion on his face - dark bags under his eyes, slightly blear eyes. It was unnerving to know that neither Arthur or Gaius - or pretty much anyone else in that matter - had slept properly in weeks. It showed.  
>-I know that you two are close, Merlin, but he...he used <em>magic<em>." the prince spat the last word angrily. -He could have gotten you killed."

Merlin froze. For a moment, he just stared at Arthur, things clicking together. _Do you really think Gaius...that Gaius...that he tried to kill me? _The thought was so ridiculous that Merlin would have laughed if the situation hadn't been so serious. When Merlin thought about it, it started to make sense.  
>Arthur must have came in to the room at some point. He had seen Gaius healing him - but mistaking it to something else - maybe the prince had thought that the effects of the poison had been all Gaius' doing. TAnd when Gaius had stopped, the symptoms had stopped. Merlin realized how it must've looked like. Just like Gaius had tried to kill him with magic. And very painfully.<p>

-He served us so many years." Arthur mumbled angrily. -And out of all people, he attacked you? _You? _" the prince clenched his hand into a fist. -I would have thought he had some good left in him, but I guess he's just like Morgana."

Merlin felt increasingly angry at the prince. -No." he said groggily, his voice still weak. Merlin felt incredibly frustrated at the fact that his ability to talk was currently very limited. Arthur shook his head. -It's better to accept it, Merlin. I'm...I'm sorry for this. Fortunately I happened to be here in time."

Merlin just wanted to roll his eyes and knock some sense into the prince. He was angry and helpless and disoriented at the same time. He felt a bit bad for Arthur - after all, the prince thought he had barely managed to save Merlin's life, and he also thought Gaius' had betrayed him. In this situation, every new strike hit more harder than it would have normally. The situation was already bad, very bad - the last thing Merlin needed was Gaius to get arrested for using magic. Or...even sent to the pyre. The thought was grimm and and made Merlin shiver with disgust. He had never thought Arthur could go this far. Not anymore, not without thinking it through. It scared Merlin much more than he dared to admit to himself, because there simply wasn't _time_ for this.

Merlin struggled to get up, but Arthur pushed him back down. -No. You're not going anywhere. Stay down."  
>Merlin glared at the prince. While he was touched by the concern, right now he was too worried about Lemura and the spirits murmuring constantly into his ears to concentrate on it. Their time was running out minute by minute - Merlin was already too numb to feel everything properly. He could physically see some of the spirits already. Some of them stood still on the room, some moved restlessly. They looked ghostly and it was hard not to stare at them, but Merlin tried to ignore them. Somehow they seemed to orbit him.<p>

Suddenly Larva's words flashed in his mind. "-_You have seen them, haven't you? They're echos at first. Then flashes, shadows. Then you start to feel them, their empty breathing on your neck. They all want you, they circle around you like blowflies. Ready to eat and tear when you drop down."_

Merlin was sure the spirits lusted energy. That was the currency in limbo. Energy - strong emotions. That's why people who died with unfinished business usually got stuck. Anger, hatred, love - it wouldn't let them rest.

Merlin tried to brush the thoughts off. Just when Merlin opened his mouth to reply, a voice suddenly rang out.

_-You need to find the knife." _it said. Merlin startled - it was the same voice he had heard before - in Arthur's chambers, that had said he needed to find the wolf, that 'the wolf is the key'. Merlin had almost forgotten the whole thing. But this voice was so different than any others - it wasn't malicious or haunting - it sounded somehow familiar and like it was trying to give sincere advice.

_-The knife. It's important." _the voice added. It wasn't threatening, not at all. It was intense, but not harmful. Merlin looked around but saw no one that was talking directly to him. He could hear the voice more like inside his head than the outside world.

Fortunately Arthur didn't really notice that Merlin was suddenly looking around, confused. The prince was clearly in deep thoughts, staring at the door.

Then it hit Merlin. Why wasn't Arthur panicked anymore? He had been on the verge of a _breakdown_ earlier; he had panicked about the deal he had made with Lemura, and that Sir Leon couldn't remember his fellow knights. He had been about to arrest Bayard. Merlin knew that he hadn't been out for long, Arthur had been alone for something like an hour.

Merlin thought about arguing about arresting Gaius - but he knew it was no use. Convincing Arthur that Gaius had saved his life instead of the opposite would be a long process, and time was the last thing Merlin had. He could bail Gaius out from the dungeons if needed. Besides, Gaius had been caught - Arthur had seen him using magic. There was no going back from that now. For a fleeting moment, Merlin wondered coming clean. Telling Arthur about everything, about Lemura and Elyan and all the way to his own magic. But then he remembered that this wasn't Arthur anymore - not completely. He remembered seeing that cold rage on Arthur's face, so much like Uther's. He could hear the word 'pyre' fall from those lips, and it made Merlin want to curl into a ball and bury his face into his trembling hands.

This Arthur was something between the one he knew and the one he had been all those years ago. A cold fist closed around his heart and made him ache. Merlin bit his lip as he was cruelly reminded that in a few hours, Arthur wouldn't even remember who he was. _Time is running out._

Merlin coughed a few times, forcing his voice to work. Then he struggled to get up again, this time pushing Arthur's hand out of the way. He had to do it very carefully, because he was using his wounded hand.

-You stubborn id-..." Arthur started, and grabbed Merlin's hand but insantly let go when Merlin flinched and growled in pain. Merlin bit his lip and quickly pushed himself up with his healthy hand. To his luck, he could barely feel pain anymore. _Perks of ceasing to exist. _

Arthur stared at Merlin's injured hand, brows furrowed. -When did you get that smashed like that?" he asked, warily.

Merlin froze for a moment. He wanted to answer "_about two days ago, it was you who fixed my fingers, you were right there, Arthur." _Instead, he swallowed hard and forced the dwelling anxiety back down. -Earlier this day." Merlin lied, voice finally working - it was harsh and weak, but audible.

Arthur eyed him oddly. -Why didn't you say anything?"

Agony started to get a grip on Merlin again. He had to look away, there was a faint burning sensation in his eyes. -It's not that much of a big deal, Arthur. Just...got clumsy." he said, and now he was glad that his voice was already unsteady.

_He is already forgetting. This is why he is so calm. He can't remember things that happened hours ago - even days ago. He can't remember he made that deal with Lemura or that people are acting strangely, killing each other because of the deals. He is not panicked or worried. He can't probably even remember why he should have arrested Bayard or that he tried to kill me earlier. Not even mentioning Elyan or Sir Leon or Lancelot. It seems the memories don't fade in any particular order - the ones people consider important stay longer.  
><em>

Merlin realized how bad the situation really was. It was _bad. _Gaius was arrested, Arthur couldn't remember anything important, and it was getting harder and harder for himself to think logically - he was sinking closer and closer to the borders of the spirit world. A small sparkle of panic started to settle in.

Merlin struggled to get up from the bed but fell bonelessly right back, nausea taking over. Angrily, he tried again. He sank back - his feet didn't seem to be obey him.

_The knife. I need to find that knife. Arthur had that before...It didn't burn him. Why didn't it burn him?_ Merlin cursed silently. His head felt like it was filled with grey porridge - everything was a slow, messy blur. He felt like he was trying to run in a swamp, legs constantly sinking to sticky puddles, his strength growing thin withing every step.

Desperation was waiting right at the edge of his mind. _I can't do this in time. I can't think...can't think clearly. Nothing makes sense. Not enough at least. What has the knife has to do with anything? Why doesn't it burn Arthur? Why is Bayard under Larva's control and how? Whose voice did I hear? How much time do I have before I forget all the details I found out? How can I reverse Arthur's deal?_

Merlin graved Gaius' help. Arthur wouldn't probably forget the fact that he had just seen the old physician perform magic too soon. _What can I do? Is there anyone that can help me? Lancelot is wounded. The knights will soon be gone...if I never came to Camelot...then would have Lancelot, Elyan, Gwaine or Percival either?_

The answer seemed to be no. If he had the time, Merlin would have stopped to wonder how much his presence had changed things in Camelot. It was astonishing.

_-The knife. It burns almost everyone." _the ghost voice suddenly rip through Merlin's head again, this time violently, desperately. Merlin gringed and his hand flew automatically to his forehead.

_-The knife, Merlin._" the voice almost shouted. Merlin let out a suffocated breath and pushed his knuckles against his brows. It felt like someone was poking the insides of his head with a burning torch. _-Who doesn't it burn?" _the voice demanded.  
><em> -Think, Merlin."<em>

Merlin almost wanted to shout back at the voice that he couldn't possibly think while he was struggling to exist. Keeping concentration on awareness was getting harder and harder every minute.

_-Good. Get angry. It prolongs the process." _the voice said. Merlin let out a miserable whine when the voice continued talking to him. He could hear distantly Arthur asking something from him but Merlin just tried to keep his head together. His anger, frustration, desperation and fear blended all into a mess of dwelling anxiety. _Maybe that's what keeps me going. Being so emotionally affected._

Of course. Just like he had thought before, strong emotions were the ones that made you powerful, especially in limbo. Merlin cursed once again - he had forgotten that already. And he had thought just mere minutes before. Merlin clenched his teeth together. He asked the same question that the voice had said: who doesn't the knife burn?

Arthur._ Just Arthur._ _No one else had touched it...Wait. No. Bayard had held it._ He had stabbed Arthur with it...and it hadn't burnt the king. But then again, it had burnt Gaius and him. It seemed it would burn only magical people.

_-No." _the ghost voice barked to Merlin. Merlin held his head between his hands to keep the dizzyness back.

_What then? It doesn't make any sense. If it's not magical people, then what is it? What's the pattern?  
><em>

Merlin knew he couldn't be sure whose voice it was that was talking to him. He couldn't be sure if it was just a malicious spirit or all Lemura's doing. It could be a trick. But somehow his magic didn't sense evil. Just something distantly familiar...It seemed that the voice tried to help.

Suddenly, an idea struck Merlin. _What if the knife doesn't burn only magical people, but everyone else, too? Does the person need to be under Lemura's control so that the knife won't burn them?_ It would make sense, considering Arthur's deal and Bayard's blind loyalty to her.

_-No." _the voice rang out again, and Merlin bit his lip for the pain it caused. He felt like he was dreaming, unable to snap out and think clearly.

_-What then?"_ Merlin shouted angrily back at the voice inside his own head. His anger was growing along his frustration. _What can it possibly be then? Does it burn everyone that has made a deal? But Bayard doesn't seem like he has made a deal. He is like a slave. The knife doesn't burn him or Arthur. What do they have in common? Nothing important. They're just a king and a prince..._

Click.

Suddenly Merlin's head was wiped of all the incoherent ideas. The realization just clicked like a switch in his head. _Of course. Why didn't I think this before? It's not about who it does burn but who it _doesn't_. That's what important, isn't it? Arthur and Bayard - they're both royal. Maybe that's the link. It doesn't burn royal people._

The more Merlin thought about it, the more it made sense._ Maybe that's why Larva needed Bayard. Maybe the knife burns her, too. Maybe she can't use it. She wanted to revenge to Bayard. This way she could enslave him and also use him in her plans. _

Desperate hope grew in Merlin. _Larva is just a shell. She shouldn't be able to do magic or use any spells. She is a shell, the mask, so she needs someone to do the dirty work. That's why she uses Bayard. What could be a better slave? A king, a powerful king - perfect passage to every land and every court. Someone who can use an ancient knife but doesn't seem to have a mind of his own anymore. A perfect weapon. She gets everything she wants - Larva acts on a memory and not on a real impulse. She is dead, a facade - it's all about Lemura. She is the spirit, the real power. This is what Lemura would have wanted. To make Bayard her slave like Bayard did to her.  
><em>

Merlin felt some hope spark again. Maybe there was still a way to figure this whole thing out. _She wants revenge. Fine. He needed Bayard to use the knife on Arthur.. Bayard stabbed Arthur to get him to the limbo, so Lemura could torture him to make a deal. And that succeeded._ _Arthur made that deal, and she started destroying this timeline. Wait, so she couldn't do it without the deal? Maybe her powers are limited after all. Maybe she needs the deals. Elyan - he also made a deal. _

Merlin's eyes widened as things rushed in his head and just clicked together. _Of course! This is how she works - she tortures people as long as she needs to get them break and make a deal with her. But she can not do it without the consent. Everything is linked to the deals! _

Merlin swallowed hard, blinking his eyes open and looking up. Some of the spirits in the room stared right at him. Merlin could increasingly feel their presence but he was too deep in his thoughts to pay attention to them.

_If the knife can be used only by royal people, then Arthur can use it too. But how? _Merlin forced the lingering nausea and dizzyness back, thinking hard. Merlin sensed that all of this hard thinking was burning up his ailing energy, but he had no other choice. _Bayard used the knife on Arthur, and Arthur was sent straight to limbo. He got trapped there. And he got out when he had made the deal and the knife was removed. Arthur got stabbed through the heart, but he didn't die. He was completely unharmed afterwards. _

Merlin's heart was thundering in his ears, making his blood rush loudly. _Maybe that knife doesn't kill? Maybe it traps you in limbo? _

It made horrifyingly a lot sense. It was a perfect weapon. Larva could use it to send people right at Lemura's hands. And Lemura could bend time so a very short time could feel like forever. That's how Arthur broke. Elyan and the others broke after being haunted in their dreams._  
><em>

_Larva needs the knife. Lemura needs the deals. What's the connection? What am I missing?_

Merlin only distantly realized Arthur was shaking him again, shouting something at him. He probably seemed catatonic right now - maybe Arthur had been trying to talk to him for a some time now and got worried when he didn't pay any attention - but he couldn't concentrate on it right now. _What's the logic? What's the missing piece? Lemura is able to erase timelines and countless people along with it. She draws her powers from anger, hatred, bitterness, vengeange. She said it herself - she has been in limbo for six thousand years. She wants revenge, and the normal rules don't oblige to her. Lemura wants Bayard to suffer. She hates him with the power of thousand burning suns. That's what makes her so powerful in limbo. That's why she was able to take over.  
><em>

Merlin forced the spirits out of his head completely. He needed to concentrate completely. _What is her goal? What does she gain from erasing this timeline?_

Then the answer struck him a like a lightning. It was so incredibly easy, childishly obvious that it knocked air out of Merlin. The sensation was overwhelming, even in his semi-numb state._ Of course. Of. Course! Stupid, stupid, why didn't I think of it before? _

Merlin squeezed his eyes shut tighter. The odd voice kept quiet, and it encouraged Merlin to think further. _Lemura wants to stop this from happening to her. That's the answer, the reason behind everything - she never wanted to die. She never wanted to leave her mother, that's exactly what she said to me. She said that she is proud how she was raised. She never wanted to become the mask, the muted sorceress.  
><em>

_Lemura wants to erase this timeline right back to the day Arthur was born. But not further. She only wants to bring Ygraine back. Then the Great Purge would have never happened. Uther would have never slaughtered hundreds of people. Larva's mother had been killed by the Druids. And Druids never killed anyone, they didn't believe in violence. What could make them go so far? Had they foreseen something so terrible that they couldn't let them live?  
><em>

Merlin shook his head._  
><em>

_But Larva had escaped, that's what Lemura said to me. She had escaped from the Druids and the Shadow Breakers had raised her. What did she say then? She...she said that Larva had gotten lost into the woods. That...sounds odd. Why would she get lost in the woods? If the Shadow Breakers were truly raising her, she wouldn't get lost. Especially when her mother had been murdered in a forest. She would've been more careful. It just doesn't fit.  
><em>

Merlin's breaths very shallow and quick now, and he was roughly shaking from the anxiety and pent-up fear. _No, she must've lied to me. Larva was powerful, even when she was younger. She is some kind of a sorceress - Mercia's men shouldn't have been any match for her._ _Why didn't she use magic then? Why did she got captured?_

Merlin's eyes snapped wide open now. _There had to be a reason. She must have been weakened somehow to get caught.  
><em>

There was a nagging feeling at the back of Merlin's head. There was something obvious he was missing, and he was so close to realizing it.

_-Shadow Breakers."_ the ghost voice suddenly added loudly and hot white pain soared through Merlin's skull. He realized he was swaying on his place. Merlin forced himself to think. He distantly realized his body was slumping without strength, that all of his remaining energy was fading quickly.

_What about Shadow Breakers? I don't know much about them. Cailleah is the gatekeeper of the spirit world...But where are everyone else? _

Once again, the connections kept on clicking violently fast. _They're dead. The Shadow Breakers. Oh God, they are all dead. Of course. That's why I have never heard of them - Uther must have killed them all in the Great Purge. Uther's men must've attacked them - maybe that's why Larva got separated of them, of her family, maybe she got wounded. Maybe that's why she got "lost" in the woods, and Mercia's men were able to capture her?_

The rush of the thinking progress was overwhelming and almost scaringly fitting now. Pieces of the puzzles were cliking seamlessly together, so seamlessly that Merlin feared that if he stopped for one moment, he would lose the train of thought.

_That's it. Lemura doesn't care about the souls. She doesn't care about this timeline. All she wants is to reverse things right up till that day when the Shadow Breakers were killed, when her own life went to hell.  
>Lemura wants to stop the Great Purge from happening at all! If Ygraine never died, there wouldn't be any Great Purge. And without the Purge, all of the Shadow Breakers would still be alive. Without it all, she would be alive and well. And - she would be able to revenge Bayard. She would be able to get her hands on him - in the limbo she can't harm living people.<em>

Merlin's whole world spun with the exhausting and terrifying logic behind it all. It all made sense now, finally sense. Now he _understood_. His ears rang and his head was on fire, and he could feel the dull throbbing pain in his whole body. Their time was soon up. His body was giving in. _  
><em>

Merlin gritted his teeth. _Now it's time to stop her. This timeline can not cease to exist._ Maybe the Druids foresaw this long ago - maybe that's why they took so drastic actions. They were terrified of Larva because they knew she could become powerful, far more powerful than Nimueh or any creature of the Old Religion that had set a foot on Earth.

_-On this side of the border, Merlin Emrys, you are the most powerful. You are the only one who can stop her."_ the ghost voice said to Merlin, the sound of it tearing through Merlin's skull. _  
><em>

Merlin looked up, dizzy, and saw the spirits staring at him. They could clearly see him. Merlin blinked and looked around. They were all staring at him with their empty, dead eyes. Sharp sting of panic went through his heart. There was something deeply unnatural in the situation. Then, all of a sudden, the spirits started to walk towards Merlin. Merlin's breathing got stuck on his throat as fear made him shiver. Merlin blinked frantically and turned his head sharply back to Arthur.

Pain tearing through him, Merlin suddenly felt how his world spun violently. He felt how he lost control of his own body, slumping forward. He forced strength back, with angry determination. He blinked and coughed, wincing after every movement. Shakily, he managed to pull himself up and blink his eyesight back. He realized he was somehow tangled against Arthur once again, too disoriented to remember why.

_Did I just...did I just slip to the other side? They coud all see me. All of them. _The thought was horrifying. Merlin was really starting to fear for his life. He had just...practically _died_ for a moment. Or fainted. Maybe those things didn't have any difference now?

In a quick, horrifying moment, Merlin realized his heart had just stopped. Just like that. Without a warning.

This was it then. It was starting. The countdown. It was real and terrifyingly fast, and inevitable. It seemed to become quicker every second.

Merlin managed to straighten up weakly_, _and looked slowly up to Arthur. The sight that greeted him made him instantly sick. There was a cold, hard mask on Arthur's face, something that Merlin knew all too well.

-This is the last time I will let something like this slip." a proud, cold voice said. It sounded painfully unfamiliar and familiar at the same time, because Merlin knew both versions of the prince - old and new. Arthur eyed him, chin lifted. His blue eyes were distant, like the prince was million miles away from Merlin. Icy sensation filled Merlin's chest.

-I don't need a servant that is this sick all of a sudden and start fainting like a girl, _Mer_lin. You're just a useless idiot, why am I even wasting my time with you?" Arthur looked irritated. Then he let roughly go of his servant and stood up, looking down on him._  
><em>

Merlin stared at the prince with helpless, gleaming eyes. This time, he almost hoped his heart would stop again.


End file.
